To say no to this hen party request?

[HenPartyHelp]

I’m due to go on a hen party next month, it’s DPs family member although we’re fairly close

The whole thing is a surprise for the hen so all of my info is coming via text from one of the bridesmaids who I’ve never met

I’ve recently been told that I’m to wear a specific colour, it’s a colour I don’t wear at all and I would have to go out and buy a whole new outfit for it, which I hadn’t originally planned to do plus it would literally be worn once so it feels like such a waste of money

The whole wedding plus stags and hens is already costing us a lot of money and this is yet another expense that we really can’t afford

WIBU to just say no, I’m not wearing that colour, but I’ll avoid being in pictures so as not to ruin them (which I’m fairly sure is the reason for the colour scheme?)

I’ve never met any of these people before, if I say no will they all hate me before I even get there??
Should I just suck it up and buy a new outfit?
I don’t want to be the awkward one who refused to join in

Really? Yes, YABU. It's one event out of your life for someone else. Just do it.

We had this for a wedding. I am still smarting at the request, on their wedding blog of all places, "ladies to wear an elegant knee length dress. No red, black or white. Gentlemen to wear a dark suit, white shirt and tie." FFS. We had already spent hundreds on airfares and hotels. Three line whip out meant we had no choice to comply. DH annoyed cos he could not wear his new salmon pink suit and I was hopping cos I can look elegant whilst showing my bloody knees.

I made a huge fuss. Some of them are still not speaking to me and my mother is still not over it.

Just get something baby pink, like jeans or a top and have something to go over it or change at the first opportunity.

Have an afternoon doing the charity shop round before you pull out. Yes you can get XYZ in Primark and the like. You will probably find something with a quality name in a charity shop so you will feel more in. Millions of people including the well off go to charity shops. I had some high designer names from them over the years too

@HenPartyHelp I wear baby pink and I bought this bolero top for £5.99. I think it might solve your problem. Wear with a black dress and you’ll be fine.

www.amazon.co.uk/Red-Olives%C2%AE-Womens-Cropped-Cardigan/dp/B07BRN6CLQ?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I totally get where you’re coming from. I wouldn’t like a request like this either. It will be more difficult to find something that you like in charity shops / Primark etc. But I’ve heard of more difficult asks (dressing in 1920s gear / Baywatch bathing suits etc). If it were me, I would suck it up for the evening. It is a real shame hens and stags are getting so high concept now.

Buy a cheap new outfit or top, as others have said ... you'd spoil it for everyone if you refused to take part, which would be a shame.

baby pink

Oh, crap!

I don't do pastels- and would never wear "baby pink" - it's horrible!

Black dress, baby pink cheap pashmina type scarf big enough to mask the black if you need to, and then either dye it a real colour or leave it in a skip after the hen night.

"oh be a sport and buy ugly clothes to wear once" is why this planet is getting more fucked by the hour.

OP, at the very least buy something you can dye black after?

Absolutely no way I’d do this. Attending a hen do shouldn’t be about compromising yourself.

See - this is nice. I’d buy THIS and then do black accessories to tone it down if you fet that way inclined.

Could not manage to read ten pages of pashmina suggestions. What’s your style OP?

I’d probably just borrow from a friend/friends

That is an unfortunate colour...especially if you’re a redhead like me 😱. I think you probably do have to suck it up, just this once though. You will look a bit odd if you turn up in a completely different colour. However, a nice top or something with jeans shouldn’t be a prob as opposed to a full outfit (depending on how posh it is).

It's not a great colour but you just have to suck it up. I had a slight theme at my hen which wasn't restrictive and people could do as little or as much of it as they wanted. One girl turned up and told me she didn't do themes but she had worn 'something' to go with it, which was fine. I later heard she had asked someone else if she could sack off the theme and wear something that would have made her stick out completely. She was told no by that person and I was glad. It just smacked of her not giving a shit, yet she'd be the first to be pissed off if the situation was reversed. Not saying you are like this at all but as the bride, I wanted it my way for once.

Buy an outfit from a charity shop nice and cheap

1 am going to a hen party and we have a seating plan for were everyone is to sit for their meal is this normal i thought this for wedding

They’re really not the kind of crowd I could rock up in jeans and a primark t shirt in

oh yes they are. If they don't accept peoples choices then don't go at all.

Baby pink is a bit of an awkward colour... I love it but still don’t own any clothes in it! Agree that EBay is your best bet. I would get in the spirit of it though and try to have a great weekend being part of the group. It isn’t going to be that much faff like making a costume or something!

I can’t believe the people saying “just do your own thing and don’t stick to the dress code”

I organised a hen do for a friend and we had a dress codez Everyone looked absolutely amazing, the photos were incredible but one girl moaned for WEEKS about not having anything in that colour so could she wear . On the day she turned up in the exact colour the bride was wearing because she “had misread” the invitation and honestly, she looked the biggest fucking dick in the world. She got asked to take all the photos because everyone was so pissed off at her for her attention seeking ways. She wasn’t even a close friend of the bride either.

The competitive not-giving-a-shit that happens on MN is tiring and gives the impression that those people don’t actually have any friends

I love baby pink, but have absolutely no clothes in that colour!

I would look like a complete fool in baby pink. I have purple hair and a pasty Irish complexion. However I'd still be going to a site like everything5quid, buying a cheap dress in the colour and then possibly colour block with black accessories- think belt, shoes, bag etc - to tone it down a bit whilst still complying with the theme!!

I'd still be going to a site like everything5quid

I was looking at that site - it didn't look bad, except as a PP said it's not good for the planet to treat clothes as disposable.

AND it looks as though the sizes are small fitting and you'd probably have to order a couple of sizes larger than you usually do.

Primark's the same for sizing IME.

Baby pink? Bollocks to that. I haven't worn that colour since I was in a pram and I wouldn't start now for anyone. I'd look shit and I wouldn't be making a fool of myself just cos someone else loves the colour. What the hell happened to going out for a meal and some drinks?

Cheap accessory or charity shop I would suggest. At least if it's charity shop the money you spend will be doing some good.
Unlike primark.
If they're not happy with it I'd suggest keeping out of the photos.
Personally if I was invited to anything with a colour scheme I'd not go even if it's a favourite colour, I just think the whole colour scheme thing is so like something out of the Kardashians.

@SchadenfreudePersonified totally agree about Penneys Primark. I got two pairs of jeans in there last year. Same size. Same material. Just one was grey and one khaki. The grey were too big the khaki too tight smh 🤦‍♀️