To say no?

[caitbake]

Me and two friends are going away on Saturday to Edinburgh to a show,it's a 3 hour drive from us,the show starts at 8pm.
My friend is taking her car and we are each driving a hour each.
She says il pick you up at 9am,I say can you make it 9.30 am as my sons dad can't pick him up till then.
She says "no I want to beat the traffic"
I said "30 mins is hardly going to make a lot of difference"
She says "well il get there slightly after 9"
There's nothing I can do,I won't be ready till 9.30am
I ask what's the plan when we get there and she says they are going to have a couple of hours napping in hotel.
So rushing and we aren't even exploring.
Aibu here?
I've said 3 times I can't be ready till 9.30 am
I'm not doing it to be awkward.

You are not being unreasonable your friend is being a dick! Does she expect you to leave your child alone until his father arrives?

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Is your friend going to sit outside your house in her car for half an hour or what?

God no!
The fact is you can't leave before your son gets picked up end of!
There is no more discussion needed. I would be seriously questioning what kind of friendship this is if they don't understand why this can't work! Your not choosing to go later, you can't! Unless they expect you to leave your son home alone?

Ask your son's dad to pick him up at 9am.

Or get left behind. It's her car.

A couple of hours napping?! Are your friends toddlers?

Can you not arrange for his dad to have him from the previous night?

Chances are you won't even be able to check into the hotel until mid afternoon so why does she need to be there by 12? She is BU not to wait til 9.30 but just asking do you have form for being late? Maybe she's factoring that in. Can you guarantee to be ready to leave at 9.30?

Do you drive? Its not about rushing there to do nothing, its about beating the traffic. Half an hour can make a huge difference, there's a big difference with a 5-10min difference on my commute.

Surely leaving at 9.30 makes more sense as it's after peak morning traffic? It's not as if you have any plans for when you get there anyway so I can't see what on earth difference it makes.

I'm baffled at the napping and splitting the drive tbh. It's 3 hours not half way across the world.

Bit baffling. Half an hour won’t make a huge difference at that time on a Saturday and it’s not as if they’re in a rush to get there for a particular time, getting there to simply have a nap . Sounds like she’s being a dick for the sake of it.

Either drive yourself, make it clear again you can’t leave until 9:30 or ask your DS’s dad if there’s any way at all he can make it for 9.

Its not about rushing there to do nothing, its about beating the traffic. Half an hour can make a huge difference, there's a big difference with a 5-10min difference on my commute.
This ^^ It can make a huge difference between sailing merrily along and being sat in a traffic jam for bloody ages.

Missing traffic...... they are leaving at 9 for 3hr drive so they'll be there for 12, if the get there for 12.30 they are still going to get there about 4hrs before the rush hour traffic begins!

"No problem, I'll take my own car/get the train and see you at the hotel" would be my response.

Like a PP I'm completely baffled at the arrangements to drive an hour each and needing a nap after a 3 hour drive for which you're leaving at 9am . What's that all about?

I’m so pleased I don’t have friends who can’t drive for more than an hour and then need a nap to recover. Check in probably won’t be until 2 so where are they planning on napping? If I were you I’d go independently and see them there.

Is she always this unhelpful?

We decided to take 1 car to save on petrol (split 3 ways)
I've got no intention of napping,she's a precious snowflake who likes to sleep.
I know 3 hours isn't far but if we didn't all do a hour each...she would complain and she's the one who insisted it had to be her car (as it's the biggest )
My ex doesn't finish his night shift till 8am and the time he drives here it's 9.30 ..most of the time 9.15 ish but I said half past to make sure they deffo aren't waiting around.

I hope you manage to have a good trip away with a friend who has such an uncompromising attitude

@GreatDuckCookery it's always her way or no way
She's spoilt,still lives at home,waited on hand and foot etc

I'm assuming you don't drive because most drivers wish to avoid the traffic. Why didn't you just say sure but you'll need to come in for a coffee first, as my son gets collected st x time.

I actually have £40 worth of cross county train vouchers from a delayed train last year
I'm thinking of maybe just getting the train up ..it's only 2 hours and I could leave at 11 and get there for 1pm

Urgh. Well she’s going to have to come in and have a cup of tea if she insists on coming at 9am.

@Bluntness100 I do drive.
We are all doing a hour each.
I can't imagine much difference in traffic on a Saturday between 9am and 9.30 am

Definitely get the train!

She's welcome in for a coffee but she won't
She wants me to leave earlier regardless if I can or not.