To feel sad that so many people have complained about Mothers Day?

[LailaByron]

I just think it’s sad....and I know everyone’s circumstances are different but ultimately it’s a made up day for shops to make money. My DD1 bought me a bunch of flowers and i gave my DD2 and DS £3 each to buy me something from their school ‘Mothers Day’ shop.
Other than that, my Sunday was the same as any other Sunday. I got up at 7, did washing, ironing, cleaning. Went with DP to DS football match. Came home, cooked lunch for everyone. We all helped clean up after (as we always do) we went for a walk to our local, had a few drinks and came home.
Do I feel neglected? Unloved? Unappreciated? No.
I feel like I’m lucky to have children that love me. Lucky to have children at all to be honest. Especially when there are those that can’t. Or have lost their children.
I’m a mum. My children love me...everyday. I don’t need cards and presents to prove that.

I don’t think it’s that people aren’t grateful for what they have. I think it’s more a case of them not feeling appreciated in general. They feel undervalued day-to-day, and so hope their family will go the extra mile to make them feel special on Mother’s Day.

My ds isn’t quite 2. He has no idea what Mother’s Day is. DH helped him draw me a picture, and bought some daffodils for him to give me. This was lovely, and more than enough because I feel valued and appreciated anyway. DH and I are a team, and regularly acknowledge what each of us does for our family.

People are not really complaining about Mother’s Day, they’re upset about the way they are treated in general.

Op, can't you see for many its also not about gifts and stuff, it's about recognition and being appreciated? You have been appreciated, you FEEL appreciated but so many haven't. As the late backstory, we've all got one of those.

We'd all love to leave the unappreciative partner (me included) but its not so easy to LTB.

I spent the day cleaning up vomit and changing sheets and washing. DP was out all day but my kids gave me some nice cards.

When I was working as a florist I would have got upset not to receive anything myself but that would have been after a week of 12-22 hour days, working until I was so tired I couldn’t stand to make sure everyone’s mums got something lovely so it would have felt particularly shit not to receive something nice myself. Now I’m far less fussed, same goes for Valentine’s Day.

Just look at threads on here and yet posters come along telling these mothers that they are ungrateful fuckers.

MamaDane I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I'm not generally unhappy. I know I'm responsible for these things, so I just crack on. It's the occasions where I do ask for help (like today with my bath, or when I'm ill etc) and don't get it that I sometimes feel deflated.

I would rather stay with OH though. I get adult conversation every day, the DC have a playroom and lawned gardens front and back, when they're of school age they will be in nice schools both primary and secondary (particularly important for DS who's currently being assessed for ASD). For me to offer them these things alone, they'd be in childcare for ridiculous hours and I'd never see them.

I'm sure lots of people feel upset if their families make no effort when as mum's they probably work hard for everyone else every day. When my kids were small I didn't get too het up by it and we tended to see our mum's. Now I have teens it is nice to get a card and be treated a bit. My kids were lovely today and cooked me breakfast and then a roast for dinner, they bought/made cards (I asked for no pressies as money is tight) and told me to sit down and relax when I was trying to do jobs around the house so they could do them instead. I think it's nice to feel appreciated and I imagine if they had done nothing I might feel a bit hurt.

@SandyY2k

Thanks 🙂 the post wasn’t meant to seem smug or offend anyone...I was only trying to say that often with all the media ‘hype’ about days like this, we are often made to feel that it’s all about cards and presents etc.

I’m pretty thick skinned. I’ve dealt with much worse in my lifetime than a few people that choose to take offence to everything and will pick apart a thread and twist it to suit themselves! ☺️

Actually YouLikeTheBadOnes has put it perfectly

Exactly, exhzusted

My teens don't do anything, due to their SN. Ds2 is completely unaware and DS1 just can't do occasions.

Ds
H made sure there were chocolates for me, though, and chose a card with Ds2 and helped him to make a mark on it.

I had my usual Sunday out playing pokemon with DS1. I needed to plant some seeds and pot up ds1's pet cactus, so we went to wilko, but I got frustrated with the layout of the particular store we visited and was ready to give up. DS1 helped me to find the things I needed, carried the heavy bag of sowing compost and even decided his cactus needed a friend, so chose one with me. He can't do trite social stuff, but he proved he can rise to the occasion and share something enjoyable with me.

I can't persuade him that he needs to get his arse to bed, mind.

I had a bit of a moan. Left abusive ex last month. No recognition today of the fact I'm raising my baby by myself. Barrage of abuse from my ex. Told I was pathetic excuse of a mother. 4 month old didn't even bother to say thanks! Lots of posts on social media about how amazing their day was and thanks to their families. I moaned because my situation is shit at the moment and I just wanted a nice day. Nobody remembered to say anything to me. I know, it's commercialised etc but a 'happy first Mother's Day' would've been nice ..

@organicmama

Happy first Mother's Day . You are doing an amazing job and also the best thing you can for you and your baby by getting away from that abuse. Best wishes to you and precious little one

I think people on MN put too much stock on mother's day. It's not a birthday.

If your underappreciated generally one day can't make up for a year of shit treatment. You can't expect a partner who generally treats you like shit and doesn't appreciate you day to day to suddenly turn around and appreciate you on mother's day. If your partner isn't pulling their weight, or is basically being a shit then you can't expect them to change. They are a shit and so you either need to accept your married to a shit or leave. One day isn't going to change that.

I've always thought for me mother's day (and fathers day) has always been a bit of a commercial day. For me it's from children to their mothers, I've always thought it strange that baby's give mother's day presents and things because they obviously didnt chose it or write the card. That's just seems weird and false. Partners should be pulling their weight day to day and using other days to show their appreciation.

I always give my mum a card and present but I find putting too much into the day is just cringy. I like to think I do a lot of the special mother's day things everyday with my mum. I try to appreciate both my parents everyday and I think if I didn't and then just spent me day telling her I loved her that would just be a totally fake day. It's nice to get a card and a present but the most important thing should be spending the day with those who love you.

Yet people do stay with spouses like that, all the time

In which case that's the choice they make and the complaining won't help.

I see women on MN complaining about lazy, unhelpful, alcoholic, useless men, yet they continue having children with them.

It's one thing to feel unappreciated now and again. I think we all feel like that way sometimes and I'm sure men feel it too, but if it's a permanent situation one needs to put a plan in place to change the situation.

I think that is a pretty shitty OP, trying to make out that mothers day is all about the money and commercialism.

I don't care about that, but it is important that DM are treated to have a day off from the relentless give give give of running house nurturing DC, etc. Or get a hand-made card/small gift. A thought, a recognition of their love and efforts.

It's not much to do for someone that does all this day in day out for the rest of the year, is it?!

How about not bothering with someones birthday.

@BlueCornishPixie

If your underappreciated generally one day can't make up for a year of shit treatment. You can't expect a partner who generally treats you like shit and doesn't appreciate you day to day to suddenly turn around and appreciate you on mother's day

Exactly what I said earlier I the thread.

you either need to accept your married to a shit or leave. One day isn't going to change that.

Yep. Totally agree.

Eintein's definition of insanity ...is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.