To think this mum was neglectful

[mistletoeandwine86]

Was at the playground today with DH and 2yo DC, one of us was following him carefully around the climbing frames etc.

2 other mums come into playground, with 1 DC each a bit older than mine, i'd say 4 yo. One mum had a baby in pushchair too. They were chatting and not staying very close to their DC who were running around playing together. First mum then took her DD to the toilet.

Second mum stayed in playground with baby in pushchair and DS playing. Her DS climbs on a big climbing frame and she watches him but doesn't stay close. She walks round the edge pushing her baby in pushchair and he goes the other way on the climbing frame. Next thing he falls off, the mum calls him but didn't see him fall off He starts crying and she calls him again, leaves pushchair but still can't see him so my DH has to tell her that he fell off and where he is!

To be fair to her she does go straight round to him and picks him up but he fell about 3feet! AIBU to think that she should have been watching him closer?? DH and i always supervise our DS 100% on play equipment and follow him around.

I watched my youngest as 2yr a little more closely because he was very confident, sometimes misjudged what he could do and got stuck. 4yr olds don’t need a parent hovering over them. The only ones who look bad in this scenario are you and your dh for not checking on the boy if you were concerned or telling his mum where he was when she couldn’t immediately see him. I really hope you’re not following your child around like that at 4 although as some previous posts have suggested you’re pregnant with your 2nd you’re probably in for a shock.

This is ridiculous!! Who cares!! I don't hover over my kids at the park (I have 3!), and if they fall well then they learn that they need to be more careful next time. I obv don't let them do anything too dangerous but they can handle typical climbing structures. The thing is that they don't actually fall, because they know that they need to be careful because mommy isn't standing underneath them arms out and waiting to catch them lol.

Children need to be free to take risks and suffer consequences. I'm sure the child didn't suffer any permanent injury. The Mum could hear him cry and go to him. Playgrounds should be about taking risks, finding limits and testing them. It's not neglect, it's giving them the freedom to explore and grow.

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201404/risky-play-why-children-love-it-and-need-it

Oh get over yourself. How ridiculous.

Ffs

Not at all neglectful. A child fell - children fall.

ok maybe neglectful was a bit harsh but I think she could have been supervising him better

What you ‘think’ is entirely irrelevant. You helicopter parent. I ‘think’ that’s bad parenting.

No she wasn’t neglectful. You sound like a helicopter mum and dad. Follow them around the playground? Are you serious?!

Come back in a couple of years when you have a 4 year old. Then talk about following them around whilst they are screaming at you to go away.
Or at 8 and you’re not even sure who the child belongs to

No, she wasn't. It was just kids playing at the park. Loosen up a bit OP, kids need space to be kids.

When my DD was six she was playing at home when she tripped over her sister's legs, put her arms out to break her fall and badly broke her arm in 2 places. Her dad and I were watching her at the time. Accidents happen.

It's healthy to give children freedom rather than hovering over them. A small fall will likely just cause a bruise and a few minutes crying. The effect of not having the freedom to play unsupervised is more harmful.

Obviously in an age appropriate way for the child. With my two year olds I'd come close if they were particularly high and intervene if they might get a bad injury eg stepping out in front of a moving swing, but I wouldn't follow them round the playground the whole time. A sensible 4 year old I'd let them get on with it.

Well my DC could hardly get near the damn thing for parents of 2/3 year olds helicoptering the fuck out of that table. For the life of me I can’t work out what supposed hazard there was but it seemed like every small child had a parent surgically attached to them.

Michaelbaubles I'd say this was more so they were ready to stop their kid's grabbing or pushing other kids because they knew they were excited

OP especially given that mn had to step in, well done for being so level headed with your answer when everyone's having a go

🚁 🚁

I suppose it's nice when someone actually comes out and says it. It feels validating in a way. As a mum of twins I often felt like I was getting dirty looks from some parent of singletons whenever we were in the park/library/children's centre and I "couldn't control my children" (DD2 was a bolter, any time DD1 needed anything she took it as her cue to go and have a good old explore) but you tell yourself you're being paranoid. It's oddly comforting to see it said out loud, no, people do judge you.

Meh OP, you would have needed smelling salts if you ever saw me with my then 4 year old DD1 in the park. I let her run loose on the equipment (marked 5 and under) and would only look up from my book if she called. I sat by the exit so I could watch her at all times but I was never near enough to catch her. She fell dozens of times, and got back up perfectly fine.

As a result she's a bold, fearless little 6 year old who knows just what her body is capable of.

I can't believe someone has so little going on in their life, that they'd be moved to start a thread about this incident.

Unbelievable.

That’s not neglect.

There’s a massive difference between age 2 and age 4. And helicopter parenting like you are doing isn’t good for children.

You and your DH are being ridiculous.

I strongly suspect that if the mum had left her baby asleep in the pram whilst following the older child around the playground there would still have been a thread about her neglectful parenting, because what sort of a terrible parent doesn't hold onto their pram at all times?

Playgrounds are designed for children to play in, it's their entire purpose. Watching from the side of the playground is fine.

This is the world of motherhood. Everything you do is judged by someone else to be wrong. And that applies to you as well OP, people are judging you to be a poor mother as well. And I bet, like the rest of us, you don't much like the thought of that.

Op you've proven yourself to be quite pathetic here. You gleefully came on to be a bitch about another mother when you saw an accident happen, not neglect. What was the point of you running to write a post on here about it? Wanted a round of applause for yourself?

4years old is very different to 2 years.. my then 3 year old had a habit of climbing trees. Very mowgli-like. Depends on how able they are. I personally don't think what you're describing is that neglectful