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AIBU?

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Original poster

Where is this £60?

195 replies

SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 12:19

My just turned 8 year old DS got a little blue wallet a few months ago from a museum giftshop. I gave him a £5 note to put into it as he'd never had any 'paper money'. He then got around £25 in money at Christmas and at his birthday 1 week ago got a further £30. After the last sum I was aware that it was mounting up and made a mental note to take it and put it in his bank account. Today it is missing.

To recap, he had the wallet with his saved £60 in it a week ago. He swears blind it was on his drawers in his bedroom. I haven't seen it elsewhere in the house despite the fact I've been doing lots of tidying in preparation for some decorating. I have just turned his bedroom upside down looking... Looked in every drawer, cupboard, behind drawers, even inside all pockets, under the rug, under his mattress, everywhere.

In the last 3 hours I have searched the entire house, even down the sides of sofas and under furniture.

The only other people who came are 2 cleaners who were here on Wednesday. I don't want to point the finger but if it was in his room and now isn't, would it be unreasonable for me to at least contact the cleaning company and ask if they'd seen it? Or do I have to chalk it up to experience and write it off?

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/04/2019 12:52

My DH left £30 on the top of a chest of drawers once as I was going to the hairdresser's and had forgotten to get money out. I saw him put the money down. Went to get it later and it was gone. Dh had gone to work and ds was a baby then . I hunted everywhere, dh hunted everywhere when he came home and we never found it. We always joked that when we moved we would find the money down the back of the drawers or something - but we never did. Really odd.

CaMePlaitPas · 02/04/2019 12:53

My bet is that he's taken it to school to show off and lost it there.

SunshineCake · 02/04/2019 12:53

A desperate person may risk everything for £60 as what can the OP do about it? She can't search their house so they say no and the she's stuck.

StarlingsEverywhere · 02/04/2019 12:56

He's 8, Kobea. I doubt he's had the opportunity to spend £60 on himself in a week! When and on what would he spend it? Far more likely he's misplaced it or possibly taken it to school and lost it (or had it stolen there). The cleaners might also have taken it but I certainly wouldn't assume that's the case.

QuimReaper · 02/04/2019 12:57

I think the likeliest scenario is that he put the wallet in his school bag or coat pocket or something to carry it around "like Daddy", and lost it.

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 12:57

He's 8 and it was last seen 7 days ago. He has been nowhere except school without me.

I agree that he may well have put it somewhere random but has had no opportunity to spend it.

I wouldnt like to think that one of the cleaners would have taken it and I won't accuse them, I guess I just have to hope he's put it somewhere else in the house.

I suppose the main thing that gave me concern is that he was so sure it was in his room, he had it a week ago and I've not seen it elsewhere in the house since and I have turned the house upside down today. Things just don't disappear. But unless I have evidence it was taken, not misplaced, I can't go around accusing my poor cleaners who probably haven't even seen it either. The most I can do is just ask them to help me out by keeping any eye out for it while they're here.

OP posts:
BrokenWing · 02/04/2019 12:59

I would ask the cleaners if they have seen it, they might have tided it away somewhere safe, but wouldn't accuse.

I would have high on my list of possibilities he took it into school and one of his classmates has it but he doesn't want to come clean.

If your son cant remember where he put it, don't replace, its a life lesson for him to take more care of such a large amount of money (for an 8 year old). Talk to him about how money could be kept safer in the future (wallet in drawer, cash tin, piggy bank, put in bank account, money given to an adult to keep safe etc)

bridgetreilly · 02/04/2019 12:59

Have you checked the laundry basket and all the pockets of everything?

redwoodmazza · 02/04/2019 13:00

Could it be in a coat or trouser pocket?

cottonwoolbrain · 02/04/2019 13:00

Sorry OP but we had to sack a cleaner a few years ago for stealing. At first I thought I was going mad as it was little things like tubes of nice hand cream, coins on chest of drawers, a saucepan... all things that could just mysteriously disappear...

Then dd emptied her piggy bank and all the silver coins and pound coins had been removed, money disappeared from DP's sock drawer. Finally I intentionally left £25 in £5 notes on my bedside table and when we came in there was only £15 there.

DP stayed in the next week, got the keys off her and sacked her on the spot - she denied everything of course. It was the piggy bank thing that upset me most :(

I really hope it turns up. Its such an awful feeling suspecting people you've trusted to be in your home have stolen from you

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:00

Just done it Bridget, thankyou. No sign though.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 02/04/2019 13:00

Also all the books. Could it have been tucked into one of them?

But honestly, there are a ton of places things can get lost. Seems a lot more likely than cleaners taking it, tbh.

winbinin · 02/04/2019 13:01

I agree with others that cleaners (even dishonest ones and I’ve never had a dishonest one) are unlikely to risk regular paid employment and references for £60. An 8 year old, OTOH, is very likely to misplace something small that has little real value to them.

Leave it OP. It will probably turn up.

katseyes7 · 02/04/2019 13:01

l'd do what ZippyBungleandGeorge suggested. Ask the cleaners to look out for "a little blue envelope" and see what transpires.

M3lon · 02/04/2019 13:01

He could be pretending its lost.

Is there anyone at school or at home who could have taken it off your son and threatened him?

Is there any chance he is hiding something like that from you?

Or maybe he has given it away and not wanted to tell you?

I got manipulated by 'friends' at school at around that age - not for that much money but for some...then got in trouble with my parents for it.

Maybe if you make it clear to him that whatever he did with it, it was his money to do that with - he might open up to you.

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:02

Thankyou Broken. Yes, life lesson for us all I think. It's just maddening that it's vanished. It's either lost somewhere or someone has it.

OP posts:
LL83 · 02/04/2019 13:03

When my dd gets birthday money it is such a novelty she takes it out and counts it every other day, it was ridiculous and I had to constantly check she put it away safely.

I think it will turn up.

Bankofenglandfiver · 02/04/2019 13:03

Are you sure he hasn’t taken it to school to show it to his friends and it’s been nicked there?

leafy22 · 02/04/2019 13:05

I have no doubt that the cleaners stole it :( This happens all the time.

BlueMerchant · 02/04/2019 13:06

I agree that there's a big possibility he's been telling his mates about his £60 and taken it in to show them and it's gone 'missing' or he's lost it and he's worried about how to admit to it.

Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:10

I will speak to him again tonight and see if he's hiding something. I suppose the difficulty is that it's hard to judge at what point to believe that he did just store it in his room and therefore there is a chance its been taken OR if because he's just 8, he is somehow automatically too unreliable to believe. I don't have the answers, I'm just wondering.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpoilsburyToastGirl · 02/04/2019 13:11

As I said £60 isn't worth someone potentially losing their job over though. I can't risk that while there's the slightest doubt that he could be responsible

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 02/04/2019 13:11

Sit down with him and ask him nicely, did he take it and spend it? He's not getting into trouble, after all, it was HIS money. But what would he need £60 for? It would buy an awful lot of sweeties. If he insists that he didn't take it, it can only be the cleaners, can't it? Poor little boy.

Explain to the agency that you don't want those particular cleaners back, but don't say why. If it was them, you don't even know which one...

SuchAToDo · 02/04/2019 13:14

Could he have spent it thinking you wouldn't ask about it, and now that you have asked for the money to put in the bank he is panicking and saying it's missing?

Did you actually see the money yourself a week ago with your own eyes (if he's saying it was there and you didn't see it then you can't know for sure if it was really there or if it's part of a story he has made up to cover himself if he has spent it)

outpinked · 02/04/2019 13:14

Knowing my DC who are a similar age to your DS, I would most definitely blame them before I blamed a cleaner. Kids can be absolutely useless at keeping things safe. Don’t leap at blaming them, your DS has lost it in all likelihood.