To not warn DH it is my birthday this Friday!!

[Gradiva]

This is my first ever thread!

Feels like the time to post here as I have a small dilemma and can’t ask friends in real life as they may warn him! I think DH (7 years together) has forgotten it is my Birthday this week. I always usually remind him or organise something because he is “always so busy” and I can usually tell a few days before it has slipped his mind. I remind him because I don’t want to have to see he has forgotten. As I have always reminded him I have never been able to prove if his has actually forgotten. He always claims to have known but I’m not sure. (Presents usually come after the day/as a promise to spend some money on me/ or flowers from Waitrose on way home etc!) I’m considering saying nothing. Becsuse how will he ever learn unless I let him forget? I won’t get angry at him, but I will show him I am disappointed . Because it is just a bit disappointing. I don’t get (or expect) much on the day, unfortunately that’s how I’ve let us become, but I would like him to remember! He is crap at the small things (never bringing me cups or tea even though I always do for him and tell him how much it means to me, mothers’ days cards made at lunchtime after reminding etc) but I think they are important. AIBU to not remind him? He will accuse me of “setting him a trap”. I kind of am... but it might be a good lesson?!

I have friends whose husbands really go to town organising nice surprises. So AI-also-BU and shallow to wish I had a romantic thoughtful husband too or are some men just not that way and never will be?

Happy Birthday 🎉🎉

Happy Birthday @Gradiva 🎂 x

Happy Birthday Wishes

Happy birthday OP.
In all honesty, it’s not so much game playing as to wanting to be seen, to be considered. You have multiple issues here and I think you need counselling both alone and together to improve this.

Happy birthday 🎂

WOW, I’m sitting here with a massive smile on my face. Who knew that the well wishes of strangers could mean so much.
Thank you all

So - as some may have expected - things have been very rocky with DH and late yesterday afternoon during a lull in our bickering (no doubt fuelled by my birthday disappointment all week) he mentioned “so, are we going out tomorrow night?” (Note: no mention of birthday) (I had suggested going out on Monday without reminding him why but his response about it being a busy week told me he had forgotten...hence my post on Monday) etc.
Yesterday I had to be out with the DC and he saw a few cards arrive so it obviously reminded him. Childish I know but I was gutted my test had been thwarted. But I think we can safely safe had I not let him see the cards he wouldn’t have remembered. So I win...

We are in the middle of a miserable arguement and all really is not well at all. But I think this was for me the straw the broke the camels back and messing up a birthday that

🎈Happy Birthday 🎈

Gah... posted too soon and without a read through...!

Happy birthday 🎂

“Safely say”
“Camel’s”

Yes. Priorities in our relationship need rethinking, roles reconsidering and I guess we each feel undervalued and misunderstood.
We have a lot to talk about and work through.

But I’m not taking any more crap (sulking, opting out, blame, responsibility for his feelings that are out of my control).

And he will do his own Christmas shopping and birthday card buying from now on.

HIP HIP HOORAY!

Happy birthday x

Happy birthday op!

Happy Birthday!

Sometimes the best present we can give ourselves, is to value ourselves. or a🦆if you prefer!

Happy birthday! Enjoy your day and get some cake in!

Happy Birthday

The thing is he could set reminders on the calendar on his phone and it takes two minutes to order a card and flowers from Moonpig or somewhere, the fact that he can't even be bothered to do that isn't great. I do hope you can work through it and he does try to put more effort in as you're right you shouldn't have to put up with sulking and thoughtlessness.

Happy Birthday Gradiva and obviously best wishes for the year ahead, especially to less time present/card hunting!

Happy birthday! Hope he proves you wrong 🎂

I am going to let everyone in on a little secret that's been working for me for years..... Buy your own presents! That way you are never disappointed with what you get, give everyone at least a weeks notice by telling them you will probably book something to do for your birthday on xx day. I even picked my own cake this year, DP and one of the kids was there but I picked it. I even picked my own flowers (because DP always picks a dying bunch). Also picked my own mother's Day present which is very close to my birthday.
DP actually booked a place for dinner this year all by himself 😂.

Just tell him OP, buy yourself something nice.

Happy bday! Sorry about your dh. Mine remembers but I have got some absolutely shite presents. I am so easy to buy for too, he isn’t!!

Happy Birthday to you. Enjoy your very special day.

Happy birthday! 🎉🎂💐

I hope you are in the shower, looking forward to a lovely day. And if your husband has forgotten, no worries. You don't need a self-absorbed twunt to give you a lovely day. Cinema, lunch, shop, then drinks with friends would be my choice. When he asks where you've been, tell him you've been out for your birthday and leave it at that. Then it's DIY birthdays for both of you until he appreciates you properly!

Happy birthday OP!
I'm sorry to hear things with you and your husband aren't great. Maybe look at this as a wake up call for the both of you that some things in your relationship need to change?