To be disappointed with the school mums

[tipsandtricks]

Supposedly “naice” area, private school (which may or may not make a difference, I don’t know) and some of the mothers are just not nice people!

They gossip, they show off, they try to manipulate the teachers (and it works with some), they do not discipline their children, they are competitive to the point of making nasty remarks to 4 year olds if they have won a prize and their child hasn’t and they flout the school rules (hair length, uniform, no fighting) because they are paying so “what are they going to do?!” 😕

I don’t know what I was expecting but this is like a group of mean girls who have had children and still think they are in the playground.

Kerching! There we have it cliche bingo.

Dads...They're much more straightforward and don't see the need to be so emotionally invested

These qualities are not unique to men.

Are you really suggesting straightforward and not emotionally over invested are predominately male traits.

School gate is shorthand I of course mean all the events not just at the school gate

Overcompensating, the act of over compensating in an area when one feels consciously or unconsciously neglectful about another area. You’ve applied it to working mums,are you suggesting they feel guilty about working so overcompensate in other aspects.

Are you really suggesting straightforward and not emotionally over invested are predominately male traits

Broadly, that's probably true

@LipstickHandbagCoffee yes I am. In this arena. I don't see or hear about men wringing their hands in despair about school gates etiquette. It's just not even on my husbands radar. He does the school run drops them and gets out of there. I don't think men are the same in this respect why are you picking me up on this? We're not the same!

Also cliches happen to be cliches often for a good reason. It might not fit your world view but it certainly resonates with me.

DSHathaway

I'm old enough to be your mother, God I feel old today

I found that those who gossiped or were just friendly type at the gate were sahm's. I have met a couple of Sahd's who hung around a bit to make sure they were up with what they needed to be, the same as the sahm's were doing.
So all those who socialised weren't gossiping about others, although the ones that did have a good bitch and gossip were women.
I don't think that's sexist, just true.

School mum cliques have never been on my radar in 12 years if pick ups - and I’m no man! Who cares? Just get your kids. If there are people worth a chat, then great. If not, no loss. I just can’t imagine why people bother about any of this. In my experience, most people are lovely. Who needs drama at 3.30 Mon-Fri? Who even has the energy to care?

Prozac, why are you picking me up on this?We're not the same!
That’s how threads work someone(you) posts and someone else responds (me)
It’s not personal,if you post an opinion then yes you’re inviting it to be picked up
of course you can refute what I’m saying and disagree with me.thats the point

@Lipstick, ah ok! I didn't think you meant me but wanted to check!

@RomanyQueen sorry!

@LipstickHandbagCoffee thanks for pointing out the nuances of social media.

My meaning being I don't understand why you are picking me up on this. It's fairly obvious given the reams of posts about this topic and column inches in the media - although yes clearly a generalisation.

So what we're saying is most of you would prefer it if the dads did the school gates cos blokes are really nice?

“So what we're saying is most of you would prefer it if the dads did the school gates cos blokes are really nice?”
Yup. That ol’ Internalised Misogyny comes a’callin’ again.....

Not at all what I'm saying.

What I am saying is that women are more invested in friendships with other mums at the gates of school - for WHATEVER reason right or wrong - and I don't think men generally feel the same.

Also no surprise that lots of women are drivers of social events within their marriage. I hear it loads of times. We're just better connectors. It's a fact. Why do you think the demographic of Instagram is largely female? We seek each other out.

well Prozac if you’re a dab hand at forums why are you askin daft questions?

Calling out social differences between the sexes is not "inherent misogyny".

This was the question you posed @LipstickHandbagCoffee and I answered it.

Are you really suggesting straightforward and not emotionally over invested are predominately male traits

Are you struggling to recall posts inc your own Prozac
you posted I don't think dads DO care. They're much more straightforward and don't see the need to be so emotionally invested

I in no way suggested that “straightforward and not emotionally over invested are predominately male traits”...That was you

I know you didn't. Jeez. I'm going to park this pointless exchange here.

OP I agree with you. Posted my opinion. Cheers.

I honestly don't understand why you two are arguing - you're both of the viewpoint that school mums are problematic.

@YemenRoadYemen not arguing at all! Not going to respond anymore to people who try and derail threads with incomprehensible pedantry.

I think the dads are nicer and more chilled.

It only takes one. We’ve got one unfortunately. They divide the parents and ignore the normal people! The school tolerates them, they may have a teacher or two in their pocket.

But you should pity them. They are not liked by anyone, not even their crowd. Just ignore and have your life.

3 form entry school....One ghastly woman told me she was pleased her dd was in the class rather than one of the other two because the parents were chavs in the other ones.

I wish my child was in one of the other two classes...the so called chav parents are much nicer!

She blanks me now, so I presume she had realised I'm a chav too

I think the dads are nicer and more chilled.

And how would you describe yourself? 'Nice'? 'Chilled'?

Or is that only for the men.

Love the dads too. In fact blokes generally do everything better than them hysterical females with all their emotions spilling out everywhere and oh - the endless inane chatter....