Can't Commit to being Babysitters - Are we being unfair?

[PeterTD1]

My wife and I are loving grandparents and love spending time with ouf son and his family. My daughter in law works part time and has childcare and my wife who also works part time often helps out. We are due to retire this year and have lots of plans especially travel. Problem is DIL wants to work full time and has more or less presumed we will have children 2 days per week. However we dont want to commit. We have worked hard and want to be able to have freedom to book a week in the sun and go the next day. We would of course help if we are at home but we want to live our own lives and have freedom. Her own parents never have the kids and only visit sporadically (and only live 6 miles away) and son and dil think they are wonderful but never ask them to babysit for reasons never explained. Are we being unfair?

No point asking OP any questions, he's not coming back, and that question has already been asked numerous times.

You are not being unfair if you talk to your son at the earliest opportunity about your retirement plans. Simply say that you are looking forward to having no regular commitments and being able to go away at short notice. It sounds as if you all regard childcare arrangements as DIL's responsibility but when they both are working full-time surely it will be down to both of them.

I assume you have discussed your plans with your wife? Is she giving up her part-time job when you retire or is it something she will be able (and willing) to leave for weeks at a time with very little notice?

Nope. You do what you want. I fork out a fortune for childcare. Grandparents aren't childcarers
Your dil can't presume. Just talk to them.

My parents have never provided childcare for me. They did for all my nieces and nephews but both my sisters had kids way before I did.
Now my parents are much older and moved abroad so it's not possible

This thread has some very narrow perspectives. My parents worked full time & used various different (non-family) childcare. It doesn't mean they didn't raise me . Like others here, I have never expected my parents to give up retirement to commit to regular childcare, they spent years juggling full time work & their own young family & now deserve the break. Plus they devoted much of their finances to us growing up which limited their own holidays, I'm so glad they can choose to spend their money on travel now.