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AIBU?

To say no to this hen party request?

284 replies

HenPartyHelp · 02/04/2019 23:27

I’m due to go on a hen party next month, it’s DPs family member although we’re fairly close

The whole thing is a surprise for the hen so all of my info is coming via text from one of the bridesmaids who I’ve never met

I’ve recently been told that I’m to wear a specific colour, it’s a colour I don’t wear at all and I would have to go out and buy a whole new outfit for it, which I hadn’t originally planned to do plus it would literally be worn once so it feels like such a waste of money

The whole wedding plus stags and hens is already costing us a lot of money and this is yet another expense that we really can’t afford

WIBU to just say no, I’m not wearing that colour, but I’ll avoid being in pictures so as not to ruin them (which I’m fairly sure is the reason for the colour scheme?)

I’ve never met any of these people before, if I say no will they all hate me before I even get there??
Should I just suck it up and buy a new outfit?
I don’t want to be the awkward one who refused to join in

OP posts:

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Dieu · 02/04/2019 23:42

Oh, it's not that bad.

Like you though, I could do black. I live in it every day, after all! my kids always nag me to wear more colour

Lizzie48 · 02/04/2019 23:43

I agree with PPs that you should go round the charity shops to find something appropriate.

slappinthebass · 02/04/2019 23:45

Oh god, when I was in college I went on a hen do, we were required to buy a tshirt with a glitter printed 'Ellie's Angels' with the Charlie's Angels logo on. I remember being furious about it because it was so tacky and I'd never wear it again, but being made to feel like a huge Bitch for questioning it. I went without lunch for a week to afford it. Hen do was awful as you can imagine, and put me off them for life. Now I'm older and wiser I'd definitely not pay for something I couldn't afford or that I'd be really embarrassed in or was single use so bad for the environment. Do you really want to go on the hen? I do wonder if feigning illness is the best bet. Otherwise, I think your suggestion of staying out of the photos is fine.

Hippee · 02/04/2019 23:45

That is going to look so shit! What Pantone number is it? Have they sent you a colour chart - I envisage a range of horribly clashing outfits

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 02/04/2019 23:46

I really sympathise- I’m a total grinch when it comes to ridiculous hen parties/ baby showers etc and the unnecessary expense usually involved for guests.

I’d have a quick look on Boohoo for a cheap but inoffensive dress in the required colour, but I wouldn’t stress over it.

Unless it was fluorescent pink, which I suspect it is!

Yabbers · 02/04/2019 23:46

Nope. Wouldn’t be going and if they hated me for it, so be it.

I would rather stick pins in me than go on that sort of hens do.

Sunshineboo · 02/04/2019 23:46

Asos have some cheap bits in baby pink - have done a screen shot of one example

To say no to this hen party request?

Lalliella · 02/04/2019 23:47

Don’t be a party pooper! Buy something cheap or borrow something, and join in and try to enjoy yourself.

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/04/2019 23:47

Do NOT ask. Just rock up with a baby pink scarf/Primark cardigan.

You can buy cheapo nail polish.

If the ‘crowd’ are the kind who demand more expensive items, then have a long think why you are the sort of person who is completely controlled by what ‘the crowd’ think.

No one will give a shit if you turn up, are cheerful and fun, join in. If they do they’re fuckwits so you have to decide: do fuckwits get to control what I do and what I think?

slappinthebass · 02/04/2019 23:47

Ew, baby pink. I'm afraid there would be no way I'd wear that. Hardly something everyone has in their wardrobe.

llangennith · 02/04/2019 23:48

Can you just not go? Sounds like you don't enjoy it anyway. Make an excuse.

Brienneoftarthiloveyou · 02/04/2019 23:49

I know it's shit but I think if you're going to go, then you need to wear the colour - whether an accessory or full outfit, you do need to get into the spirit I'm afraid.

FurrySlipperBoots · 02/04/2019 23:50

I reckon you should just borrow something from a friend, or get something on ebay that you sell on afterwards. You needn't spend much at all, and you'll stick out like if you don't join in.

Insomnibrat · 02/04/2019 23:50

I'm another who would be in black with pink accessories. Nice pashmina, handbag etc.

Lizzie48 · 02/04/2019 23:51

The colour is very cringeworthy, that's for sure, I'm not surprised you're balking at it.

Fruitsaladjelly · 03/04/2019 00:07

You can get a cheap pashmina on eBay for under £5 including postage. If you can’t afford that then I’d be rethinking going at all as the night will cost much more in total. It’s not necessary to buy an entire outfit but it’s also not necessary for it to be your usual taste. Missguided / primark do some very cheap stuff, which can be donated after if your budget will stretch.

Whysoannoying · 03/04/2019 00:13

That ASOS dress is fab value but only any good if you're as skinny and gorgeous as the model..... Otherwise agree with others - wear the black with a pink pashmina, sorted! Have fun!

SandAndSea · 03/04/2019 00:17

I would wear black with a pink scarf and pink nail polish. Maybe a pink cardi or jacket if I could find one v cheap or free.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 03/04/2019 00:22

Maybe if you say your size, a MN may have something in baby pink they could lend you?

SleepingStandingUp · 03/04/2019 00:26

If the bird is in white and everyone is in baby pink and you're in black you will look like you're trying to make a point / stand out. Given they're all strangers I'd prpbay look for something cheap and cheerful from a charity shop / cheap shop and suck it up

Limpshade · 03/04/2019 00:28

Do what PPs have suggested and buy a baby pink T-shirt or vest to wear.

If you have already spent a lot on this wedding, this really is not the hill you want to die on!

Grumpelstilskin · 03/04/2019 00:33

Fuck that! I would not wear baby pink for no fucker! This isn't even the bride insisting on that.

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BackforGood · 03/04/2019 00:35

What about messaging the group

"Don't want to be a party pooper, but I need to check now if there are going to be any more unexpected expenses I haven't budgeted for - like buying new clothes - as, if I have to pull out, I'd rather give you more notice and do it now, than finding out nearer the time and having to pull out without giving you much notice"

You'll probably find others in the group are thinking it, it just needs someone to be the first to say it.

AcrossthePond55 · 03/04/2019 00:39

"OMG!! I bought the CUTEST pink dress. You won't believe what happened! This morning I spilt red nail varnish all over it! It was ruined!! Isn't it a good thing I already had this nice black dress and this . "

That's what I'd do if I was 'required' to wear a colour I didn't normally wear. For instance, I absolutely CANNOT wear green, orange, or yellow. The colours look bilious on me.

Freyanna · 03/04/2019 00:39

www.everything5pounds.com/en/Womens/Dresses/c/clothing-dresses#/?q=%3Arelevance%3AstyleFacet%3APink&sort=relevance

Would something from here be suitable?

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