The Mumsnet ideal

[Home77]

You have to: Have big house in the country
Work, both of you, all the hours you can to afford this.
Drive everywhere
Get a cleaner

If you have e.g. a flat, in the town, that is not a 'proper home'
If you don't work all the hours you can, you are lazy
Ditto for driving.

All baby problems can be solved by wearing a sling and co sleeping. Just 'pop' your screaming baby in a sling and off you go!

You must suffer from anxiety.

the mn purposefully confused poster, the naive ingenue
Greggs? Is that a surname?
Little mix? Is that like bake off?
fort nite is that with the national trust

When you have no kids and you get together with a man who has kids, you automatically know what you’re getting yourself into.

When you have your own children, there’s no way you could have possibly known how difficult parenting would be - it’s not like anyone gives you a manual lol! - and you deserve all the sympathy and wine.

You must not prefer to remove hair from any part of your body. If you do then it's not because you prefer it, it's because of porn and men.

But likewise if you don't shave your legs, you are a lazy skank who doesn't "take care of themselves" and has no bodily hygiene.

I love these
You should either do all your shopping at Lidl or with Ocado. There is no middle ground between the two.
If you’re on a budget live on dhal and veg curry, if you’re not then only buy organic, free range etc.
No drink other than milk or water should pass your child’s lips, other than on very rare special occasions, otherwise they will end up obese and with no teeth.

Everyone in the household does their own washing.

All members of a household must eat the same meal rather than having to cook 2 dinners. Heaven forbid!

You must never drop your DC anywhere after the age of 15 or else you’re spoiling them. Never do favours for them or help them when you can.

Social services will regard it as top priority if you say fuck in front of your teenagers

Your sex life is incredible. You have 13 orgasms every time you have sex with your husband who happens to be HOT and half the village woman lust after him.

You are completely dense to wonder why people who never want children are posting on mumsnet

Your dc are adults the second they turn 18 and you should immediately stop caring what they do or where they are

If DH has cleared out the joint account and buggered off, you are a SAHM with 9 children, then the solution is to start your own business.

Upon returning home from work the salaried worker must embrace the sahp, run a bath for the children,cook dinner,run a hoover round,light some expensive candles and profusely proclaim they do faff all day (other than be sole wage earner). And that being a mutha is “hardest job in the world” and having a job is a doss in comparison

Note none of the above⬆️⬆️⬆️ applies if the salaried worker is female and she returns to a sahd. In which case he’s a cocklodger and she’s a goddess who gives up precious family time to shoulder the burden of being sole earner

You haven't had a night out for 15 years but it's completely unreasonable to wish your parents would babysit.

You must breastfeed all of your children until they are a minimum of two years old. Said breastfeeding will render you unable to do anything around the house for this entire period, requiring your DH to come home from a full day's work as sole earner to do all of the housework and cooking. Anything less means he's lazy and irresponsible. Obviously you cannot possibly do any paid work during this period since you are b r e a s t f e e d i n g.

Despite the ample evidence of many MN posters living outside the UK, you must profess total confusion at anyone posting anything indicating that they do not live in the UK.

In particular, inane threads about "why are you still awake" must be started by at least one poster every (UK) nighttime so that those of us who are barely halfway through the day can point out that it's not that surprising that we're still awake since it's only 4.30 pm here.

The solution to being skint is "get a better paid job", because there are just so many employers crying out for people to fill their unlimited well paid positions.

And not just any job,well paid
I saw a recommendation to a career changer to retrain as a barrister,become a judge
Yea because that happens. Women just climb that legal ladder to be judges

You either pretend to like or actively hate all your female in-laws. You're barely aware of your male in-laws.

I've very recently joined Mumsnet. The person who told me about it said that "some posters are a bit... Unusual."
I think this thread has been very informative.

Welcome, @Suki12345678

You MUST wash pyjamas every day.
You either live in central London or in the middle of butt fuck nowhere (paraphrasing slightly)
You don't leave your child home alone EVER. They're still a widdle baby as they prepare for their a levels.
It doesn't matter that it's a method that works in almost every other developed country or in every decade prior to the new millennium. Here, it's abusive and SS will be involved.
The GP/teacher/midwife/health visitor/paediatrician is wrong. Don't even try it, your the mother, you know best.

If your husband calls the kids little shits then he's clearly a risk, shouldn't be left alone with them and you need to contact the health visitor and SS to share your concerns.

In the mean time you should be giving it some serious thought as to whether this is somebody you want to spend your life with.

If somebody is TTC then it's perfectly understandable that they'd wish somebody else's baby dead, because their pain and suffering is so great they shouldn't be flamed.

February,is there a background context to that observation?