To think this mum was neglectful

[mistletoeandwine86]

Was at the playground today with DH and 2yo DC, one of us was following him carefully around the climbing frames etc.

2 other mums come into playground, with 1 DC each a bit older than mine, i'd say 4 yo. One mum had a baby in pushchair too. They were chatting and not staying very close to their DC who were running around playing together. First mum then took her DD to the toilet.

Second mum stayed in playground with baby in pushchair and DS playing. Her DS climbs on a big climbing frame and she watches him but doesn't stay close. She walks round the edge pushing her baby in pushchair and he goes the other way on the climbing frame. Next thing he falls off, the mum calls him but didn't see him fall off He starts crying and she calls him again, leaves pushchair but still can't see him so my DH has to tell her that he fell off and where he is!

To be fair to her she does go straight round to him and picks him up but he fell about 3feet! AIBU to think that she should have been watching him closer?? DH and i always supervise our DS 100% on play equipment and follow him around.

A 4year old falling 3 foot? That is honestly nothing. You can't helicopter round them forever. Playgrounds tend to be quite safe and have soft ground.

I only have one child, who is 4, I certainly don't hover nearby all the time. She will learn from falling. She might graze a knee but she will be fine.

You clearly have absolutely no idea what real neglect looks like if this is your idea of it.

Just mentioned I only have one child so I don't get lumped in with the posters who say not helicoptering is to do with how many children you have...I only have one and I stand well back. Only having one isn't an excuse to hover all the time.

Honestly? op you sound like the type of parent to put your child in a wet suit to go puddle splashing. You're doing them no favours here.

OMG this is a safeguarding issue, quick, call the duty social worker and get that poor child to a place of safety.

Good luck with having two kids is all I’m going to say.

DH and i always supervise our DS 100% on play equipment and follow him around.

You spelled helicopter wrong.

Are you sure you were watching your child, seems like you were watching hers 🤷‍♀️

I hate to burst your bubble OP but you do know most schools have outdoor climbing frames etc for kids nursery age (3 years old) and up? And the teacher:child ratio means they'll have to watch multiple children all at once? This will be your child next year.

Fuck me. My kid was climbing trees at 4 and I’m shit scared of heights so I wasn’t going to follow her!

DH and i always supervise our DS 100% on play equipment and follow him around.

Did you know OP that this kind of overcautious parenting actually hinders a child’s development. What you think is keeping them safe, is stopping them from learning how to make judgements about their environment, take risks and overall gives them the impression that they should be scared of everything? Your judgemental attitude will be rubbing off too.

There’s no neglect here, just normal life.

No of course it's not neglect. Does it make you feel a better parent to think it was?

Oh dear, I feel sorry for OP. I’m sure shes got the message by now, there’s been enough bashing. Most of us have had a first child and been a bit precious about them.

I hate couples who take one child to the playground or soft play together and hover. They get in the way of other children massively, put children off using equipment they're blocking and so create log jams or queues for other equipment unnecessarily, block access to equipment for my 3 kids and block my view of my kids. Hovering, loud parenting, 2 adults to one nt child couples change the atmosphere and make all the children old enough to register atmosphere feel awkward.

As well as the developmental damage they do their own child obviously.

This post didnt go hoq you intended did it OP?

4yr olds can jump 3ft easily, yours is only 2yrs so a different level of need.
YABU.

You sound very smug and judgemental

You have one child.

My toddler has got a broken leg from hugging another child and them both toppling over. It was just an awkward fall. Where the 3 adults who were watching neglectful? Were they fuck. Accidents happen. You should like a very judgemental parent.

Funny how the OP hasn't responded

I take my DC to the park specifically so that I don't have to follow them around, that's my me-time, sitting on a bench supervising from afar. Falls get sympathy and a hug, if you're bleeding you get a tissue and an ice cream on top of the sympathy and hug.

We went to softplay a few weekends ago. I hate myself just enough to go there on a Saturday but not quite enough to wedge myself onto the equipment. My 5yo was knocked off his feet by a pair of dickheads trailing around the softplay with their 4/5yo. Ooh look a slide, should daddy go down the slide first? Off you go daddy! Okay now you sit at the top here, slide off and daddy will catch you at the bottom. Off you go! Careful now. Whoosh! Well done! Now here comes mummy! Their poor kid looked sick of his fucking life, he blatantly wanted to be running around feral with the other kids like a technicolour plastic-coated Lord of the Flies but instead was stuck with the inanely grinning Mummy and Daddy. The dad was spinning around on one of those giant ball on a string zip lines when he kicked DS over. I asked him did he not think he was a bit big for softplay, got lots of filthy looks from Mummy after that

Their poor kid looked sick of his fucking life, he blatantly wanted to be running around feral with the other kids like a technicolour plastic-coated Lord of the Flies but instead was stuck with the inanely grinning Mummy and Daddy.

You are clearly a VERY GOOD PARENT. Well done. Have a biscuit.

No not neglectful. They need to develop independence and learn how to climb without parents hovering about near them the whole time.

Soft play is a joy now my kids are big enough to go in by themselves and I get to sit and drink tea.

see you in a few years when your dc is dealing with anxiety issues op. Land the helicopter.