AIBU to be prematurely pissed off about Mothers day?

[SongforSal]

We have 2 teen DC'S. The eldest came back from Uni a couple of days ago.

I work full time, I also do 100% of the cooking and the majority of the housework. DH will wash the dinner things up maybe 3 times a week at a push.

I am flat out fucking exhausted. I ensure the house is clean, everyone has nutritious meals. During work hours I liaise with the youngest school at least 3 times per week as he has special needs. I make meal plans each week for us, and also send a food shop to our eldest at Uni. I pay the bills, budget our money, sort all areas of finance.

Today I got up at 7.30 am (my biggest lay in in a long time!) after a particularly shocking and long day at work yesterday and cooked up a fanfare for my family and parents, and have been hosting all day. After giving my mother gifts as I wont see her tomorrow DH tells me he has not got me anything for tomorrow so don't be disappointed, nor has he arranged anything as he has been too busy with work and has been preoccupied with getting a new car. He then tells me 'Well you aren't my mother'.

I expect I will get a card of the DC's....Other than that, tomorrow will be spent with me ironing, making the youngest lunchbox for school. Cooking a roast dinner and washing up, washing, cleaning the bathroom and all the other shit work.

I'm not mad I haven't any gifts, but seriously! A bit of thought? It's not even like we are strapped for cash and that's a consideration. After tomorrows over and I have facilitated everyone I am back to work again for the week.

Would it be unreasonable to fuck of for the day tomorrow and leave them to it?

Oh for goodness sake! Shopping for your child at uni?! And all the rest. How the heck are they going to learn? Tell them all to grow up, stop being super woman. They’re not appreciating your super skills!

I'd get rid of the lazy dh to be honest.

I did that today... Fecked off with my mam and dad drinking wine and now sitting eating a take away for one and in bed.... Glorious day!! 😂

Go on strike. Stop allowing your family to walk all over you.

I'm with you OP. If you fancy a week away and don't tell the fuckers where you're going or for how long I'll join you. Mothers Day ugh..

Plenty advice from others on here OP so I won’t add.
Just want to wish all the mums out there a happy mother’s day,💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

I think it's time to start enabling others to do things themselves as opposed to doing it for them. Uni child can do their own shopping gor example. You don't have to cook a roast every Sunday, if your DH can't be bothered then him and the kids will have to manage with whatever they can be bothered with. I'd also employ a cleaner. Sometimes what people do is not appreciated until they simply stop doing it.

I feel your disillusion. I hope someone got up & bought a bunch of flowers ?
I would have suggested that you all go to the pub for Lunch
or They cook you Lunch
or They all clean the house as a gift
or you spend the day alone doing something that gives you time away from the leeches

OP I hope you did something yesterday to enjoy Mothers' Day.

I agree with PPs that you have made a rod for your own back. You have taken on responsibility for doing all these things and, unless you've expressed your dissatisfaction with the status quo, why would your family think you have a problem with it?

You need to sit down and come up with some sort of division of household chores. You need to let your child at uni do their own shopping now they are away from home. It's part of growing up and you are depriving them of the experience that will help them develop. Good parenting also involves empowering your children to help them grow into responsible adults.

As for budgeting, both parents need to know what is going on with finances if you expect the other not to be financially irresponsible.

As things are, heaven forbid if anything was to happen to you, your family would be on a steep learning curve. Empower them now and stop being overly kind to others and be kinder to yourself.

I think you need to change your online name to SHIRLEY VALENTINE,take yourself off somewhere and forget about them for a while!

In reality, the time has come (though may be too late) to get the hubby and eldest to pick up some of the chores 😉
Good luck!

Try this
www.amazon.co.uk/Woman-Your-Own-Right-Assertiveness/dp/070437269X/ref=sr_1_1?hvlocphy=1006605&hvnetw=g&keywords=a+woman+in+your+own+right&hvadid=259095373364&qid=1554109816&s=gateway&hvpos=1t1&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=kwd-320451208514&adgrpid=54820865978&hvrand=15787680893772253514&sr=8-1
Published in 1982, you have some catching up to do.

Please OP come back and tell us what you ended up doing yesterday.

I think you either need to drop to part time working outside the home or delegate all the domestic chores between yourself, husband and kids. If that isn't doable then you need paid help.

Your husband should also wake up and read this thread. His behaviour is appallingly selfish and he needs to know it.

I hope you managed to have some form of Mother's Day treat yesterday.

I got no acknowledgment, card or gift either. I have just one child, 16 yo DS who is the most abusive and selfish teenager on the planet. My dh made me my evening meal and a cup of tea though