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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was Waitrose being U?

285 replies

Settlethewreckage · 02/04/2019 20:09

Just returned from Waitrose after having been refused a bottle of wine. DH (30) and I (27) wanted to celebrate our wedding anniversary by buying a fancy bottle of wine, so we went to Waitrose and picked one (along with some other stuff). At the till DH gets asked for ID, no problem. Cashier then asks me for mine, which I didn't have on me. So now we can't have this bottle of wine, because he can't confirm my age.

I'm angry. The manager said it made sense to ask us both as we 'look a similar age'. Yet they know DH is 30! To make matters worse, DH is now not able to buy alcohol at that store today and tomorrow because 'they know we are together'.

AIBU to think that this was ridiculous? Yes, I could have gone and fetched my ID from home, but by then I was already fuming, so I left the stuff and went to Sainsbury's.

OP posts:
Loyaultemelie · 02/04/2019 22:51

I got ID'd once in Tesco buying a bottle of expensive whiskey for Dh's Birthday. I was 34 and had a splitting migraine. When he saw the ID he then proceeded to basically accuse me of being an alcoholic (I presume he thought I looked hungover) The manager was unimpressed and I left the whiskey and went to Sainsbury's next day.

I wonder what age you have to be to buy a trowel AJP?

Howdidthisbecomemylife · 02/04/2019 22:54

Tricia - this is just the sort of bollock scaremongering tactics I was talking about. If you have excercised due diligence you are fine, no you won’t be sent to prison if a mum decides to let her drink the bottle of wine she purchased with her weekly shop! If you witnessed a very clear case of an adult buying alcohol for a minor then you should act but even then it would be very difficult for them to prove you were negligent in that instance. You can calm down.

Mummyto2munchkins · 02/04/2019 22:55

DP is 39 and was Id'd for a bottle of energy drink the other day...

We've also been Id'd for wine, I have 2 bags (survival kit as we call it with spare clothes nappies etc for the baby/clothes for toddler - and my handbag for short visits) they asked us both for I'd. Partner handed his over, and they never asked for mine then! Suppose we was lucky that round,

Userplusnumbers · 02/04/2019 22:57

I remember (going back a few years now, before they raised the age to 18) having a bit of a standoff with an assistant in the petrol station when trying to buy cigarettes - I'd popped out, to fill the car up - so they'd watched me drive up, authorised the petrol, but then asked me for ID. I asked if they really thought I might be 15, and if so, we're they really going to let me get back in the car and drive off. V tense, but then again, I did have a baby face!

Similarly, the challenge 25 thing leads to this, look under 25 so get asked for ID so it becomes a case of 'this 32 year old looks like they could be 24 so I can't serve them' not 'this 32 year old looks like they might be 17'

I manage to avoid this now by keeping driving licence in my wallet!

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/04/2019 22:58

and trust me it is really difficult to tell who might be 25 and who is 30 .
But it’s irrelevant if they are 25 or 30! It’s only challenge 25 because it’s harder to look 25 than 18.

TriciaH87 · 02/04/2019 22:58

Those saying 30 is over kill as their acting like 25 is legsl requirement their not. If at 23 you looked under 18 in my eyes odds are at 30 I will think you look under 25 so will still ask. If you come through my till daily or even once a week and chat so you stand out to me i will probably remember knowing i have asked several times before and knowing i have confirmed your over 25 even if you still look younger means i stop asking.

TriciaH87 · 02/04/2019 23:01

If they look under 25 the policy is you ask them to prove it so if at 30 you look under 25 your getting asked. My job is worth more to me than your inconvenience for getting your ID out.

NicoAndTheNiners · 02/04/2019 23:05

I got ID'd for fresh chicken in Tesco two years ago. I was in my 40s.

It was a manned checkout not self service so the sales assistant was perfectly aware it was chicken. Till beeped and came up with an age restricted item message and she actually asked if I had ID.

I was like seriously! You're actually going to ask me for ID for chicken, wasn't even whisky smoked chicken or anything! Never mind the fact I'm in my 40s.

Thankfully she saw sense and clicked ok!

NChangeForNoReason · 02/04/2019 23:14

I'm 37 and last week went to Morrisons and Purchased a bottle of red wine (with a gift bag)for my mums birthday, along with a "happy birthday Mum" card.

I'm also 39w pregnant but was still ID'd - didn't know whether to laugh or cry!!!

Pinkbells · 02/04/2019 23:16

I was refused a bottle of wine at Waitrose at 44, until the (clearly blind as a bat) cashier saw sense. When you can drink legally at 18 it’s ridiculous. But silver lining at all that... its nice if you’re youthful but it’s worse when they hardly glance at you and just press the override button on the till and hand you your wine...

Pinkbells · 02/04/2019 23:17

The actual fuck chicken is age restricted????

NicoAndTheNiners · 02/04/2019 23:18

I assume the chicken barcode had been incorrectly flagged.

PutOnYourDamnSocks · 02/04/2019 23:20

I get id’d a lot, I’m 42 - I look 42. I reckon it’s because i’m short and my hair isn’t dyed and not grey.

They are only doing their job, i’ve always been polite though occasionally gone round again and gone to a different till.

Only every got snarky when i’ve have my children with me (age 12 calls me mum). Not being able to guess my age is one thing, calling precocious is a whole other ball age.

Brilliantidiot · 02/04/2019 23:23

These threads always make me wonder how some people who blame the shop/bar staff would react if someone went into their place of work and kicked off at them for following their company policies and the law in relation to their own job - especially if they also thought they were ridiculous.
Most people responsible for selling alcohol think some of the policies and laws are ridiculous, I certainly do, but that doesn't mean I can break them without facing the concequences.

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/04/2019 23:24

Idiots.

Meandwinealone · 02/04/2019 23:32

Imagine losing your shit paid job because you didn’t ere on the side of caution

You’re being told daily that the secret shoppers will come at you with varying scenarios.

Do you really think people give two fucks about how you feel, or their job.

I mean it’s annoying. But it’s not life ending,

DogInATent · 02/04/2019 23:33

To make matters worse, DH is now not able to buy alcohol at that store today and tomorrow because 'they know we are together'

At the risk of pointing out the blindingly obvious solution, he's only barred from buying it on his own in case you're underage. If you go with him and both have ID with you, then there's no problem. Or if you go and buy it on your own with ID, likewise no problem.

bringmelaughter · 02/04/2019 23:38

Even worse than all these stories, I went to Waitrose today, bought red wine, they didn’t even look twice let alone ask for ID. I’m 41 :(

Melroses · 02/04/2019 23:39

I have always looked young for my age. I once had to argue to pay full fare on the bus.

I got asked if I wanted an over 50s card in Boots when I was 42. Blush I said no, but she said are you sure - and kept on like a fecking Mrs Doyle Hmm Nothing like rubbing it in.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 02/04/2019 23:40

DM was away at a work conference and after dinner they went to a cocktail bar, they wouldn't let her in as she wasn't carrying ID, she's sixty later this year and I love her, but she looks it. She did she wasn't bothered as it gave her an excuse to go back to the hotel and have a bath! I also got ID'd in Asda for cook's matches about a year ago.
What I don't understand is that if I buy a bottle of wine with my weekly shop, am I not allowed to buy it if I have DS with me as he is underage?

Itssosunny · 02/04/2019 23:45

Just bring your ID tomorrow and be happy you look so young Wink

viccat · 02/04/2019 23:55

The Ocado delivery guy made me go and get my ID before handing me my shopping a couple of weeks ago because I had ordered a pair of craft scissors. Confused I'm 36 and it just seemed ridiculous when I've been an Ocado customer for 10 years and don't exactly look like a teenager...

RainbowMum11 · 03/04/2019 00:14

Morrisons id'd me once for a bottle of wine within the weekly shop - didn't have driving licence on me so couldn't buy it - fair enough; they then couldn't sell me the Be is Blue (no alcohol beer) either as that is age tied too!
I was frustrated but also quite complimented as I was 33 at the time with no make up on, in my lunch hour at work!!!

TheWaiting · 03/04/2019 00:18

Can someone who works in a supermarket please explain the teenager thing. I always shop on a Friday eve after picking DS1 up from school. He’s 15 and usually in his school sports kit. I have been refused the bottle of wine in my £200 weekly shop 3 times. There doesn’t ever seem to be anything special or unusual about the times I’ve been refused as he looks the same and he’s helping me pack each time. Do some cashiers just refuse anyone with a teenager? I’m trying to understand what suggests I’m buying the wine for him. Is it just because he’s with me? And why aren’t they stopping me each time?

I understand the concept of proxy buying but do some cashiers just assume having a teenager with me means the wine is for him or are we doing something else to arouse suspicion? I’m not going to leave him in the car. The shop takes a good hour and it’s a nice catch up time for us before heading home to the chaos of his younger siblings.

LikeDolphinsCanSwim · 03/04/2019 00:30

What happens if you you buy alcohol in shopping that is delivered? Do they refuse to leave it if you have a child in the house? Do they look around to check?

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