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AIBU?

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Original poster

Where is this £60?

195 replies

SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 12:19

My just turned 8 year old DS got a little blue wallet a few months ago from a museum giftshop. I gave him a £5 note to put into it as he'd never had any 'paper money'. He then got around £25 in money at Christmas and at his birthday 1 week ago got a further £30. After the last sum I was aware that it was mounting up and made a mental note to take it and put it in his bank account. Today it is missing.

To recap, he had the wallet with his saved £60 in it a week ago. He swears blind it was on his drawers in his bedroom. I haven't seen it elsewhere in the house despite the fact I've been doing lots of tidying in preparation for some decorating. I have just turned his bedroom upside down looking... Looked in every drawer, cupboard, behind drawers, even inside all pockets, under the rug, under his mattress, everywhere.

In the last 3 hours I have searched the entire house, even down the sides of sofas and under furniture.

The only other people who came are 2 cleaners who were here on Wednesday. I don't want to point the finger but if it was in his room and now isn't, would it be unreasonable for me to at least contact the cleaning company and ask if they'd seen it? Or do I have to chalk it up to experience and write it off?

OP posts:
Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:52

He's not into cards/stickers and I would have noticed if he'd have come home with something of value that he hadn't had before. He's only just 8 so still very much overseen by me and DH.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/04/2019 13:52

part of the (money box) front has come off so really easy to access, it has a mix of coins in it but no denominations bigger than 20p, although I know it had plenty of pound coins and fifties and even £2 coins

Oh hell ... Hmm

Without wanting to make any assumptions I'd say it's definitely time to leave out that "test tray" of coins I mentioned

womandear · 02/04/2019 13:52

Do not accuse the cleaners. It’s far more likely to turn up with your kid having put it somewhere.if they had ‘seen’ it I would assume the cleaners would have put it somewhere for you to see or tell you about it.
I have worked as a cleaner - in hotels mostly - and Incant tell you the number of times the staff were accused of taking money, or jewellery or even makeup - fornit to turn up. Your cleaners are not knocking from you. Your kid has left the money in a toy or down the side of his mattress

M3lon · 02/04/2019 13:53

I totally raided my DD's money box for parking change once...but I did leave an IOU...

I think either the cleaners did take it, or someone at school is blackmailing or threatening him....or he is buying sweets/game cards/pokemon off someone at school

GenericHamster · 02/04/2019 13:53

@TheGrey1houndSpeaks I did use 'I would think' ffs, no need to be so full on with me. On balance, no, I don't think he would take it into school as he asks for permission when he puts a little toy in his bag. Moreover he is always saving up for games. It's not out of the realm of possibility (hence the on balance) but if he told me he'd left it somewhere and face-to-face he seemed truthful, I would (on balance) believe him. Is that good enough for you? Or am I only allowed to have faith in robots?

I was trying to support the OP in saying it's reasonable, based on what she knows of him, to look at outside factors for losing the money.

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:55

I hope so womandear. It annoys me that it's arisen in my head as a possibility simply because they have access. I hope he has just put it somewhere and it'll come to light.

OP posts:
M3lon · 02/04/2019 13:55

is the crack in the piggy bank new, or had it always been easy to access?

Sedona123 · 02/04/2019 13:56

We had a very similar situation a while ago. DS's wallet went missing, and I totally turned the house upside down a couple of times looking for it. I eventually found it at the bottom of his box of football cards. Not somewhere that it had even been kept, but I can only think that he threw it in there when tidying up.

SunnyCoco · 02/04/2019 13:58

He's taken it to school and lost it

I did similar with something at that age cos I wanted to show my friends the 'real gold'

Queenie8 · 02/04/2019 13:58

Lift the mattress off of the bed, and pull the bed out, things can (from experience) get stuck between the mattress and the headboard or the mattress and the bed. Then pull out the bed. Do the same with the chest of drawers, take each drawer out, then move the cabinet. Things get stuck between drawers or slip down the back of the drawer, and it being a slim wallet it will mean the drawers will be able to still open and close.

Also, say a prayer to St Anthony (the patron Saint of lost things!)

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:59

The crack has been there for about 10 months and means we lay it on its side. If it was stood up the money would fall out. I kept meaning to replace it but hadn't got around to it. I figured the money building up was safe enough as, like I say, DS has no opportunity yet to spend money on anything.

OP posts:
bourbonbiccy · 02/04/2019 13:59

I would probably go with the suggestion from @ZippyBungleandGeorge to put it on the cleaners radar and would probably just see how they react, once mentioned.

Hopefully it will turn up as obviously you can't hold your DS accountable (as op has already said )

Bluntness100 · 02/04/2019 14:02

If larger denomination coins have also gone, and it's only the cleaners in the house, then I think I'd think it was one of them, I'm sorry.

troubleswillbeoutofsight · 02/04/2019 14:03

My thoughts are that he’s got over excepted at the thought of having money in a grown up wallet and has sneaked it out while playing. It’s then dropped

troubleswillbeoutofsight · 02/04/2019 14:03

Excited

spanishwife · 02/04/2019 14:06

I would also do the 'test tray' like someone else mentioned. Make it inconspicuous.

Stupid thought but when I was younger I used to hide my money and vouchers under my mattress because I saw it in a film. Worth a look? He may have put the coins into his wallet?

AcrossthePond55 · 02/04/2019 14:10

You say it's 'not worth' one of the cleaners losing their job for £60. But if it IS them, it's NOT just £60. Because if they are stealing, they're not just doing it in your house. £60 from your son, £10 from another, £20 from another, etc and it can add up to a tidy sum over a week or two, can't it? And if no one reports any of it, then they've got a nice little racket going. Chances are that one report isn't going to result in a sacking, but if one of the cleaners has had similar reports, then perhaps where there's smoke, there's fire?

My elderly mum's (former) cleaner pulled this shit, $20 here, $5 there and then she moved on to stealing my mum's pain meds; a few pills here and there and finally the whole bottle. Mum had accused my sons of taking the money and the pills. It could have gotten very ugly if it weren't for the fact that she was caught on video at the pharmacy when she tried to refill the prescription.

I think you need to sit your son down calmly and simply explain that if he took his wallet to school (or elsewhere) and 'lost it', that that is a shame but that he won't be in trouble, the loss of the money is punishment enough. But that if he didn't you'll have to report the cleaners for possibly stealing the money and that they may get in trouble for it.

NotWhatWhat · 02/04/2019 14:13

In the car, in a bag, in a shoe, behind a radiator, under the cushions on the sofa..... there are so many places it could be.

BlueSaphire · 02/04/2019 14:18

Check your jewellery items. If a thief is coming into your house they may not confine themselves to your child's savings.

bridgetreilly · 02/04/2019 14:21

Oh, the money box is not a good sign. I'm afraid it does seem like someone is actually taking money, not just him losing it.

I still think it's a good idea to ask rather than accuse, initially, but if you don't get a satisfactory answer, I think I might be looking for a new cleaner. You can't have people you don't trust in your house.

tablelegs · 02/04/2019 14:22

In the arm of a jumper he's worn. I found my sons wallet in there.

RumpoleoftheBaileys · 02/04/2019 14:24

Given the position with the coins, it looks like you have a cleaner problem.

witherwings · 02/04/2019 14:24

My dd7 did the same. I wondered whether a friend had taken it home but thankfully didn't point any fingers. It turned up in the shed! (She has been playing outside).
Search everywhere!

GirlcalledJack · 02/04/2019 14:25

I would leave out some money in a not uncommon to find money place and see if it disappears.
At least then you can control who has been in contact with the ‘bait’ money so who has likely taken it and then go from there.

witherwings · 02/04/2019 14:27

Also, it was about a month between losing it and finding it.