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Original poster

Where is this £60?

195 replies

SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 12:19

My just turned 8 year old DS got a little blue wallet a few months ago from a museum giftshop. I gave him a £5 note to put into it as he'd never had any 'paper money'. He then got around £25 in money at Christmas and at his birthday 1 week ago got a further £30. After the last sum I was aware that it was mounting up and made a mental note to take it and put it in his bank account. Today it is missing.

To recap, he had the wallet with his saved £60 in it a week ago. He swears blind it was on his drawers in his bedroom. I haven't seen it elsewhere in the house despite the fact I've been doing lots of tidying in preparation for some decorating. I have just turned his bedroom upside down looking... Looked in every drawer, cupboard, behind drawers, even inside all pockets, under the rug, under his mattress, everywhere.

In the last 3 hours I have searched the entire house, even down the sides of sofas and under furniture.

The only other people who came are 2 cleaners who were here on Wednesday. I don't want to point the finger but if it was in his room and now isn't, would it be unreasonable for me to at least contact the cleaning company and ask if they'd seen it? Or do I have to chalk it up to experience and write it off?

OP posts:
gilchrist168 · 02/04/2019 13:15

Is there a possibility that you put it in your bag/ pockets intending to take it to the bank?

Whynham · 02/04/2019 13:15

Has just the money gone missing or the whole wallet?

Magicpaintbrush · 02/04/2019 13:15

Has he had any friends over from school who might have taken it? I speak from personal experience after one of dd's school friends stole a substantial amount of birthday money from her piggy bank (proven and confessed to it).

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:19

He hasn't spent it. He did have it a week ago today. The following day apart from school he was with me, the Thursday he goes to grandparents after school, the Friday to afterschool club. On Saturday he was playing football, Sunday at swimming. Yesterday I picked him up from school.

He has no free access to shops or anything, unless we take him in. He hasn't stayed at a friend's or had friends here this week. He's never even bought anything in a shop by himself before, apart from me giving him the money to pay. I can account for every second of his time, apart from those hours at school.

He's just so adamant that he had it in his room a week ago. I really thought a thorough search would uncover it so I'm surprised, and saddened that it hasn't.

OP posts:
TBDO · 02/04/2019 13:19

I think he moved it and has forgotten where. He may have been playing a game of ‘let’s pretend to be daddy’ and put it somewhere random, only to remember that it should be in the drawer so that is where it must be.

For the cleaners, I wouldn’t accuse. You could leave some money (not obvious) to see if that also desiappears, if you want to give yourself some comfort about their honesty. Do not do this if you ask them to look for the blue wallet though.

Candleglow7475 · 02/04/2019 13:20

My dd9 is generally well behaved but for dine inexplicable reason sneaks little toys & lip glosses into school to show off to her friends. She knows it’s wrong and they’re rifling being g lost but she still does it. My bet is your boy has done the same then lost it / had the cash pinched.

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:21

The whole wallet has gone. It would be different if we'd found the wallet and the cash had been taken out but the whole thing has completely vanished.

OP posts:
xWholeLottaRosiex · 02/04/2019 13:21

I would have a "grown-up" chat with your son along the lines of "Are you SURE you haven't taken it out of the house, as mummy is going to have to ask the cleaning company about it if you are certain it hasn't been out of your room, and people could potentially get into some bother. Let's think where else it could be and if you think you lost it somewhere else, you won't be in any trouble, but mummy has to know'"

My kids can understand the consequences of these things and generally fess up once reassured that there won't be any dramas over the confession. But, if your son confirms it was 100% in his room, you bet your boots I'd be contacting the cleaning company. I can imagine lots of small things could be potentially pinched from houses and if everyone just thought "oh no, I can't accuse" then the trend could go on for years! Sounds terribly British to be so afraid to insult that you would potentially allow theft to happen under your nose Smile (and I am British, I just mean its our way to be super polite to the point of silliness) Cleaners can be replaced without a great deal of drama if they are SO insulted at a genuine query for a misplaced (potentially nabbed) item....

ScatteredMama82 · 02/04/2019 13:21

My friend's DS did this! They turned the house upside down then gave up. Months later £80 fell out of a book on his bookshelf. He'd put it there to keep it safe and forgotten!

BlueSaphire · 02/04/2019 13:23

It could be the cleaners, if they are coming again you could leave money in a place where they may clean, if it disappears you will know where the £60 went.

Bluntness100 · 02/04/2019 13:24

The thing is, if he has taken it out and lost it, he would probably rather die than tell you. Most kids would. He could have taken it to school or something, to show his friends. He would be scared of getting into trouble.

I'd be reticent to mention it to th cleaners, if it was one of them, they also won't admit it.

I think you need to chalk it down to experience.

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:24

I will try and get to the bottom if it tonight. I almost hope that he has taken it out and lost it somewhere. I'd much rather that than be thinking it had been stolen from the house. And if its lost somewhere implausible in the house I'll never be any the wiser but might always suspect the cleaners.

The worst thing is I work for myself and usually have some small sums of cash in the house. I do put it away but I don't actively 'hide' it, now I think I will have to rethink that policy.

OP posts:
Dodie66 · 02/04/2019 13:26

Have you looked inside books etc?

Bluntness100 · 02/04/2019 13:26

And you've never had money stolen? Because I think that might tell you your son is at rhe bottom of this.

recrudescence · 02/04/2019 13:27

Is there any chance that he thinks you will replace the lost money and he will double his savings?

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 02/04/2019 13:27

So he’s adamant it was in his room a week ago, but you didn’t actually see it there yourself? I’d take that with a large pinch of salt from an 8 year old, tbh.

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:27

The thing is that it was in a wallet - it was bright blue holographic thing with tropical fish all over it that velcros up into thirds. It was quite a chunky thing and pretty bright and easy to spot. If it was just the cash I could think it might be in a book or slipped somewhere but the wallet is a harder thing to lose track of.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:29

Hi bluntness, no but it's been money in my bag or coat pocket or put into an envelope inside a cupboard. These aren't easy places to know there's money there without actively looking for it. A bright blue wallet left on top of a chest of drawers in a bedroom with £60 cash in it is different I think.

OP posts:
TBDO · 02/04/2019 13:30

I don’t think you should pressure him too much. Ask him to think if he played any games recently - pretend shops, pretend to be dad, and what he played with when he did that. Also ask if he wanted to show friends at school and reassure you’ll not be cross. But don’t labour it - if he can’t remember, you pressuring him is only going to make him feel bad (he’s only 8 - he shouldn’t have had responsibility for so much money but you know that).

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:30

Dodie, yes but it was in a wallet, not loose.

OP posts:
Pushpull · 02/04/2019 13:30

I think its really unlikely it's the cleaners and I'd hesitate before I asked them if they've seen it. However you phrase it I think it sounds accusatory. I have asked mine if they've seen keys etc because they do see things in random places but asking about a wallet feels different.

I think it's much more likely your son has lost it. It night turn up in the house, it's really unfortunate but I think you just need to chalk it down to experience.

Lllot5 · 02/04/2019 13:31

I think I agree with pps. Maybe your son took it to school to show his friends and has either lost it or had it pinched. Good luck for later try to talk to him so he knows he’s not in trouble.

jollygoose · 02/04/2019 13:32

Have you taken the drawer right out and felt down the back of the chest?

SoyDora · 02/04/2019 13:33

£60 is a lot of money to a child so he has probably spent it himself and now he has 'lost it'

How would an 8 year old spend £60 without their parents knowing? My oldest is only 5 but I can’t imagine many 8 year olds having access to shops on their own?

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:34

I wish the bloody thing would turn up, I feel so shit for even doubting the cleaners but then if I blame my DS for misplacing it and it has been stolen, not only am I being a dick to my son (although I do appreciate I was being unreasonable in the first place for allowing him to keep hold of it so I can't be cross really!) but I could also have thieves in my house once a week.

OP posts: