to think my Mum is wrong.

[codswallup]

My mum started paying my DS & DD spending money about 5 years ago every week. When my DD turned 18 recently she told her that she wouldn't be giving her any more spending but will still give my DS,who is 13, spending money. So overall when my DS reaches 18 he will have received more spending money than my DD. I think this is wrong because they should be treated the same. So because of this my sister has decided to give my DD spending money until my DS reaches 18 then they've both received the same, my mum doesn't know about this arrangement. I can't mention any of this issue to my mum as she's hard work to talk to about anything especially regarding money, life is easier to keep your mouth shut than to approach her about her decision.
AIBU with this situation?

FGS life isn't fair 🤦🏼‍♀️

DS has had money from us in the sense that we chose to give him some money over university years, so I would not necessarily agree that giving money to an 18 + year old is always bad. Not pocket money I grant you ( aha that was not an intended pun) . DH's brother's daughters have probably had more from DH's parents but it really is not something I am going to lose sleep about. It is not "paying" it is a present , gift , however you wish to call it. I agree with other posters , fairness is not always "exactly the same" .

I know it is a little trite but I suspect it was that great writer "Anon" who said happiness is not getting everything you wish for but being grateful for what you have. Oh I know that sounds a bit schmaltzy but sometimes cliches resonate for a reason

Unless grandma is giving one an Old Master worth millions and the other one a small box of lego I would just smile and say thank you. cf William and Ed - The Archers.

Tbh it will be fair why ? The reality the stuff dd was buying before pocket money from grandma you would of just paid.

Sounds like she is financially helping you .

At 18 I would not be expecting pocket money from grandma .

YABU. fair and equal aren't the same thing. If in five years she continues to give your ds (then 18) money that would be unfair.