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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be disappointed with the school mums

352 replies

tipsandtricks · 31/03/2019 10:55

Supposedly “naice” area, private school (which may or may not make a difference, I don’t know) and some of the mothers are just not nice people!

They gossip, they show off, they try to manipulate the teachers (and it works with some), they do not discipline their children, they are competitive to the point of making nasty remarks to 4 year olds if they have won a prize and their child hasn’t and they flout the school rules (hair length, uniform, no fighting) because they are paying so “what are they going to do?!” 😕

I don’t know what I was expecting but this is like a group of mean girls who have had children and still think they are in the playground.

OP posts:
HarrySnotter · 31/03/2019 14:30

No, you're right, all adults women who happen to be mother's should be kind, polite and friendly

Well, with the exception of the 'women who happen to be mothers' bit, yes - people should be polite and friendly. I'm not sure why anyone would think otherwise.

sirfredfredgeorge · 31/03/2019 14:47

hair length There are seriously schools that teach 4 year olds that have rules about hair length?

Persimmonn · 31/03/2019 14:48

I know this is off topic but what did mother Teresa do?! Can someone link? 😂

Quertymcquerty · 31/03/2019 14:51

allthatsinteresting.com/mother-teresa-saint

bunchoftulipsanddaffs · 31/03/2019 14:57

sirfredfredgeorge It’s in our Ts and Cs, for the boys anyway. As is no earrings, nail polish, or makeup for the girls or boys. private school can say what they like, not that anyone takes any notice!

Happyspud · 31/03/2019 14:59

People often disappoint. And we all think we’re the nice ones!

Quertymcquerty · 31/03/2019 14:59

BertrandRussell

“30% of children are on assisted places”

Good kird-are you from the 1980’s?

That’s certainly true in my area Bertrand, here, let me give you a link Wink.

Many private schools are embarking on campaigns to raise more funds for means-tested bursaries. These days, almost one-third of pupils educated in the private sector receive some form of financial assistance in the form of a scholarship or bursary

www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/choosing-a-school/independent-schools/fees-financial-assistance-scholarships-and-bursaries

BertrandRussell · 31/03/2019 15:00

“'Naice' is a piss take of the Received Pronunciation accent's (think Jacob Rees-Mogg) way of saying the word 'nice'.”

Really? It always used to be a piss take of the lower middle class, ultra refained candle light supper fish knife types so lampooned by John Betjamin.The meaning must have changed.....

Quertymcquerty · 31/03/2019 15:03

Oh well, interesting first post as they say OP...

Jimdandy · 31/03/2019 15:05

Mine got to a private school but it’s open from 7.30 to 6pm so pick up times means we never really see the others. They seemed ok at my daughter’s party and the school play.

I had your kind of experience at Mum and Baby groups though.

Persimmonn · 31/03/2019 15:07

Thanks Qwerty shocking. I grew up being told MT was a lovely pious woman. Wtf. First MJ and now this one. This is my year of enlightenment 😳.

MitziK · 31/03/2019 15:08

Using RP, @BertrandRussell, using RP.

BertrandRussell · 31/03/2019 15:09

It was the use of the term “assisted places” that threw me. It’s a phrase with a specific meaning.

Quertymcquerty · 31/03/2019 15:10

Persimmonn yep, same as Kids Company etc. Good at fooling people who never question anything.

Quertymcquerty · 31/03/2019 15:11

‘Assisted places’ is quite clear to me, a form of financial assistance.

Original poster
tipsandtricks · 31/03/2019 15:16

It’s not a first post, it’s a name change 🙄.

Take last night. Several of the mothers went for a night out to a private room in an extremely popular and expensive restaurant. All were invited but it was too short notice for some (even though it must have been booked by someone many weeks ago) and probably too expensive for some (certainly for me). This morning we find out via Facebook that staff went also! It was supposed to be a Mother’s Day dinner but it was actually a school dinner.

It doesn’t feel right.

BertrandRussell There are certainly children with assisted places at our school which makes the above even more irksome.

OP posts:
Filibustering · 31/03/2019 15:16

They are not people
That share your values sadly

Well, they share your values in that you and they presumably think private education is acceptable, and not a blight on society which perpetuates inequality, so maybe you have more in common than you realise.

My child is at a run-of-the-mill village primary, and I don't think much of the mothers or fathers of DS's classmates whom I've met, but I wasn't expecting to find them a bunch of kindred spirits just because we have children in the same class, any more than I would expect it of the parents attending a baby group, the people working for any specific organisation, or who commute on the same train.

Original poster
tipsandtricks · 31/03/2019 15:21

bunchoftulipsanddaffs Same at our school. Perhaps we go to the same one!

OP posts:
Original poster
tipsandtricks · 31/03/2019 15:24

BertrandRussell Assisted places just means they get some of the fees paid, assistance with fees.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 31/03/2019 15:25

“Assisted places’ is quite clear to me, a form of financial assistance.“

It may be clear to you- but it is a very specific term to mean a form of financial assistance that no longer exists. And does not mean the mixture of scholarships and bursaries that many private schools offer which are usually pretty finely tuned not to allow anyone below an “acceptable” level of genteel poverty in!

ElizabethMountbatten · 31/03/2019 15:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

BertrandRussell · 31/03/2019 15:26

Op- your school sounds ghastly. Time to move, I reckon.

Original poster
tipsandtricks · 31/03/2019 15:30

Filibustering Unfortunately the choice was go to the nearest state school that has been in the news for a horrible reason, try to get into another, over subscribed, further away, private or move.

You are lucky in your little run-of-the-mill village with no crime and no need to be scared of the school.

OP posts:
sirfredfredgeorge · 31/03/2019 15:30

I always think it's so odd that people talk about andscholarships and bursaries as if they are things designed to benefit poorer kids, when they're actually the method that the schools can provide differential pricing to extract the maximum income...

Quertymcquerty · 31/03/2019 15:33

It may be clear to you- but it is a very specific term to mean a form of financial assistance that no longer exists. And does not mean the mixture of scholarships and bursaries that many private schools offer which are usually pretty finely tuned not to allow anyone below an “acceptable” level of genteel poverty in!

Nope but then I have been here long enough to know that you will never accept that you are wrong about anything Grin.

I personally know five families on bursaries, two are 100%. I will even tell you the school’s. Tonbridge School, Walthamstow Hall, Sevenoaks School and Sackville.
Sevenoaks Prep did bursaries as did my dc prep school.

Lots of chat from people who have an axe to grind and few facts to share.

One of mine has SN, it was the state school parents (two schools) who joined in the bullying of her and social isolation.

Parents are the same all over, you can’t make ridiculous sweeping judgements. I suggest if OP is unhappy she change school.