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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this mum was neglectful

218 replies

mistletoeandwine86 · 25/03/2019 18:17

Was at the playground today with DH and 2yo DC, one of us was following him carefully around the climbing frames etc.

2 other mums come into playground, with 1 DC each a bit older than mine, i'd say 4 yo. One mum had a baby in pushchair too. They were chatting and not staying very close to their DC who were running around playing together. First mum then took her DD to the toilet.

Second mum stayed in playground with baby in pushchair and DS playing. Her DS climbs on a big climbing frame and she watches him but doesn't stay close. She walks round the edge pushing her baby in pushchair and he goes the other way on the climbing frame. Next thing he falls off, the mum calls him but didn't see him fall off Hmm He starts crying and she calls him again, leaves pushchair but still can't see him so my DH has to tell her that he fell off and where he is! Shock

To be fair to her she does go straight round to him and picks him up but he fell about 3feet! AIBU to think that she should have been watching him closer?? DH and i always supervise our DS 100% on play equipment and follow him around.

OP posts:
OldAndWornOut · 25/03/2019 18:56

I used to sit on a bench having a fag and reading a book.

sugartitz · 25/03/2019 18:56

God I haven't followed mine around the park since they were about two. I sit on the bench and have five minutes breather.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 25/03/2019 18:56

If I had supervised either of my children as closely as you seem to think is appropriate by the age of 4 they’d have told me to back off and just let them play.

You’re use of the word neglect here is massively insulting tbh.

Shookethtothecore · 25/03/2019 18:57

This is your first child isn’t it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

ChristmasArmadillo · 25/03/2019 18:58

My 4 year old would be genuinely livid if I tried to helicopter her on the playground - and she’s got younger siblings so I couldn’t if I wanted to. You’ve got a bad case of first time parentitis, OP.

wLuytgNx · 25/03/2019 18:58

OP - Sorry about all the hate you are getting. Sad

My ds is 6, I supervise him on play equipment. It only takes a slip, a shove off another kid or wrong footing and they can have a nasty fall off high play equipment.

My cousin was 8 when he fell off a firemans pole and cracked his head open. Standing with him trying to help at 8 years old myself until his mum got herself over to us was the worst.

When my little boy was 3 another child pushed past him and he fell off a climbing frame.

I'm not judgemental of others and I don't think it's neglect if you aren't stood watching your child but i'd rather make sure my child is safe instead of standing at the side gossiping.

I think all your nasty comments towards OP are uncalled for. Yes our children need to explore and play and learn for themselves but I'm right there in case anything happens. No it's not neglect so just politely say that to OP, no need for all the hate and sarcasm.

Mummyamy123 · 25/03/2019 18:58

I agree with the general consensus here......following kids around 100% of the time is ridiculous. They never learn not to fall, because you always catch them. And there’s all these kids interacting with just their parents and not each other. If we left them to it they play together. Benches are at parks for a reason, sit on them parents!

LynetteScavo · 25/03/2019 18:58

So the mum was neglectful for not seeing her child fall? I've seen my D.C. fall six six feet off a climbing frame while I was looking. I couldn't have caught them unless I had superpowers. But obviously I'm not neglectful because I saw saw happen.

I love that you just left the child and didn't rush to him yourself, but your DH told the mum in his own time. Kids fall 3 feet onto rubber (probably) flooring and cry, but aren't seriously hurt. Such is life.

Frenchmontana · 25/03/2019 18:59

My ds is 6, I supervise him on play equipment. It only takes a slip, a shove off another kid or wrong footing and they can have a nasty fall off high play equipment.

Will you still do it when he is 10? 12?

Verynice · 25/03/2019 18:59

No she wasn't neglectful.

ReallyReallyNo · 25/03/2019 18:59

Well done her for allowing her child to build his confidence and take risks. Falls, bumps and grazes are part of childhood and help children to learn to manage risk and build resilience. Good luck wrapping your little darling in cotton wool.

firsttimebabybirther · 25/03/2019 19:00

I'm more shocked that you didn't go to him yourself being the absolute maternal goddess that you are Hmm

Justmuddlingalong · 25/03/2019 19:01

Having just committed the cardinal sin of snooping at OP's previous posts...
Boy are you in for a treat, a shock and a wake up call. Remember this thread in future and hang your judgemental head in shame, OP.

IvanaPee · 25/03/2019 19:01

Doesn’t parsimonious mean tight with money?! Confused

MouseBatMummy · 25/03/2019 19:03

YABU

And you are also being ridiculous

sm40 · 25/03/2019 19:03

The child will be more careful next time!
There was an episode of super nanny once and she told the mother to leave the child to it in a playground to learn about risk and self development. They can't learn anything in life if you are literally there to catch them.

WyfOfBathe · 25/03/2019 19:05

3 feet is less than a metre. It's like falling off a chair or bed. A perfectly normal childhood bump. He was likely crying because of the shock, not because he was seriously injured.

I follow my 2 year old around the playground too. I don't follow my 7 year old. I probably stopped by the time she was 4. She didn't get followed 1:1 around the playground with nursery or school either.

sharksonmyswimsuit · 25/03/2019 19:07

Sod following the kids around on the play equipment besides my arse wouldn't fit on the toddler stuff anyway

There's a lot to be said for stepping back and letting toddlers do things for themselves. Independence and all of that. How will he learn to do things for himself if he has mummy and daddy following him around 'carefully' all of the time.

Kids hurt themselves- that's life. They've seen and heard it all in A&E, believe me. And yes, it was my dc who quite happily told the doctor that he thought he could fly. He couldn't though and jumping off the zip wire resulted in him faceplanting the floor and getting his head glued instead.

BelleSausage · 25/03/2019 19:07

I see the OP hasn’t been back.

Be judgemental, get ratioed.

ethelfleda · 25/03/2019 19:07

OP, I think you should maybe google what child neglect is. It is much, much more serious than what you witnessed.

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 25/03/2019 19:08

Neglect? Oh god I must be the worst mother ever then! My DD is 6 and hasn't had my undivided attention at a park or soft play for a long time now, let em fall every now and again, it's good for them.

AJPTaylor · 25/03/2019 19:08

Have 2. Then comment.

Thesearmsofmine · 25/03/2019 19:09

This is a joke right?

NutElla5x · 25/03/2019 19:09

Well aren't you and your husband the perfect parents? I wonder though if you'll find it so easy to be quite so attentive if you have another child and husband isn't there with you to help. Will it be so easy to follow your kids every move with a pushchair to navigate do you think,or will you NEGLECT to take DS to the park lest he suffer a scratched knee? Stop being so judgemental and maybe help if you see a crying child next time.

Barbie222 · 25/03/2019 19:09

I agree that it's not nice to fall as you describe, but I think there's a difference between two parents with one child and one parent with two or three. If she had two at other ends of the frame, one would have always been out of reach. 3 feet is not out of the ordinary for toddler equipment and it would have bemused me to see two parents supervising one child on something that small.