To ask whether you’re happy?

[bellinique]

Hello
Sorry if this has been covered before but I have been debating this a lot recently, both with my DH and internally.
My question is: If you were stopped on the street and asked whether you are happy, would you say yes or no?
Obviously this is not very nuanced but I would be really interested in your gut reaction to this question.
I don’t want to add more and make it a leading question because I having differing opinions to my DH but your answers would be very helpful in resolving our debate.
Thanks in advance.

I'm thoroughly content. There's nothing in my life I want desperately to change except for things totally out of my control (mostly health issues during my current pregnancy - I'm actually writing this from a hospital bed because I've been admitted again for the fourth time this month).

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference." - this is how I stay happy (minus the God bit).

I’m very happy at the moment, I genuinely have moments where it makes me tearful when I stop and think of how lucky I am. I think it’s because I had a truly terrible childhood. I remember standing in a bridge age 14 thinking about jumping. Somehow I kept going, I escaped and moved far away. Now I’m in my 30s, met and married the love of my life some years ago. We gave a happy little home, children, a cute dog and I’m successful in my career. I feel genuinely safe and loved - it’s the best feeling in the world.

It's a facetious question. No-one can be happy all the time, it's ridiculous. Am I content with my lot and at peace with myself? Mostly, yes.

@BeanTownNancy
God bless you (minus the god bit)

I am very unhappy, lying here crying and trying to do it quietly to not wake DS who is sleeping in my bed tonight. I’m trying to do all the right things - therapy and medication. But I can’t seem to move forwards. I feel like I will be alone forever.

If someone in the street asked me, I would say yes. But that is s lie.

@PseuDenim - I have those days too. I'm so sorry. They're horrific. Big hugs x

@PseuDenim
Oh PseuDenim, I’m so sorry you feel like that. Please try to remember that this too shall pass.
It sounds like you’re feeling terrible at the moment and I do understand how hard that is. This can and will get better though, please just hang on in there. Nothing is permanent and you will feel differently again in time.

Thank you. It’s the time of night when it feels like there’s nobody else out there so it’s good to know there is. I find the weekends so hard sometimes, I love my DS with all my heart and I make sure we see lots of friends and so on, but I feel so alone still. I want to know that I will eventually meet someone again and not face the abyss of old age by myself but I just cannot visualise it.

@SnowsInWater, please come and join us on the support thread in General Health- we all know what you're going through

I'm happy. I've recently been diagnosed with Stage 4 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, which will obviously kill me at some point, and I lost my lovely dad a couple of weeks ago. If anything, it makes me appreciate my life more, and the people in it whom I love. So many things I'd usually stress about have just fallen away.

I like some others think that I am fortunate in that I don’t compare myself to other.
I suppose that I am pretty low maintenance.
I have had challenges in life , loss of businesses, jobs and home. There have also been a number of deaths of close friends and family. However, I try my utmost to appreciate life and in that respect one could say that I am content most of the time.

Very happy. Bordering on ecstatic some days.

Wish I could give some advice but I don’t think it’s anything to do with my outlook and instead all down to the path I’ve stumbled on in life. 10 years ago I was in my early 20s and somewhat unsatisfied with life. In those ten years I got a great degree, a series of good jobs, lots of great things happened to my family. I met good friends and made the choice to let go of bad ones. I met my soulmate, the true love of my life, and am getting married next month. I am constantly aware of how lucky I am and feel happy all the time. But I also think I would drop to devastated in a heartbeat if I lost these things. I am very much affected by things out of my control, and it’s really quite unsettling to know my happiness is solely based on things out of my hands. I wish I could be one of those ‘always happy’ people but the truth is I am happy because I have been very blessed, and I don’t think I would take it well if I went the other way.

I can't remember ever being happy. I have alot to be thankful for and have happy moments sometimes, but generally happy and content? No.

I'm thankful for alot of good things in my life but my mental health prevents me from enjoying life the way other people can.

No, I never will be

How do you figure that, hopl?

@BitOfFun

Haven't been truly happy for years and years and now I deal with the fact that I am unhappy. Don't make a big deal about it just is a fact! Mainly due to the likes of depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia etc. I will get days where I feel better than others but generally it's all gloomy

Well I hope things improve for you- don't give up: it's rare for things to never change.

@BitOfFun

Thank you :) x

No, I'm not. My life has been more trouble than it's been worth, and I wish I had never existed.

Happy! connect with yourself, remember your dreams from years ago, cut out bad vibes and anyone who brings you down, keep good friends that always tell you the truth especially when you forget to look after yourself! Always eat well, and go out to treat yourself to alone time regularly. If you're a mother, remind yourself you existed as an individual before too and co-exist in both identities with confidence. Don't worry about what is expected of you, you have your own expectations of self that trump everyone else's:)

Yes. I have a beautiful son, our own home (mortgage), a job I like and there’s money in the bank to pay the gas bill.

I’m a single mum and happy that way for now. I feel very lucky.

Oh Time40, I hope things get better soon.

Can you get up early tomorrow, take a cup of coffee and go watch the sun come up. Or go down. That always makes me calmer and more able to cope. Just 10 minutes for you. x

connect with yourself, remember your dreams from years ago, cut out bad vibes and anyone who brings you down, keep good friends that always tell you the truth especially when you forget to look after yourself! Always eat well, and go out to treat yourself to alone time regularly. If you're a mother, remind yourself you existed as an individual before too and co-exist in both identities with confidence. Don't worry about what is expected of you, you have your own expectations of self that trump everyone else's

Yes. Good advice. I do all those things, and I really wouldn't mind if I didn't wake up tomorrow morning.

Oh Time40, I hope things get better soon

Thank you. That's sweet of you. xxxx

I think we make our own happiness. I am currently very happy. I had to leave a disastrous marriage and move 5000 miles to find it but I’m happy.

I’d say so. There’s things I’d change and things that frustrate me ( mostly about myself ha ha) but I tend not to dwell on stuff too much ( the past is for refeeence, not residence), and focus on the positives. This year I have also made a conscious effort to avoid stressing about things not within my control.