To say no to this hen party request?

[HenPartyHelp]

I’m due to go on a hen party next month, it’s DPs family member although we’re fairly close

The whole thing is a surprise for the hen so all of my info is coming via text from one of the bridesmaids who I’ve never met

I’ve recently been told that I’m to wear a specific colour, it’s a colour I don’t wear at all and I would have to go out and buy a whole new outfit for it, which I hadn’t originally planned to do plus it would literally be worn once so it feels like such a waste of money

The whole wedding plus stags and hens is already costing us a lot of money and this is yet another expense that we really can’t afford

WIBU to just say no, I’m not wearing that colour, but I’ll avoid being in pictures so as not to ruin them (which I’m fairly sure is the reason for the colour scheme?)

I’ve never met any of these people before, if I say no will they all hate me before I even get there??
Should I just suck it up and buy a new outfit?
I don’t want to be the awkward one who refused to join in

[FrozenMargarita17]

Hell would freeze over before you got me in baby pink.

[gamerchick]

Just get a sash or something. They're cheap and you can bin it.

I'd back out me, sounds like hell.

[flumpybear]

Baby pink!! FFS an extra lb or two of excess fat and bingo - look just like a pig 😵
I would definitely not be wearing fucking baby pink if that was me either

Why does common sense leave and idiocy arrive when organising hen do parties ffs 🙄🙄🙄

[ThisIsMeOrIsIt]

I went on a friend's hen do some years ago where we were asked to wear purple. I bought a cheap purple dress, some people just wore part-purple, like a purple top with jeans or trousers. I think it worked though because we were all wearing different shades. It looked really good! Mind you, the bride was also in purple so it wasn't that block of colour thing.

For my hen do we dressed up as Harry Potter characters. It was absolutely awesome! Lots of people really getting into it, including one friend as Hagrid, complete with beard! It was my idea. Three people didn't dress up and that was absolutely fine with me, they're in all the photos, had just as good a time as the rest of us. Just because I enjoy dressing up doesn't mean others do too.

When it's expected for everyone to be this big block of colour so the bride can stand out, it's got to be a colour that's easy to buy/feel good in/cheat slightly. Or it just needs to be the top in that colour. I don't blame you, OP, for not wanting to go along all in baby pink. I'd get a cheap pink top and wear jeans - if they're really bothered about photos then just stand with your legs behind someone else.

[MondeoFan]

You are being Petty Op you need to suck it up and buy an outfit. Doesn't matter if you don't wear it again. Don't be a bore and a party pooper!

[Hyacintharehighersincelasttime]

just buy a pink shirt

[Tensixtysix]

Is it a posh hen do? All you're worried about is a bit of 'baby pink'?
Be glad you don't have to dress up as a 60s disco dancer with the pink afro wig and flares!

[ShatnersWigIsActuallyAMammoth]

You are being Petty Op you need to suck it up and buy an outfit. Doesn't matter if you don't wear it again. Don't be a bore and a party pooper!

Baaa, another sheep.

Seriously, WHY does she have to "suck it up"? She's a grown adult. This isn't a job. This isn't the Police giving an order. This is supposedly a fun social occasion.

[pepperpot99]

Another vote for Boohoo.com. I have a teenage dd who will only wear a party dress about 3 times so they have to be dirt cheap. Boohoo is my friend. They aren't good quality but they look great on 14 - 18 year olds with great figures

[CadburysTastesVileNow]

I would wear the black dress you feel comfy in and this cheapie long cardi over the top (then stuff it in your bag later)

www.amazon.co.uk/Zeagoo-Womens-Waterfall-Cardigan-Sweater/dp/B07FVRR14L/ref=sr_1_17?psc=1&s=gateway&keywords=long%2Bpink%2Bcardigan&th=1&qid=1554278820&sr=8-17&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[Hullygully]

They are mental. Just don't go. I travel a lot and see so many of these groups wandering around airports, all in matching colours/tops with stupid headbands and sashes, all with that glazed desperate look in the eye and a grim air of We Are Having Fun. It's horrific.

[MRex]

Get a top or a dress in a different shade of pink that suits you better, it'll still do for the photos as guaranteed everyone's clothes will be slightly different colours anyway.

[BertrandRussell]

eBay/charity shops are your friends.

[user1484]

I think this dress from Zara is lovely.

[user1484]

Image

[MsTSwift]

Too old for hen nights not been invited on one for years yes it’s abit naff but am jealous I’ll go in your place if you like op love a good all female laugh away from daily drudge and kids

[IvanaPee]

They’re really not the kind of crowd I could rock up in jeans and a primark t shirt in

What does that even mean?!

Better that than wrapping yourself in a fucking pashmina on a night out😂😂😂

It’s nothing to do with being a sheep and everything to do with spending less than a tenner and not making yourself the focal point of someone else’s event. And I’m not talking about colours in photos, I’m talking about you making such a huge deal out of something that’s easily fixed.

Not everything needs to be a crusade, ffs! Not your thing? Fine! But one evening for your future SIL, you can’t just take the gigantic step of wearing a colour you don’t like??

[Chocolateisfab]

How is making an effort for your friend being a sheep?

[leafy22]

Borrow something? Secondhand shop? You can figure it out.

[ShatnersWigIsActuallyAMammoth]

How is making an effort for your friend being a sheep?

But the friend doesn't know anything about it. It's one of the bridesmaids insisting on stuff and the OP has never met them.

The OP says they are already paying out a lot of money on the wedding, stag and hen dos. They're already making an effort. There's a difference between making an effort and having to follow a specific instruction to do something you either can't afford or simply don't want to do. Just because someone is a friend, doesn't mean you have to do everything they want (repeat, in this case, the friend actually knows sod all about this).

[Chewbecca]

Do you want to go to the party and celebrate it?

If you do, suck it up and buy something super cheap to wear. MNers will help you find something if you need help & advise your size, budget & any key features.

If you don't really want to go - make an excuse and don't go.

But don't turn up in the wrong clothes or make a fuss.

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

God almighty, who could hear this sort of request and not automatically think "Oh fuck OFF"

I've said this on here before and I probably sound a total grinch with a giant humbug facial tattoo, but when I rule the word, marriages will be completed in a solicitor's office like writing a will or buying a house. Parties to celebrate afterwards will be permitted with no dress code or poems requesting cash

What the fuck does a bunch of grown women going out dressed in the same colour (under duress!) have to do with getting married to someone - you're acknowledging you love someone and want to spend the rest of your lives together. A party is to celebrate this fact, not your love of pink or your desire to be special in the photos

Despite what this rant (and my user name ) suggests I actually do love pink and wore it to my wedding . I wouldn't dream of enforcing this on others though! DH wore jeans to our wedding and I didn't have a hen party, we are still very happily married a couple of decades later.

The older I get the less tolerance I have for all this demanding self centred wedding bullshit I'm actually only in my 40s (married young) imagine what I'll be like at 80!

[Purplecatshopaholic]

Agree with Chew. Seems very mean spirited to turn up not wearing the colour you were specifically asked to wear - you will stand out like a sore thumb. If you dont want to wear it, just dont go. I would wear the colour - although its defo not for me either - and go and have a fab time - hen parties are supposed to be fun!

[BlueSkiesLies]

Wear nice jeans and just get a tshirt in this colour. No one will know if a tshirt is primark or posh.

[spanishwife]

Ahh I would just do it OP. It's one day, the bride will love it. You can easily find something in a cheap shop. Don't mix it with denim or black though, the point is that it's all one colour.