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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed in DH

114 replies

Whatkatyforgottodo · 31/03/2019 08:29

Just had to practically kick my husband out of bed to make me breakfast in bed with DD that he’d promised me for mother’s day. Not the start to the day I’d hoped for. So AIBU to be a bit disappointed?

OP posts:
greeneyedlulu · 31/03/2019 09:32

Yes I've got the hump a bit this morning too. I was up with DS at 7.30 making his breakfast and my partner was still in bed and I've come down to barely any breakfast stuff, ds had the last of the bread, so now need to nip to the shop.
I begrudge this more as my partner is currently out of work so I've told him point blank he is in charge of the running the house, I'm not working a full time job, whilst pregnant and doing everything around the house including meal planning and shopping!!
And the only 'gift' I have is the £3 token gift I paid for from DS's school which I got so he didn't feel left out at school. So I have a nearly dead bunch of daffs and a cupcake that's been shoved in at the back of the wardrobe since Friday.
What's more annoying is thinking that today would be any different, that's where I've gone wrong Hmm

Futureisland · 31/03/2019 09:34

8:30 (when it would have been 7:30) is pretty early? Did he know you were awake? Maybe he was trying to give you a long lie or were you already up?

CostanzaG · 31/03/2019 09:36

nathansmommy I know we are all responsible for our own happiness but it's not too much to ask that a partner would want to make you happy too. It's outrageous that he doesn't get you a card.

polarpig · 31/03/2019 09:39

It's outrageous that he doesn't get you a card.

No it's not. OP isn't his mother.

whiskeysourpuss · 31/03/2019 09:39

DD stayed out last night, I got a text saying "happy Mother's Day I'll be home just after 11" & DS is still zonked... if I want a cuppa I'll be making it myself (which to be fair means it will at least be drinkable).

It's just another day in this house. I find if you set the day up as something special & expect all the hallmark shite then you'll just end up disappointed.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 31/03/2019 09:39

I'm enjoying the peace and quiet while they're all still in bed. I made myself a naice coffee and bunged some frozen croissants in the oven. Drank my coffee, made another one and I am now MNing with crumbs everywhere and apricot jam all round my mouth... Grin

pictish · 31/03/2019 09:41

Do you all mark Fathers Day the same way? Not being argumentative...it’s a genuine ask.

MrsRhubarb · 31/03/2019 09:44

This is my fifth Mothers Day, and is the best one so far. This is entirely thanks to school! God bless DD's tacher, who has drilled into the entire class that mummy must be allowed to stay in bed all day, and have breakfast and everything else brought to her. DD does everything her teacher tells her, so has been telling DH about this all week and what she needs him to do. He doesn't dare risk the hysterics that would be involved if he was the one that spoilt it! I have had to negotiate to be allowed to sit on the sofa, as I was a bit bored upstairs, and that has been permitted as long as I have a blanket so I can pretend it is a bed. I am giving her teacher a high five on Monday morning!

AwdBovril · 31/03/2019 09:45

I have had to get up with DD this morning because DH has again not slept well. (Chronic insomniac.) I can hear him moving about upstairs now though. DH did at least get me something this year though, usually he doesn't because "I'm not his mother"... bloody cheek. Soon gets the hump if I don't do something for Father's day though!

CostanzaG · 31/03/2019 09:45

polarpig no but he’s the father of a 5 year old who presumably can’t just pop to to shop? The card is from the child not him but he needs to facilitate that.......or do we all need to wait until our children have their own money and can shop independently before we get card and gifts from them?

CostanzaG · 31/03/2019 09:47

Do you all mark Fathers Day the same way? Not being argumentative...it’s a genuine ask.

Of course....100%.

polarpig · 31/03/2019 09:49

.or do we all need to wait until our children have their own money and can shop independently before we get card and gifts from them?

No, not at all. They can draw us pictures and so on can't they? I have pictures on my fridge/bedroom wall that my DCs did when they were about that age.

CostanzaG · 31/03/2019 09:53

What about when they are babies polar? It’s really not too much of an ask for the father of your children to buy you a card on mother’s day.

The whole ‘ but you aren’t my mother’ is just lazy bullshit.

Joebloggswazere · 31/03/2019 09:54

Oh Jesus Polarpig, buying a card for your child to give their mother is called being nice and a caring partner. That is the bare minimum effort you should expect and anything less is just shitty. No, I am not my OHs mother but he is a loving caring husband and always gets me a card and present off the kids, because it’s a nice thing to do.

HennyPennyHorror · 31/03/2019 09:55

I just can't care about a manufactured day...it's made up!

howabout · 31/03/2019 09:55

YABU

I had to tell my teenager that the Weather man reminded me at bedtime I was getting an hour less in bed unless I was a Mum in which case I was getting breakfast in bed.

Was just as nice even though I had to agitate for it.

Ok101 · 31/03/2019 09:56

Meh. I have 3dc pregnant with dc4. He told them he will take them to get flowers tomorrow. I said not ti worry. We are having a normal day at work as dh has to go to work. Especially as it is mothers day and a busy day for the business. Not bothered. Kids made a card at school. I was pleased with that. Its just another day. Fathers day is treated the same

CostanzaG · 31/03/2019 09:57

hennypenny so are most things....doesn’t mean they aren’t nice!

Dramatical · 31/03/2019 10:02

so are most things....doesn’t mean they aren’t nice!

It does mean it's not worth getting upset about. It's one day. Last Saturday I landed a long lie followed by breakfast in bed. It was just pure chance that DH got up and I stayed sleeping. That meant more to me that a forced long lie on a specific day ever will.

Dramatical · 31/03/2019 10:02

*worth getting upset about Blush

Dramatical · 31/03/2019 10:03

Ignore that! My first was correct Blush

HennyPennyHorror · 31/03/2019 10:03

Cos well they're not nice if the people who are supposed to display their love for a certain person on a certain day don't do it. YOu can't make people participate. If they don't feel the urge...they don't feel the urge.

CostanzaG · 31/03/2019 10:06

I think it is worth getting upset about. It’s utterly shit to know that your partner can’t be arsed to make a tiny bit of effort.....yes it should be a regular occurrence and work both ways but it doesn’t mean it isn’t rubbish to be ignored on Mother’s Day.

Friendabc · 31/03/2019 10:07

Mothering Sunday is not a manufactured day!
It's been around since Roman Times and was a day out aside for children to acknowledge and spend time with their mother/family.
Once the Romans left Britain the tradition was continued. It gave working children the chance to go home from their service jobs and see their mother.
Otherwise they didn't get a day off.
Fathers day is a manufactured day.

Willow2017 · 31/03/2019 10:07

DP didn't get a card" - why should he, you're not his mother?

^^
The standard sarcastic put down to amy mum feeling a bit unappreciated every sodding year on mn.

My ex may not have been perfect but when kids were small he always took them to buy me a card and gift for mothers day just as i did on fathers day. That's just what parents do if the kids cant go themselves.
Why is that such a difficult concept for sone people? Its one day a year ffs.