Was Waitrose being U?

[Settlethewreckage]

Just returned from Waitrose after having been refused a bottle of wine. DH (30) and I (27) wanted to celebrate our wedding anniversary by buying a fancy bottle of wine, so we went to Waitrose and picked one (along with some other stuff). At the till DH gets asked for ID, no problem. Cashier then asks me for mine, which I didn't have on me. So now we can't have this bottle of wine, because he can't confirm my age.

I'm angry. The manager said it made sense to ask us both as we 'look a similar age'. Yet they know DH is 30! To make matters worse, DH is now not able to buy alcohol at that store today and tomorrow because 'they know we are together'.

AIBU to think that this was ridiculous? Yes, I could have gone and fetched my ID from home, but by then I was already fuming, so I left the stuff and went to Sainsbury's.

Gisel, I genuinely can't. Everyone under 30 looks 12 to me hut I'm old

I live in hope of getting asked to prove my age.....it won't happen

New Mexico ID's everyone, we're in our 70s, quite puzzling but it's the law.

If they refused to serve me alcohol with dd in tow, I'd probably disown her.

Thing is you can be as fuming as you like about it. It's not going to change any time soon.
The government identified a problem with drink in this country, and more specifically, underage drinking. So, instead of actually doing something about it properly, they changed the laws surrounding licensing and piled all the onus on the people selling it at the point of sale, as well as the license holder.
They've put the fear of being sacked, and therefore unlikely to be employed by any other licensed premises, up to £20 grand fines and 6 months in prison into shop assistants and bar staff.
You can also be reported if it's witnessed by a member of the public, or a member of the council's licensing team off duty, if you don't challenge someone who appears to be under 21 or 25 (depending on the challenge scheme) you're then under the spotlight, and can be investigated - and conditions added to licenses.
There's big pressure for those selling alcohol to prove they're being responsible, and to get and keep a license you must show you run one of the approved challenge schemes - and by prove I mean record each challenge in a ledger and produce it on demand. So while the legal age to purchase alcohol is 18, anyone selling it, in order to get a license must be running a challenge scheme. No ID, no sale.
I've been called all sorts, threatened that they're going to wait after my shift and do me over, told I'm on a power trip and once, physically assaulted for refusing to serve with no ID, to someone who appeared under 25. Do you honestly think those of us in jobs like shops and pubs want to deal with that? I don't want to be responsible for someone else's drinking, but the law tells me if I'm not then I'll face life altering concequences. I doubt anyone I've refused either rightly or wrongly would be stood next to me in court helping my defense if it came down to it.
I don't understand why people get so 'fuming' about being refused alcohol, be it because of lack of ID, after license time, or because they're already clearly drunk. The law says sellers must do certain things to sell alcohol, and there's little wriggle room. I'm not even sure if a server would have plausible deniability any more (if they were told to serve regardless by a senior member of staff) so companies that hold a license would much rather lose some custom, than their license. And I'd much rather be called whatever than face prison.
I agree that some company policies are very strong, but I believe (may be wrong) that each premises has to have an individual license and a DPS (designated premises supervisor) and they're at risk of fines too, even if they're not there because they are the person ultimately responsible. So policies probably vary from store to store depending on the DPS in each store, their take on the laws and overall company policies.
I've done a personal license holders course, and they impress on you deeply the ways you can break the law, and what the penalties are. There's no room to use common sense, it's simply not a defence.

'Apologies officer, but this child has been following me around the shop for 45 minutes - no idea who she is.'

Then I'd race off with my bottle of wine, shouty whispering to dd 'get in the car' and make off like Bonnie and Clyde.

I don't sound like a Waitrose Mum really, do I?

I often buy wine with weekly —and top up— shop with DD in tow in Waitrose have never been refused wine because of her!

They don't always use people 18 and under for test purchases, I know someone who didn't ID a test purchaser because he looked over 25 (he was) and got in trouble for it, even thought the test purchaser got the shop assistants age wrong (get him by 10 years).
You can be pissed off about it all you want, it is not nice for the shop assistant either, do you really think we want verbal abuse because you can't buy alcohol? No we don't it can be bloody frightening sometimes, I have even had to go to the back and cry before now due to how nasty the person got because I wouldn't serve them as they had no ID, the problem is if we don't ID and we did get caught it isn't just a fine you could be facing (which is £5,000 by the way) and that fine isn't just a fine for the shop, but a personal fine to the seller, you could be sacked and even face prison, it just isn't worth it.
In regards to with kids, it is personal judgement, also it the person underage has touched the alcohol at all, that includes carrying a basket with it in to the till, they can't carry it out of the shop either, or same consequences, personal fine, sacked and the possibility of going to prison. Just take you ID with you.
That said never heard of the 48 hour rule before, where I work it is only that night.

Of course Waitrose exists in London?? Definitely in SW and Central 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gisel , you could possibly sound a bit more patronising if you tried but I'm not sure how . Try sitting at a checkout for eight hours , relentless queues with nowhere near enough staff , knowing you may be test checked by the store , the police or trading standards and if you make a mistake and don't get the customer's age right you will lose your job and possibly have a criminal record , making it almost impossible to get another job . All for the minimum wage .
Oh and I'm not a kid , I'm 60 .

Well we all know what not to do if we are burying drink for the underage now.

I think every time someone buys alcohol in Waitrose someone should go check there isn’t a group of thirsty looking teenagers hanging around outdoors waiting for them.

I was refused in there when I had my 15 year old son with me. They told me they did not belive I was his mum as I looked too young, so it was therefore impossible unless I had him when I was 10. I was 34 at the time. I had on jeans and a hoddie. No ID on me so no wine for me!

The following day, I stopped in after work, had ID on me this time, and the women at the checkout was the same women- she didn’t ask me. So I did challenge her. She told me that I didn’t look anything like I did the day before, and I looked old enough today. That day I had my hair and make up done, and I was wearing a suit as I’d just had a managers meeting. So I got my wine without ID.

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I would like to think common sense would be used, but I was refused in Waitrose due to lack of ID. I'm 38, I was buying a bottle of lemon essence for a cake. Unfortunately the essence was in alcohol. I did try to explain that if i had wished to get drunk 35ml of lemon essence would not be the most effective approach...

@FlopsyMopsyRabbit so are parents expected to always have a babysitter when buying alcohol in the weekly shop for example? (serious question).

I got IDed once when I had my sister in tow, no problem, I used to look young. Handed over my ID to be told at that point they couldn't serve me because I had my sister with me and might've been giving it to her. She was about 11 at the time. I argued it because if that was the issue why ask for my ID? Surely it didn't matter if I was 20 or 200, the problem was they suspected me of buying it for a minor. They let me buy it after i got loud (not shouting!).

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners
DS said afterwards that I would have to wait in the car next time!

This made me laugh!

Im going to be the unpopular opinion here but why do people get so offended by being asked for their ID??? You are purchasing age restricted items, of course shops need to cover their backs! Its the law! Challenge 25 is just the safest way to ensure it happens. Ridiculous to see grown adults tutting and eye rolling at being asked for ID.

Now, i agree that the OPs dh being banned for 24 hours from buying wine is unnecessary. Also i agree that its ridiculous that shops dont sell to parents with their kids present. Utter stupidity.

I get the whole if you look under 25 thing, even where it might seem daft. The being with someone else who doesn't have ID thing though? Not so much. That's pretty daft.

I would like to think common sense would be used, but I was refused in Waitrose due to lack of ID. I'm 38, I was buying a bottle of lemon essence for a cake. Unfortunately the essence was in alcohol.

And therefore will have been on the till as age restricted and the shop assistant will have had to do the check because till has told them to. They could have all the common sense in the world, tills don't, and get caught navigating round the till prompted checks and you're in deep shit.
I'd love to actually be treated like an adult and allowed to use common sense, unfortunately I'm not. It sucks for all concerned.

Nanny state as usual.

I work for sainsburys. Our think 25 policy means if i have reason to believe that alcohol is to be consumed by more than one person present to apply the policy to all that i feel look under 25. If one person is not old enough or had no ID I must refuse the sale. If that sale went ahead without seeing your ID and you were under age its called a proxy sale. For allowing that purchase I face two years in prison, an unlimited fine, losing my job and the store losing its license to trade alcohol losing my coleagues their job. It is not a risk worth taking for me. Once i have asked i have to follow through. I have had people ask if they can show me a photo of their ID on their phone but I do not know its not photo shoped. At 31 I still get asked. In my local tesco they asked me only last week. I had to drive home to get it as only had my bank card as use the shop regularly when work has closed. The person is doing their job and avoiding prison. Too many people try to purchase underage they cannot risk it.

just in case he buys me some in secret and I rock up with a bottle of red to neck with my 16 year old mates in the park...

Nowt like sniffing glue and necking a bottle of Chateau Margaux 1787 behind the bandstand . . .

Challenge 25 is to provide a buffer, some 17 year olds may be able to pass for as old as 25, however it has become absolutely ludicrous now with it being almost confused as the new legal age, you don’t need to provide ID to confirm you are 25 but 18, it shouldn’t be a case of ‘maybe they are 30 they could be 25, I’m not sure I’d better ask for ID’ if the cashier can resonably say the customer looked clearly 25 or older then they are operating within the policy guidelines. Retailers are being totally over the top and scaremongering their employees.

I got checked for my I'd in November ish, I was buying a craft ale gift set. I went off like a loon. I turned to my daughter who looks more 14 than 11, and said, this is my daughter, how could I ever be under 18? Or 25 for that Matter? I'm 28 for goodness sake. They called a manager, then another came along. The 3rd one who came by said he believed I was of age, and took me to a nearby till to serve me, where we joked about it not really being the right sort of drink for teens to drink in the park.

Funnily I very rarely get checked, must be looking haggard!