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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask whether you’re happy?

196 replies

bellinique · 29/03/2019 22:57

Hello
Sorry if this has been covered before but I have been debating this a lot recently, both with my DH and internally.
My question is: If you were stopped on the street and asked whether you are happy, would you say yes or no?
Obviously this is not very nuanced but I would be really interested in your gut reaction to this question.
I don’t want to add more and make it a leading question because I having differing opinions to my DH but your answers would be very helpful in resolving our debate.
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

Designerenvy · 30/03/2019 23:53

Overall I'm happy. I have days where I feel down and lonely , even when surrounded by people.
My life is so much better than I expected and I'm very grateful for that.
However , I do have moments when I'm just sad . I'm not even sure what I'm sad about though, if that makes sense .

AyoadesChinDimple · 30/03/2019 23:55

I'm happy.

I have two genuinely lovely kids and after getting out of a godawful relation ship and then being a single mum for years I've found someone who I really just love being with.

I've got some pretty scary health issues and a condition that causes me daily pain. I was in a dark place recently and didn't know if I could overcome it. But I'm surrounded by supportive friends and family (even though I haven't told most of them the extent of my health concerns) so I do know how lucky I am.

As a previous poster said I know I'm happy because I want music on. In my bad years I wouldn't listen to any.

Now I enjoy walking in fresh air whilst I'm still able to do so

VanillaBlossom · 31/03/2019 00:01

That has totally hit home about the listening music...it has only been in the past year I have enjoyed it again, and tv also.

JaceLancs · 31/03/2019 00:03

It varies from day to day or even minute to minute
I’m a glass half full person and wake up every morning with a positive mood which can last 5 seconds or all day
I’ve had a lot of horrible things happen - worse than usual in last 15 months but every now and again the cloud lifts
Had fabulous good news on Thursday which I can’t share but made me happy despite the turmoil going on around me

babyno5 · 31/03/2019 00:45

@bellinique yes I'm happy.
My life isn't ideal-health issues stopping me from working, income has halved, money tight etc. But I have suffered from depression and anxiety and had lots of meds an therapy in the past. Now med free and I'm in a happy place. My family are healthy and I love having the time with them that I wouldn't if I was working. Feel less materialistic than 12 months ago x

Purpleartichoke · 31/03/2019 02:15

Yes, I am Happy

I’ve got plenty of very real problems. My own body is trying to kill me. My mom died last year and the relationship with my dad is complicated. My dd is suffering from anxiety attack’s that are ruling our lives.

But I am happy. I love my DH and DD. I love our home. I love my job.

It took a bad marriage, some soul-sucking jobs, and giving up my fantasy of a more cosmopolitan life to get here, but I found my bliss.

EmpressLesbianInChair · 31/03/2019 03:10

Yes. I wouldn’t have said that ten years ago but now I’m divorced, with a wonderful friendship group, a flat all to myself (childfree by choice) & a job I love.

echt · 31/03/2019 03:16

I think happy is moments, rather than a continuous state, the latter a rather American concept.

I prefer contented. Which I mostly was.

I have happy moments, though not many. It all turned to shit when my DH died, so now contented is out there with the happy moments.

RomanticFatigue · 31/03/2019 03:26

After a terrible couple of years I have come out the other side sane and intact. That in itself makes me happy and I hope I never take life for granted ever again.

emotionalaffair · 01/04/2019 09:29

@Tachy @bellinique Thank you. I'm hoping we come through this stronger.

Hiddenaspie1973 · 01/04/2019 09:39

I'd say I should be but I'm not.

dottydally · 01/04/2019 10:19

I'm with @RomanticFatigue. I didn't know it at the time but I had had a very easy ride until a couple of years ago. We have had the most horrendous 2 years but I've amazed myself at my own strength.

It's made me realise I have a wonderful family and the best friends. DP is the light in my life and I am so very grateful to have him.

I'm now expecting our first baby. It is the best thing that has happened to us in a long time and I feel like it is a turning point. Life still has its trials but I can finally, honestly, say I'm happy.

peachgreen · 01/04/2019 11:17

Yes. Life is quite tough at the moment (lots of illness and a toddler!) but I'm happy and contented regardless. Wonderful husband, healthy and happy daughter, lovely place to live, job I enjoy. I'd like to be healthier, slimmer, have more time to myself to pursue a hobby and be slightly financially better off, but I'm still happy.

CostanzaG · 01/04/2019 11:20

Yes i'm happy.

I've been through some pretty horrendous things in my life but i'm a naturally positive person so I've never let them define me or my happiness.

Yes there are times when things feel a bit shit but i genuinely feel that life is a blessing and is to be enjoyed.

Crazyhairymary · 01/04/2019 12:48

I’ve never really been able to define happiness to myself. I therefore struggle to know if I am happy or not. I always feel like life is a bit samey. We wake, we eat, we work, we eat, we watch TV, we sleep etc etc etc kids take up a lot of our lives and before ou know it 30 becomes 50 and you have the feeling of “was that it? I am generally happy but always wonder if I could be happier....

snowball28 · 01/04/2019 13:19

Not really no, feel really worn down, exhausted and just plain fed up. In fact I haven’t been happy for a very long time. About 3 years I’d say.

Wheretheresawill1 · 01/04/2019 14:08

I am finally happy and feel normal after 20yrs of bipolar disorder. My medication was added to last year and I just feel so normal now and content. Life has not been easy though

Karatema · 01/04/2019 14:16

Just read your OP and not PPs and realised I'm NOT happy.

I hate my job but am a 50s baby so can't retire yet and when I do I'll just be on state pension. My husband is talking about expanding the business and, the last few years have been a struggle for me (the business is doing very well).

I'd love a granddaughter but, yet another, grandson is on the way!

YES, I KNOW I'M A SELFISH COW!

Raffles1981 · 01/04/2019 17:17

Yes. For the first time in my life, I am genuinely happy with my lot. It's taken me a long time to get here, lots of hard work and emotional pain but yes - I am.

Princessmama18 · 01/04/2019 17:23

I am happy and grateful for what I have but I think life gets in the way sometimes and we need to remind ourselves to live in the moment and stop waiting to be happy

happyhillock · 01/04/2019 17:27

Generally happy, have had a few hiccups in life managed to get over them, have down day's but mostly happy

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