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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel sad that so many people have complained about Mothers Day?

91 replies

LailaByron · 31/03/2019 20:59

I just think it’s sad....and I know everyone’s circumstances are different but ultimately it’s a made up day for shops to make money. My DD1 bought me a bunch of flowers and i gave my DD2 and DS £3 each to buy me something from their school ‘Mothers Day’ shop.
Other than that, my Sunday was the same as any other Sunday. I got up at 7, did washing, ironing, cleaning. Went with DP to DS football match. Came home, cooked lunch for everyone. We all helped clean up after (as we always do) we went for a walk to our local, had a few drinks and came home.
Do I feel neglected? Unloved? Unappreciated? No.
I feel like I’m lucky to have children that love me. Lucky to have children at all to be honest. Especially when there are those that can’t. Or have lost their children.
I’m a mum. My children love me...everyday. I don’t need cards and presents to prove that.

OP posts:

AnneOfCleanTables · 31/03/2019 21:03

I think it's lovely you had a nice day. For those that are disappointed, I think it's more representative of bigger issues tbh. If you feel settled, loved and appreciated every day then days like Mothers' Day aren't that important.
If you feel unappreciated, then it's more important to you that for at least one day your family express their gratitude and notice all your efforts.
Also, different people express love in different ways. That doesn't make you better or morally superior. It just makes you different.

NiceViper · 31/03/2019 21:04

Ok, so you were happy with yours, but I don't quite get how that relates to your thread title.

I haven't seen much complaining (other than on the petty gripes, tongue in cheek thread), so don't really know if it's all unreasonable or if people are posting about wider difficulties that have crystallised about now.

Bizzle123 · 31/03/2019 21:23

Mothering Sunday is an official Christian holiday, and a day to recognise the unsung work mother’s do - it’s not a made up day for shops to make money (although they have jumped on the back of it). So I think it is a shame if it’s ‘just another day’ for all the hardworking mums. Although I agree it shouldn’t be about presents, it’s about being given a day off and being appreciated

Isitteayourlookingfor · 31/03/2019 21:29

I haven’t complained about it on here but it is shit when it’s just another day, doing everything as per usual.
You seem a bit sanctimonious with the my children love me everyday and I don’t need cards or presents to prove it. Good for you.

Biancadelrioisback · 31/03/2019 21:32

I've had a hard day. I work my arse off and I just wanted a day from my family to say thank you. I didn't end up with that and in hurt. It started well but didn't last long. I never feel valued

Sirzy · 31/03/2019 21:32

So many threads it just seems like some mother’s are grabby and after a present.

Like so many things it has all just got so commercialised which takes away from the actual thing

crispysausagerolls · 31/03/2019 21:34

Could not agree with you more.

PurpleDaisies · 31/03/2019 21:34

Sad or smug?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 31/03/2019 21:35

I had a bit of a shit day
One DS was a little shit and didn’t make me a card
And my mother was a hard work as she judges my parenting and screen time
It was meh . I don’t like days that are meant to be special as they often turn to shit !

Bobbycat121 · 31/03/2019 21:36

I agree with you.
ive seen so many moaning threads today. Im a lone parent so dont get anything so its annoying seeing people moaning about presents not being good enough.

Cyw2018 · 31/03/2019 21:37

This is my 2nd Mother's Day, all 3 of us are ill at the moment and I had to book today off work sick, but at least I got to spend it at home with my DD (and DH). The novelty factor of being a mum on Mother's Day still hasn't worn off

Angrybird123 · 31/03/2019 21:38

I think its easy to dismiss peoples' hurt at being chronically under appreciated by saying its just a commercial day etc.. So what if it is.. Its pretty well recognised that it's one day where the person who. In 99% of households holds it all together might get some small token of recognition.. And that could just as well come from the husband / partner as the kids. Its about appreciating the ROLE the mother of the household plays and in many households the husband benefits almost as much as the kids from that role so I think it's perfectly OK for people to feel disappointed that their immediate family ignore it.

MenuPlant · 31/03/2019 21:40

Bizzle it is a christian holiday (mothering Sunday) but the mother part refers to returning to your 'mother' church.

Nothing to do with women /mothers / hardworking /aporeciation etc

I mean it's nice to think there would be an ancient Christian celebration of mothers but this one isn't it (if there is one, which I doubt, but happy to be enlightened!)

Bluestitch · 31/03/2019 21:40

Some of the threads I've seen have made me sad- not because the women are moaning or ungrateful, but because so many women are treated like shit by their partners who let them run ragged doing everything, even facilitate their MILs Mothers Day but who can't even help their young kids make their mum a card.

wowsertrousers · 31/03/2019 21:42

AnneofCleanTables - absolutely, nail hit firmly on head I think.

MenuPlant · 31/03/2019 21:42

Mothering Sunday has lost its original religious meaning in the UK and most people do mothers day on the same day which is an idea we have adopted more recently from America

endofthelinefinally · 31/03/2019 21:43

Mothering Sunday is a religious holiday based on allowing people to return to the mother church.
It has been corrupted to the current commercial Mother's day.
Nevertheless, it means a lot to many people.
My child is dead, but I can still feel sorry for other mothers who have been hurt, neglected or unappreciated today.
Everyone's life is different.
It costs nothing to be kind.

crispysausagerolls · 31/03/2019 21:44

endofthelinefinally

❤️

MamaDane · 31/03/2019 21:46

I don't know if YABU or not. I see all holidays as made up, whether or not it's for money doesn't matter much, I know I also love christmas as well just as I love mother's day.

I'm currently pregnant and visiting MIL atm. I gave my partner a card "from the bump" and our MIL got chocolate from Denmark, flowers and a card.

My DP and her siblings always make sure to come around for mother's day, even though we live abroad, and it's really nice how they make the day special for their mum. Cook her food and shower her in cards, presents or/and flowers.

I don't see anything wrong with having a day where a mum is extra appreciated. Mums do so much with barely any validation or thanks, for all of the times our mums have taken care of us, it's only fair we have a day to celebrate her.

We don't celebrate mother's day in Denmark on the same date as the UK, so DP and I will even have our own day each

PengAly · 31/03/2019 21:47

Yup so many moany and grabby mums on MN today and for the past week. Its ridiculous that people so easily lose the meaning of Mothering Sunday (NOT a made up holiday) as soon as gifts are involved.

EllieNor · 31/03/2019 21:48

I'm struggling with this! It seems Dhs are getting a lot of stick and I genuinely don't get it!!

I have young 2dc, each made the sweetest card and were so proud to give them, I got up, I got them showered and dressed and took the kids to the amusements with some 2ps, we had an absolute ball walking with an ice cream down by the beach afterwards whilst dh listened to the footie. Got home, cuddled up with a film for the dc whilst dh was upstairs watching tv. Should I be angry at dh? I'm baffled. I didn't get expensive tat, shop bought cards or flowers but I spent time enjoying my crazy kids. My day with my kids.

Dh is laughing and saying maybe we do MD and FD backwards

SandyY2K · 31/03/2019 21:49

I was wondering if as many dads moan about fathers day, compared to the number of mums complaining about no card...gifts etc

There have been some interesting ones...like the FIL forcing stepnanny on the OP... and a couple of others, but a lot have been unnecessary IMO.

Inapickle230 · 31/03/2019 22:00

I think it’s definitely part of a bigger issue why people are disappointed. I got nothing from my daughter (who is 1), a cheap bunch of daffodils really would have been enough but DP didn’t even think to do that. I do everything everyday and it would have been nice to feel appreciated. I got him loads of thoughtful things on Father’s Day so yes I am annoyed, with him really not that I didn’t get gifts.

snowball28 · 31/03/2019 22:05

I think for many Mother’s Day just really hammers it home how unappreciated some women are as mothers/partners etc. I always put in a decent amount of thought and effort for Father’s Day is it so unreasonable to want a card or a bunch of flowers? To feel like you’re a priority to someone. This year I’m single and it’s been really tough, not that he made much effort anyway he always made more of an effort for his ex whilst I ran around making sure both the mums were sorted (hence one of the many reasons I’m single!) but seeing all the lovely things other mums have done/received today has made me feel very low and alone. I’m sure lots of mums are feeling like this today.

I think it’s fair to feel a little down, being a mum is such a thankless task and so much is expected from us, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a day to relax or be treated and for whatever reason if that doesn’t manifest then yeah it can be a bitter pill to swallow.

Personally I’ve just tried to pretend today doesn’t exist. Tomorrow is a new day and all . .

Gottalovesummer · 31/03/2019 22:07

OP, you sound very smug.

My DH didn't organise anything from our DC

And my DM invited my DSis over for lunch and not me.

So I feel pretty justified in feeling like complaining.

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