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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed in DH

114 replies

Whatkatyforgottodo · 31/03/2019 08:29

Just had to practically kick my husband out of bed to make me breakfast in bed with DD that he’d promised me for mother’s day. Not the start to the day I’d hoped for. So AIBU to be a bit disappointed?

OP posts:
JonSlow · 31/03/2019 08:33

Why did you have to?

glasshalf · 31/03/2019 08:38

Be grateful he actually did , my OH is still lying there totally forgotten it's Mother's Day right now.

Lala503 · 31/03/2019 08:38

I feel you. Been up since 6.30 with DS which obviously feels like 5.30...
DH has just woken from his nice lie-in in the spare room. Flopped on the bed with me and moaned how he still feels tired after 10 hours sleep.
I stared at him. He has just lumbered downstairs to make me a coffee and yes- I had to ask first Angry

Stopandlook · 31/03/2019 08:39

How rubbish! Not that much to ask.

stayathomer · 31/03/2019 08:43

Just enjoy the day! I had to mention it was mother's day as the kids came in and tell them daddy was helping them make breakfast. They dragged him out of bed. I'd say this is more the case then those ads where the dad and it's appear at the foot of the bed with everything you can imagine!!

PoppyHxx · 31/03/2019 08:45

My partners now playing his games just like every morning while im in bed and the babys sleeping in her cot. Can tell my very first mothers day is going to be very special 😪

Perty01234 · 31/03/2019 08:48

I would just count your blessings, you have little ones that love you unconditionally. Far lucky than those who are struggling out there... treasure them and make memories with them today rather than being hung up on not getting a brew or having to make brekkie

Dramatical · 31/03/2019 08:49

So AIBU to be a bit disappointed?

Of course you are. You are not even out of bed yet and already on a downer for the day!

Are you always so negative?

Decormad38 · 31/03/2019 08:49

It’s always been the girls who have mobilised dh when they needed his help with mothers day. Now one is at uni coming home later and the other no longer needs him so she’s just brought in a lovely home made card and making me a cuppa.

Nathansmommy1 · 31/03/2019 08:50

My dp thinks nothing of occasions, even though i dont want much from them, a card would be nice. BUT luckily my 5 year old has taken after me, when we were out yesterday I told him he could get a happy mothers day canvas to paint for his Nanny and then he said he wanted to get one for me too so that was my present this morning. Dp didn't get a card as usual and he's had to go out to work unexpectedly for a couple of hours, so I got up and cooked breakfast for me and ds and now ds has said I can watch what I like on tv for the day Smile. If you don't expect anything from your dh then you won't be disappointed, I make my own happiness

Nanny0gg · 31/03/2019 08:51

Are you always so negative?

Maybe she has cause to be.

exLtEveDallas · 31/03/2019 08:52

I'm the first one up (as always) and today will be just like any other Sunday except we are going out for breakfast at 10am (because DD is in at gym comp at 1pm so we'll be out the rest of the day). I suppose I'm 'lucky' in that I've never really set much store in Mother's Day - I like a card from DD but even then it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't get one - I know she loves me.

I sympathise with those who do feel it's a big day though, and I hope you are made to feel special.

Dramatical · 31/03/2019 08:54

Maybe she has cause to be

Maybe she does, that's kind of why I asked.

givemesteel · 31/03/2019 09:09

Well I'm up with my dc but in bed (they're watching cartoons on ipad = great parenting) whilst dh is asleep.

It honestly doesn't really bother me, we're a partnership, and I'm just better in the morning than he is but he's great at doing stuff they love like taking them swimming or to the playground and I get the breaks then.

Obviously if your dh has form for being shit that's one thing. But if you're both pulling your weight and trying then it's better to not get into a grump about a very small thing.

Thatoneoverthere · 31/03/2019 09:14

Just remember this come father's Day, not in a petty way just in a 'this is how we treat mother's and father's day' and wait until your kids get older and make mother's day what you want Flowers

Original poster
Whatkatyforgottodo · 31/03/2019 09:17

Thanks for all your comments. I’m glad I’m not the only one! He’s generally pretty good although I’ve been getting a bit annoyed with him recently, I think he thinks we have a fair division of housework etc and I don’t and so this morning just felt like the straw that broke the camels back! He’s looking after the kids downstairs now though while I relax in bed so he’s redeeming himself! Grin

OP posts:
KnitterOfSocks · 31/03/2019 09:22

Mine disappeared off to a rugby tournament (he coaches U9's) with our son about 8.30 leaving me to take the girls to rugby for their groups so I'm currently freezing my ASS off sulking about my lost hour of sleep...

PurpleCrazyHorse · 31/03/2019 09:24

Bit similar here, but after the momentous Mother's Day a few years ago where dinner was DH cooking frozen fish and chips (just the standard ones we usually have, not even anything nice), I now tell him what I want for dinner (or he's free to book something!).

I think it's just the lack of appreciation and thought in general, rather than lack of gift/breakfast/cuppa.

Marchinupandownagain · 31/03/2019 09:24

"DP didn't get a card" - why should he, you're not his mother?

AlphaJura · 31/03/2019 09:25

I had to ask last night if mine was going to get up and make me a cup of tea this morning (I normally do it every single morning). He said he felt a bit put out because he was 'planning' to anyway. I woke up because the baby woke up and banged her head on her cot so had to get her out. I then had to change her nappy while he was still struggling to get up. Then I took her downstairs because she was getting bored. I've gone back up and he has brought me a cup of tea but no idea if anything else is planned and I hope he's getting the baby some breakfast and milk. I suppose I'd better give him a chance! My other 2 dcs are with their dad but I shall see them later. Dd has already given me a card and some chocolates. Not sure if ds will bother. I don't expect much, but to not have to get up and do everything would be nice. Hope you have a good day. Thanks

Peachy92 · 31/03/2019 09:27

Nope not UR! My 1st one too and did he offer to do the early feed? No. He knows all I've wanted for 3 months is a lie in without being the one to jump up for our DS. But he bought cards so he thinks that's more important, buying stuff is easier. He also reminded me when I pointed this out that "I wanted a baby".... yes dear I did, I just didn't realise I was a single mum! I stupidly thought we'd SHARE responsibility of him 🙄

Dramatical · 31/03/2019 09:27

"DP didn't get a card" - why should he, you're not his mother?

Presumably because the 5yo can't just nip out and buy one? It's kind of normal for one parent to buy the card for the small child to give to the other?

Angellucy07 · 31/03/2019 09:28

Some of are single mums and just a normal day for us.
It doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I'm just happy with the cuddles and the cards my children have made.

Lllot5 · 31/03/2019 09:29

All this angst about a day. How are you treated the other 364? Well? If not that’s your issue.

CostanzaG · 31/03/2019 09:30

You are not being unreasonable and neither are all the other posters whose partners can't be arsed to make some effort on Mother's Day.
The very least you should be able to expect is a lie in and some breakfast.

What sort of message is this teaching your children?

Hope you all manage to have a lovely day