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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was Waitrose being U?

285 replies

Settlethewreckage · 02/04/2019 20:09

Just returned from Waitrose after having been refused a bottle of wine. DH (30) and I (27) wanted to celebrate our wedding anniversary by buying a fancy bottle of wine, so we went to Waitrose and picked one (along with some other stuff). At the till DH gets asked for ID, no problem. Cashier then asks me for mine, which I didn't have on me. So now we can't have this bottle of wine, because he can't confirm my age.

I'm angry. The manager said it made sense to ask us both as we 'look a similar age'. Yet they know DH is 30! To make matters worse, DH is now not able to buy alcohol at that store today and tomorrow because 'they know we are together'.

AIBU to think that this was ridiculous? Yes, I could have gone and fetched my ID from home, but by then I was already fuming, so I left the stuff and went to Sainsbury's.

OP posts:
Original poster
Settlethewreckage · 02/04/2019 20:37

@saraclara exactly. But now he's barred from buying alcohol for 24 hours just in case he buys me some in secret and I rock up with a bottle of red to neck with my 16 year old mates in the park...

OP posts:
RB68 · 02/04/2019 20:39

Solution go back with your id

I have always carried drivers license due to work requirements but the whole id and control thing is getting out of order. Having said that alcohol abuse is also out of order and needs sorting - the pressure on nhs from it is ridiculous. We go on about buying your own paracetamol but actually if we all drank less and didn't get ratfaced between age of 20 and 40 we would save millions.

Not that a bottle of something to celebrate wedding anniversary comes in that category to be honest

neveradullmoment99 · 02/04/2019 20:41

what @Raspberry said has happened to my 20+ ds who was back for a visit and at the supermarket with my dh. They said they couldn't sell it cause my dh could be buying it for him?? Ridiculous!

fblake · 02/04/2019 20:41

I'd be fuming too ☹️. I've been asked for ID in Waitrose - I'm 38 and couldn't believe it.

@AJPTaylor that's taking it to a whole other level! 65! Seriously! Confused

thefinn · 02/04/2019 20:42

This happened to me also once on my 28th birthday no less. At first I was angry cos dh had ID and it is obvious we are similar age, but very soon I thought great that they reckon I look so young and more importantly don't sell alcohol to minors. It sounds OTT and stupid but take it as a compliment and happy anniversary!

fblake · 02/04/2019 20:43

Apologies 63 not 65.

lachenalia · 02/04/2019 20:43

I work at Waitrose and we are trained on Challenge 25 and to understand the draconian penalties if we get it wrong and sell to someone underage . The "just use common sense" idea is nice but it could also mean we end up sacked ,fined and with a criminal record so sorry but we have to carry on asking for ID , and trust me it is really difficult to tell who might be 25 and who is 30 .

pastabest · 02/04/2019 20:43

Has he actually been told he can't go back for 24 hours or are you just being dramatic?

If he went in an hour later they probably wouldn't remember him any way and if you both went in with ID they would have no reason to refuse again.

stucknoue · 02/04/2019 20:46

I've bought alcohol with my teenage DD's and never have been questioned, even when dd2 told the cashier the cider was for her (she was 16 at the time)

XingMing · 02/04/2019 20:47

|t is bonkers. In my late 50s, I don't get proofed anymore (the wrinkles help) but with DS on hand to catch and carry, they want to establish I'm not buying for him. How can this be enforced outside their perimeter is beyond me Hmm.

FlopsyMopsyRabbit · 02/04/2019 20:47

I work in a supermarket and if you look under 25 I'd have to ID you and your partner/anyone you're with. If one of you didn't have ID I wouldn't be allowed to sell it.

They regularly send mystery shoppers to see if you follow the rules and if you don't you can receive a fine, my manager could receive a fine as could the company, the store could lose their alcohol license and disciplinary action would 100% be taken against me.

YANBU to be annoyed by it but they were only doing their job.

GuineaPiglet345 · 02/04/2019 20:48

This happened to us, I was heavily pregnant and DH was buying some wanky hipster craft ales, I went and sat in the car and he walked back around the shop to a different cashier. It’s ridiculous, they may as well not sell alcohol to anyone in case they give it to a minor when they get home!

Isitteayourlookingfor · 02/04/2019 20:48

As a pp said why don’t you go back with your id?

TheHobbitMum · 02/04/2019 20:48

The law is ridiculously strict and the fines are astronomical, its just not worth risking their jobs over either. Carry ID in future as most shops operate challenge 25 policy and if one thinks you are close to 25 then other may too

QOD · 02/04/2019 20:48

I’ve started telling dd to go to the car ahead of me if we shop together as she’s 20 and too lazy to take her ID anywhere.

MrsFogi · 02/04/2019 20:49

I live in hope of getting asked to prove my age.....it won't happen.

TheHobbitMum · 02/04/2019 20:51

At the shop I work at we have the police, trading standards plus head office purposely sending people who look younger than they are to make sure the policy is kept too.

MrsFrankDrebin · 02/04/2019 20:52

There is no consistency with this in any UK-based supermarket! I live somewhere (not on the UK mainland) where the 'Think 25' thing isn't strictly enforced, but even so both my DC who are under 25, but over 21, carry ID whenever we are shopping for alcohol locally (but never asked for it).

Because of this, they also regularly prepare to be asked for ID when were are on the UK mainland visiting family, especially when we are buying from from the 'main UK supermarket retailers'... except they never are! They are given a cursory 'look' and that is it!

The irony is, that my my Godchild works for a mainland UK supermarket, and she is super-aware of asking for ID, even for friends the same age as her (she's in her early 20s) who also went to school with her because she knows she'd be penalised personally if she sold any alcohol to anyone who is under 25.

The whole system is messed up. If the law says "18 to drink/consume alcohol legally" then that should be the same in shops. Any shops. If there's a problem with drinking among the under-25s (one of mine is tee-total, the other loves a G&T, so no consistency, even within one family) then that needs to be addressed in some other way.

27 and 30 year olds shouldn't be challenged, but I do understand from my Godchild that it's really hard to judge ages sometimes... but it's a lot easier to judge an 18 year old (the legal age for alcohol) than a 25 year old (the nominal age for asking for ID).

hammeringinmyhead · 02/04/2019 20:53

It is ridiculous when it's a parent and child. Nobody asks my baby for ID. When should they start? 5? 10? 12?

jamiecooks · 02/04/2019 20:54

I tend to get asked for ID if I’m in my gym stuff - I’m 40 - it should be flattering but I find it annoying now. I don’t get asked when I have my baby with me though, which I find odd

NotAChanceOfQuiet · 02/04/2019 20:54

My friend had this when he was shopping with his daughter. She is 12.
The manager just wouldn’t listen to reason and kept saying that he couldn’t sell it because Df might give his Dd some

Well, that's especially stupid because there is no law about giving a child over 5 alcohol.

I stopped being asked for ID at 22, so I suppose I must have had a hard life

WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream · 02/04/2019 20:54

I'm 36 and got asked for ID when buying wine in Asda. I was buzzing all day Grin

Mum2jenny · 02/04/2019 20:55

It's similar if you want to stick up on painkillers. You can only buy 2 packs at the checkout.
If I'm with my dh and we need to get some, we tend to go through separate checkouts....we are very lazy and only remember to get painkillers when we are out of them. One pack for my car, one pack for his and two for the house.

Mum2jenny · 02/04/2019 20:56

Sorry, stock up

Serin · 02/04/2019 20:57

I frequently buy alcohol when I'm with teenagers DS's and they have never been asked for ID. I didn't even know his was a thing.
Happy Anniversary OPFlowers

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