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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Where is this £60?

195 replies

SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 12:19

My just turned 8 year old DS got a little blue wallet a few months ago from a museum giftshop. I gave him a £5 note to put into it as he'd never had any 'paper money'. He then got around £25 in money at Christmas and at his birthday 1 week ago got a further £30. After the last sum I was aware that it was mounting up and made a mental note to take it and put it in his bank account. Today it is missing.

To recap, he had the wallet with his saved £60 in it a week ago. He swears blind it was on his drawers in his bedroom. I haven't seen it elsewhere in the house despite the fact I've been doing lots of tidying in preparation for some decorating. I have just turned his bedroom upside down looking... Looked in every drawer, cupboard, behind drawers, even inside all pockets, under the rug, under his mattress, everywhere.

In the last 3 hours I have searched the entire house, even down the sides of sofas and under furniture.

The only other people who came are 2 cleaners who were here on Wednesday. I don't want to point the finger but if it was in his room and now isn't, would it be unreasonable for me to at least contact the cleaning company and ask if they'd seen it? Or do I have to chalk it up to experience and write it off?

OP posts:
BlueSaphire · 02/04/2019 14:30

Casually leaving money around to test if the cleaners would take it has been suggested by me and several others.
No response to that idea from the OP?

thegreylady · 02/04/2019 14:38

The cleaners could have tidied it away. Just ask if they noticed a little blue wallet and put it somewhere safe. Don’t mention the content to them.

saffy1234 · 02/04/2019 14:39

Hi @SpoilsburyToastGirl the revelation about the money box has turned my suspicion to the cleaners unfortunately.I had a similar situation but with an ex friend of mine ,i caught her in the end by leaving a pile of change on the side popping to the shoos leaving her there,when i returned the money was £5 lighter.She wasn't even bad off,i think it was more greed/thrill.Some people just pinch because the can,not because they are desperate.You would notice and 8yo randomly spending.Sorry this has happened to you.

SudoWouldnt · 02/04/2019 14:42

I'd put a camera up and a "test" without mentioning anything. That way you'll have no doubt either way.

saffy1234 · 02/04/2019 14:42

As meatloaf woukd say @AcrossthePond55 you took the words right outta my mouth,you may not be the only victim.
Also check your jewellery,dvds etc x

ittakes2 · 02/04/2019 14:45

As your cleaners if they have seen it - they might have seen it lying around and put it somewhere for safe keeping.

Reallyevilmuffin · 02/04/2019 14:45

I think if you have reasonably checked all over the house I would blame the cleaners. The bottom line is if you are unsure whether they have taken something like this then what else of greater value will you be uncomfortable leaving around them? And now more potentially things missing... You need to be able to trust a cleaner implicitly

Reallyevilmuffin · 02/04/2019 14:47

You might be able to catch them asking about it saying there was £10 in it. If they feel they can get 50 with no risk by replacing it and £10 and it suddenly reappears...

HollowTalk · 02/04/2019 14:51

I think now you've mentioned the piggy bank it's obvious it's one of the cleaners. That's really awful. I would have to let them go and explain why.

Tavannach · 02/04/2019 14:58

Yes, if money's also missing from the money box it may well be one of the cleaners. Do as pp did and leave some money, not hidden but not obvious, and see if it disappears.

NerdyBird · 02/04/2019 15:01

Could you say to the cleaners, oh DS has lost his wallet, if you come across it somewhere odd please leave it on the kitchen table (or wherever) and see if it magically turns up? Don't mention the money, or as PP says, say it has £10 in.

TeenTimesTwo · 02/04/2019 15:01

The following day apart from school he was with me, the Thursday he goes to grandparents after school, the Friday to afterschool club. On Saturday he was playing football, Sunday at swimming.

The piggy bank changes things, but otherwise check

  • grandparents house
  • after school club lost property
  • football boots / kit bag
  • swimming bag

If you never give him opportunity to spend money, there is no point giving him money in the first place. They only learn the value of money if they get to spend it, weigh up what they value more etc.

SosigDog · 02/04/2019 15:05

A thief is unlikely to take cash from a wallet as it arouses suspicion when the empty wallet is found. Much better to take the entire thing and ditch the empty wallet. If DS had spent the money somehow he’d still have the wallet. The fact that the whole thing is gone means it’s either lost or stolen. I’d suspect the cleaners now that you know the money box has been raided too.

Confusedbeetle · 02/04/2019 15:05

This is all a bit ridiculous. Learn the lesson, write it off and move on.

SuchAToDo · 02/04/2019 15:06

Check under his mattress, under his bed...could it have slipped and fallen under furniture, behind furniture, between two pieces of furniture...

You really need to pull everything out so you know for sure it's not there

HollowTalk · 02/04/2019 15:06

And keep the cleaners, @confusedbeetle?

NarcissistMum · 02/04/2019 15:08

Yes, I agree with PP's who said leave some random coins around.Maybe on the sofa behind a cushion where they could have fallen from someone's pocket...

SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 15:22

I don't know why, but I feel really uncomfortable setting 'bait' to see if it's taken but I don't really know how else to rule them out, apart from obviously if it's found.

@confusedbeetle I don't really think it is ridiculous. If he's lost it or taken it out of the home then that's one thing. If my cleaner is a thief that is quite serious I would say. I have some jewelry at home, a watch I inherited, and have money at home from my business. I can afford to write off £60, even if it is upsetting to have lost my sons birthday money, but I can't accept money or other valuables being taken from my home.

OP posts:
Loopylou6 · 02/04/2019 15:23

The money box thing is making me think it's the cleaners

TildaKauskumholm · 02/04/2019 15:33

Agree with PP that you should casually ask the cleaner if they have seen his wallet, describe it but don't mention the money.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/04/2019 15:41

I feel really uncomfortable setting 'bait' to see if it's taken

Any more uncomfortable than thinking you might be having money stolen ... ?

We can only offer suggestions and the decision's quite rightly yours, but if you do this and it's not taken, what's been lost? FWIW I can't think of any other way to find out either, but if the alternative's to trust to luck and possibly watch more money disappearing, I know what I'd do

LL83 · 02/04/2019 15:42

The fact the wallet is missing suggests child has taken it out to me, he probably isn't even lying and just genuinely doesn't remember.

Have you never needed change and taken if from the childs piggy bank then bought them something later? Or would dh do this? If window cleaner comes I often borrow from dd and give her it back, or at the shop she will ask for something to value of what I owe her.

JellyBaby666 · 02/04/2019 15:42

Have you tried just casually mentioning it to the cleaners? "DS has lost his blue wallet [insert description of wallet] and I've looked everywhere and can't find it, have you seen it? Can you let me know if you find it?" And go from there.

If you leave the coins out this week and next and nothing goes missing then you haven't accused anyone, however if it vanishes... then you have your answer. As someone else said, its not just your £60, but the £20 from next door, the £5 from the couple down the road, the £15 from the family round the corner... soon mounts up. I hope you find it!

Sculpin · 02/04/2019 15:44

Speaking as someone whose cleaner stole small sums of money (only about £20 each time), I'm afraid that seems the most likely explanation to me.

CharityConundrum · 02/04/2019 15:52

This is all a bit ridiculous. Learn the lesson, write it off and move on.

What lesson? That someone with access to the house is untrustworthy, or that her son is too young to be trusted with money? Because unless there is more evidence to suggest one or the other, that 'lesson' could be implementing entirely unnecessary safeguards for her sensible son and allowing further opportunities for thefts to occur or sacking perfectly pleasant cleaners for a mistake made by her son. Either way, I can understand the OP's urge to get some resolution.

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