Helping your married dd

[MrsCasares]

Just canvassing opinions as don’t want to be an interfering mum.

Dd and her dh both work full time. Dd gets into work about 7.30am and doesn’t finish until after 7pm. Same goes for her dh.

They have no kids yet.

Aibu to offer to come in on a Friday and clean their house (for free) so they have the weekend to relax.

I am retired so have plenty of me time.

God yes offer! If she declines I'll send you my address

What a lovely Mum! I’d be over the moon if someone offered me this.

I... Would be careful about that one. It's a kind thought but I wouldn't want my mother up in my business cleaning my house and if she offered it would feel like an implied judgement. A lot obviously depends on the relationship with her but most married adults want and need some degree of separation from their parents, and having your mother offer to clean your house is quite... A lot.

If they both work those hours, hopefully they have good salaries and could afford a cleaner if they wanted?

Quite normal in my social circle.

That’s fine. She will snap tour hands off!

Are you hoping the relaxing may speed up the grandchild

Wow what a lovely gesture

My MIL used to do this and i hated it. It's a nice thought but also a massive invasion

No I wouldn’t, obviously it depends on your relationship with your DD &, more importantly, your DSIL. It sounds a bit patronising to me & wanting to be over involved in your DD’s life.

Surely now you are retired it is the time to start doing things for yourself, finding new hobbies & interests, not doing other people’s cleaning . I am probably around your age, not retired yet sadly, but no way would I be spending my time cleaning for my adult DS.

Yes of course I would love that.

I would have said no. Nice thought, but too intrusive for me.

If I was your daughter, I’d love this. If I was your son-in-law, I’d hate this.

Depends on your relationship. I wouldn't be happy with my mother doing this.

I’d hate my mum/mil cleaning my house but it’s a lovely thought. Could you pay for a cleaner instead?

Another one in the queue to snap your hand off if she says no. What a kind offer.

Hell yes I'd bite your hand off!

Ask her. Say you'd like to go a quick go round the kitchen and vaccum/dust the lounge but understand if they don't want it.

They have talked about getting a cleaner. Just thought I would save them some money (and I also love cleaning). Sad, I know.

Please would you adopt me? Both me and DH are parent less - adult orphans. We have kids and pets though...

Definitely offer....just dont go through their stuff. I'm sure you wouldn't.

It that situation i would have said yes, but perhaps on a Thursday night and asked you to stay for tea.

Whatever you suggest just be clear with what's she's comfortable for you to do, for example, she may not want you to change her sheets or wash her underwear.

The one time my mum did this for me I was so grateful and so relaxed I got pregnant that weekend 😂

Sorry, but I would hate that. Really interfering. Firstly, I would take it as a criticism of our home cleanliness, secondly I'm an adult and can manage my own home.

Why would you when you could be doing something fun for you?
Tell your ddto pay a cleaner

Well if it was me I'd take it as a criticism that my house was messy. But don't know if that's just to me or my mum or what...

Ah I would love it but don't push it or get offended if they say no