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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to this hen party request?

284 replies

HenPartyHelp · 02/04/2019 23:27

I’m due to go on a hen party next month, it’s DPs family member although we’re fairly close

The whole thing is a surprise for the hen so all of my info is coming via text from one of the bridesmaids who I’ve never met

I’ve recently been told that I’m to wear a specific colour, it’s a colour I don’t wear at all and I would have to go out and buy a whole new outfit for it, which I hadn’t originally planned to do plus it would literally be worn once so it feels like such a waste of money

The whole wedding plus stags and hens is already costing us a lot of money and this is yet another expense that we really can’t afford

WIBU to just say no, I’m not wearing that colour, but I’ll avoid being in pictures so as not to ruin them (which I’m fairly sure is the reason for the colour scheme?)

I’ve never met any of these people before, if I say no will they all hate me before I even get there??
Should I just suck it up and buy a new outfit?
I don’t want to be the awkward one who refused to join in
Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
spanishwife · 03/04/2019 16:51

People stop suggesting the 'pink thing':

  1. that's not the dress code - it's ALL pink
  2. wearing just one pink thing is just as bad as wearing no pink thing - so save your money on buying just one thing
  3. OP will look like an idiot who can't understand a basic instruction
Hollowvictory · 03/04/2019 16:54

Charity shop 0r Primark or borrow don't go.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 03/04/2019 16:57

Just buy from eBay and get it over with. You could do a whole outfit for 20 quid

IvanaPee · 03/04/2019 17:00

OP will look like an idiot who can't understand a basic instruction

Or someone who’s travelled from the late 90s with her giant pink pashmina! 😂😂😂

spanishwife · 03/04/2019 17:17

Indeed @ivanapee!

milksoffagain · 03/04/2019 17:46

Buy something white or use something you already have and just run it through the washing machine with a baby pink dye...

BlackCatSleeping · 03/04/2019 17:57

Did it say all pink? Or is this just an assumption people have made?

My cousin's daughter had her hen night last year and from the photos everyone just wore a little something gold. Absolutely no one turned up in a completely gold dress. It was all hints of gold and gold scarves.

I think the OP needs to clarify what is expected before making a decision.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 03/04/2019 18:11

There’s a decent range in here. I generally find when I embrace these things they’re fun.

I’d get this: www.everything5pounds.com/en/Pearl-Encrusted-Ribbed-Midi-Swing-Dress/p/654993?q=:styleFacet:Pink

trendingorange · 03/04/2019 18:34

Or a red sock milksoff

Whatsername7 · 03/04/2019 18:50

Ive been to a few hen nights where the group wears a little black dress and the bride wears white. I think that is just about acceptable because most people have an lbd. Anything else puts unfair financial pressure on people.

lablablab · 03/04/2019 18:59

Could you ask around to borrow something? Or try Everything5pound or Primark, etc?

If it's smart, you could wear a black skirt with a pink top? Or wear a pink cardigan over a black dress?

I've done this for a few friends on their hens. I didn't really bat an eyelid tbh, it's all part of the fun, I think.

elfies · 03/04/2019 20:46

How about a Throw or Pashmina in 'the' colour and simply wear your black dress

IAmFourEels · 04/04/2019 13:47

I had this, except it was all the hens in black and the bride in silver.

I was annoyed, I don't wear black and had to borrow an ill-fitting dress that I looked rubbish in.

On the night, though, I found I didn't care as I was too busy drinking having fun. And it made the bride look like the star of the show, which was nice as she's an amazing person and deserves to have a fuss made of her now and then.

Baby pink vs. white is truly awful though. Not an easy colour to wear for the hens, and the bride won't even stand out that much!

whodidapoopoointhebath · 04/04/2019 17:33

I’d just buy something cheap in the colour requested

grumiosmum · 04/04/2019 17:39

Buy something cheap & donate it to a charity shop after you've worn it.

Don't be a party pooper.

perfectstorm · 04/04/2019 17:41

Maybe have a look on Ebay for brands you know you really like, and search to see if they have anything suitable? It's astonishing how cheaply expensive clothes can go for there, and if you're familiar with a brand, you can have a good idea of whether it will fit/suit you, too.

I get the feeling from your early posts that they will be getting quite dressed up.

I sympathise. Some people appear to think every wedding is the only one that will ever occur, from the costs expected.

pollymere · 04/04/2019 17:41

Charity shop pound rail?

Tiredand · 04/04/2019 17:42

Jeans and Primark T shirt. You'll stand out too then.

JulieTwo · 04/04/2019 17:44

Have you a friend you could lend something off?

Scotland32 · 04/04/2019 17:45

As others have said.... just use accessories! You could probably pull something off for £1!

OrigamiZoo · 04/04/2019 17:50

cheap ....and be cheerful!

myhamsteratefreddiestarr · 04/04/2019 18:07

My hen night had a "blue" theme as it is my favourite colour. Nearly everyone complied, most people just wore jeans with a blue top, but one friend didn't saying that she had no blue tops and wasn't going to waste money on something she would never wear again.

I take her point, however.... the same friend had bought for previous hen nights, various fancy dress outfits that she would never wear again, including pyjamas, army gear, showgirls etc.

So she was quite happy to spend a fortune on themed stuff, but wouldn't spend a couple of quid on a top/tshirt.

I do think that if you don't want to join in the theme then don't go because if you do you will not look like part of the group and will stick out like a sore thumb. I would hate that. I hate dressing up , but if I go on a hen night then I always join in with the theme.

genius1308 · 04/04/2019 18:08

This would be my idea of hell! Baby pink is definitely not a colour I'd wear. It always like lovely on blonde haired beauties but not me. My skin is so pale I'm sure they'd cart me off to the morgue if I stood still long enough and i have red hair...definitely not a good combination with baby pink (or any pastel colour for that matter 😂).

Twillow · 04/04/2019 18:09

Oh come on, it's really petty of you to refuse this based on your personal taste. Just buy a cheap top at the very, very least. Scarf...no.

nuxe1984 · 04/04/2019 18:10

Black trousers/dress/skirt with baby pink top or cardigan!

I would 100% not wear a complete outfit that was baby pink. I would look horrendous (am a red head with quite a high colour). But I'd try to join in with accessories.

Ask around your friends/family is they've got anything you could borrow. Or look in charity shops. Must admit, haven't noticed that much baby pink in the shops at the moment … unless you count the appalling gendered children's aisles ...