Was Waitrose being U?

[Settlethewreckage]

Just returned from Waitrose after having been refused a bottle of wine. DH (30) and I (27) wanted to celebrate our wedding anniversary by buying a fancy bottle of wine, so we went to Waitrose and picked one (along with some other stuff). At the till DH gets asked for ID, no problem. Cashier then asks me for mine, which I didn't have on me. So now we can't have this bottle of wine, because he can't confirm my age.

I'm angry. The manager said it made sense to ask us both as we 'look a similar age'. Yet they know DH is 30! To make matters worse, DH is now not able to buy alcohol at that store today and tomorrow because 'they know we are together'.

AIBU to think that this was ridiculous? Yes, I could have gone and fetched my ID from home, but by then I was already fuming, so I left the stuff and went to Sainsbury's.

Does he have facial hair? No, he's 5 foot, 6 stone and looks 12! He's had no problem buying tickets to a 12A when going to the the cinema with a friend though.

You can get cards called Prove It cards (or Young Scot in Scotland). Do you know which one is for children or teens in England? Validate UK say all ages then mentions 18+ in the FAQ .

There's a PASS card too.

What about a B_Line card? Unless those are regional. You can get the first one free I think.

What makes it blatant though?

Child - Can you buy me this cider mum, here is the money?
Mum walks to checkout
Cashier - Is this intended for anyone under 18?
Mum - No
Cashier then either has to sell the alcohol or call the customer a liar.

Sell the alcohol and the person buying it can actually take responsibility for what they are doing. What's so wrong with the people who break the law being held to account? Why must it fall to the shop assistant to take the rap?
Or yes, say that you heard/witnessed the encounter, and the alcohol is intended for someone under 18 so refuse the sale. Again, why shouldn't the customer take responsibility for that? For the fact they are lying?
Personally I'd favour the second option.
But that's a pretty black and white example, it's rarely as straightforward as that, and that's why some people get caught up in it when they're doing nothing wrong.

I've just spoken to my DD about this, and the parents of some of the kids she goes to school with go to the supermarket on a Friday while the kids are at school and buy their 'booze list' for their 'sesh'.
So how the hell do you stop that? A signed disclaimer from every customer purchasing alcohol and follow ups from the police?
We have a wierd attitude to alcohol, just about everyone gets utterly inscenced at any denial to buy it at all, for any reason, I don't get it, it's not an essential of life, you're not going to suffer in any major way from not having a glass of rioja with your dinner.

The problem is it's all gone too far the other way now.

I'm mid 30s and occasionally get asked for ID (usually around Christmas/new year time) and I show it of course. I have found in the last few years though, particularly as I've hit my 30s, cashiers almost look apologetic for asking when they realise I was born in the early to mid 80s as opposed to the late 90s/very early 2000s.

It shows though that common sense has gone out the window and in has flown a massive fear of being caught selling to an underage person, hence the cashier asking everyone.

If I just happen to be someone who looks a decade younger than I am who then just might be 8 years younger than that then that's fine but I cannot imagine many people are in that position looks wise.

Note to those who set these rules; when I was underage (ie 15/16,) when we wanted alcohol we would always send someone older into the shop who was over 18 with ID to buy our booze. If you are underage and want to drink you will find a way. Asking 30 plus year olds ID for their bottle of wine they are buying to go with dinner isn't going to stop underage people drinking.

I would love to know if underage drinking has gotten less since this "Think 25" policy came into force?

There's a PASS card too. Thanks, I've found one for under 18's now.
What about a B_Line card? Unless those are regional. You can get the first one free I think. Google is coming up with Derbyshire. Guess I will have to pay £15 so he can prove his age then! Most of his friends are already 13 and look older, he looks like a kid.

I got ID'd for buy Pawsecco for my pets at Christmas

Does that count as a proxy sale? 😁

I got ID'd for buy Pawsecco for my pets at Christmas sad

[shocked}

Sell the alcohol and the person buying it can actually take responsibility for what they are doing.

How? They buy the alcohol and disappear with no consequences. Unless you think the police should be called every time this happens?

Or yes, say that you heard/witnessed the encounter, and the alcohol is intended for someone under 18 so refuse the sale.

So I would essentially be calling the customer a liar and practically ensuring that some of them will argue with me.

So how the hell do you stop that? A signed disclaimer from every customer purchasing alcohol and follow ups from the police?

You can't. BUT the cashier would be unaware and therefore in no danger of getting into trouble. Although if I knew for sure then I'd be reporting the parents. That is how kids end up in A&E with alcohol poisoning.

How? They buy the alcohol and disappear with no consequences. Unless you think the police should be called every time this happens?

When the recipient ends up in a&e, or the police remove it from them in a park, and ask where they got it from. I still don't think the server should be at risk of large fines and imprisonment, or shit from customers as demonstrated on here.

So I would essentially be calling the customer a liar and practically ensuring that some of them will argue with me.

Some argue now, just for being asked for ID, or refused a sale. As this thread demonstrates. That's my point, doesn't matter does it, selling alcohol is going to get you hassle one way or another, I'd rather it wasn't in the form of a criminal record so that entitled Elaine can have her nightly glass of Chardonnay.
No one's going to die from not having a nice whiskey after dinner.

You can't. BUT the cashier would be unaware and therefore in no danger of getting into trouble. Although if I knew for sure then I'd be reporting the parents. That is how kids end up in A&E with alcohol poisoning.

No the cashier won't be in trouble, however it goes to show that people are catching on to the fact some places won't sell with teens in tow. But they're getting alcohol anyway.
So that's where most of the problem lies. Start fining parents whose kids end up part of anti social behaviour or in a&e, instead of expecting the general public, and the ever so slightly trained in licensing laws, general public, to interpret confusing, conflicting and over the top laws and policies, and base this on guess work, and then say btw, get it wrong (and that just means if someone has a different perspective to you) you can have anything from a slap on the wrist to a prison sentence, and be cautious and get attitude, threats and called all sorts from customers.