to think my Mum is wrong.

[codswallup]

My mum started paying my DS & DD spending money about 5 years ago every week. When my DD turned 18 recently she told her that she wouldn't be giving her any more spending but will still give my DS,who is 13, spending money. So overall when my DS reaches 18 he will have received more spending money than my DD. I think this is wrong because they should be treated the same. So because of this my sister has decided to give my DD spending money until my DS reaches 18 then they've both received the same, my mum doesn't know about this arrangement. I can't mention any of this issue to my mum as she's hard work to talk to about anything especially regarding money, life is easier to keep your mouth shut than to approach her about her decision.
AIBU with this situation?

Why didn't I have extended family like that?! Heck my aunt wouldn't have known me if I'd walked past her in the street, and my grandma didn't even sent me a birthday fiver, never mind a regular allowance!

Life is very unfair.

Is DSiS giving the doubled equal amount to DD?

@Daenerys77 think you've hit the nail on the head, lots of issues with my mother

@codswallup I tell you what, to make it fair ask your mum to stop giving your DS money? Sorted!

Fair enough to stop at 18, your DD can get a job.

Agree with you 100%

Grabby much...

Your DM shouldn't pay her 18 YO working granddaughter pocket money.

Doubling your DS's take is playing favourites.

Your sister has not helped.

All of that aside, the dynamic in your family surrounding money sounds fraught with the potential for upset.

My parents are a bit like this with their GC and money (handing more out to some than others based on their judgement of the 'circumstances'). As it happens the GC who receive the most money have sadly grown to be entitled and cheeky with it - not at all their fault.

YABU. DD doesn't need pocket money, she's 18. And who cares if she started getting it a bit later than her sibling - life isn't always fair, it's not a lot of money and it's your mum's choice. It's over the top to try and even things out like this. Sends a bad message to your eldest that she can be grabby and nit pick over other people's gifts to her.

“18 year olds get jobs to earn money they don't get spending money “

What even if they are still at school?

“18 year olds get jobs to earn money they don't get spending money “

What even if they are still at school?

Ever heard of a Saturday job?

It's sad that the OP can't see how ridiculous and weird her complaint against her DM is.

Bertrand, even if they do get some because they are still at school; grandparents are not obligated to give them any. At 18, she can find a Saturday job and should be encouraged to do so.

The weird thing is that I'm sure even a teenager must be able to see why it would stop at 18 anyway

No I'd also be saying no to the doubling. That's just nuts.

I don't think the OP has a problem with the money stopping at 18 as such. I think it's more to do with when the money started being given. Say the GM stated giving children money 10 years ago then the DS has been receiving the money since 3 years old whereas the DD has only been receiving since she was 8 therefore overall the DS will be getting another 5 years worth of money for instance.
But the money would need to stop at some point

DD gets spending money every week off great-grandparents - £1 a week and she's 8 months, it also increases in weekly amount the older she gets. Some of her cousins get £5 a week.

However, she has 18 year old cousins - it's not their fault that they've been getting it for 18 years and DD won't (because however awful it is to think like that, they won't be around another 18 years).

I think you both right, but it is your mum's money to use how she likes.
You should remind your DD that she is lucky she had 5 years of pocket money.
It is up to your mum how she uses her spare cash. Not you.
Also how are you going to deal with it if your son gets a job that pays more than your daughter....
She needs to see what is happening is called growing up.

Seriously?

Omg! How ungrateful. My nan died 2 years ago and every birthday and Christmas she gave me and my siblings some money. My siblings are older so In fact they received more money over the years than I did! Are you being serious!! I can't believe you wrote this post. Ungrateful!!!

All the posters here know she's on about the length of time it's being given. We still think it's perfectly fine to stop at 18

Yabu and grabby. My parents dont give me pocket money anymore because iam an adult . They give the grand children money
But apparently that's not far , whah ..... stamps feet

Fare

I can't believe it even crossed your mind to think this way. Just be grateful your DM was even giving your DCs any money - not who got what and when!

My DM came at the weekend and gave my DD £20 and my DS £10. No idea what her logic is, but I don't care - i just was very grateful as were they.

I'd be thankful that there grandmother cares. My DC grandmother on dh side has never bothered with DC not even a birthday card, not a call when youngest DC was fighting for her life.