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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this mum was neglectful

218 replies

mistletoeandwine86 · 25/03/2019 18:17

Was at the playground today with DH and 2yo DC, one of us was following him carefully around the climbing frames etc.

2 other mums come into playground, with 1 DC each a bit older than mine, i'd say 4 yo. One mum had a baby in pushchair too. They were chatting and not staying very close to their DC who were running around playing together. First mum then took her DD to the toilet.

Second mum stayed in playground with baby in pushchair and DS playing. Her DS climbs on a big climbing frame and she watches him but doesn't stay close. She walks round the edge pushing her baby in pushchair and he goes the other way on the climbing frame. Next thing he falls off, the mum calls him but didn't see him fall off Hmm He starts crying and she calls him again, leaves pushchair but still can't see him so my DH has to tell her that he fell off and where he is! Shock

To be fair to her she does go straight round to him and picks him up but he fell about 3feet! AIBU to think that she should have been watching him closer?? DH and i always supervise our DS 100% on play equipment and follow him around.

OP posts:
DoneLikeAKipper · 25/03/2019 18:29

DH and i always supervise our DS 100% on play equipment and follow him around.

Ah, a severe case of ‘I only have one child and he’s still a toddler-itis’. I helicoptered my youngest as well. I now have another toddler, only so many pairs of eyes you can have. There’s also a big leap in independent play between 2-3-4, they don’t want or need you ‘constantly supervising’ - what do you think happens when they’re at nursery or school? These things happen, as we all find out one day.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 25/03/2019 18:30

A four year old is school age and won’t be helicoptered there but will still have access to similar facilities. Would you consider the teachers and school to be negligent?

LunchBoxPolice · 25/03/2019 18:30

If you watch your child's every move and don't let them learn for themselves then they'll have a shock once they go to school.

AccidentalOven · 25/03/2019 18:31

Come back to us in May OP when number 2 is due

FrozenYogurt · 25/03/2019 18:31

The thing is, kids have to learn. They have to learn about being independent and developing their own judgement, whether they can climb the ladder, or make the jump or be brave enough to scale the climbing wall..

Parks are a safe space to learn all that stuff, and yes, sometimes they'll fall, but they get back up again. That's what's important for them to learn.

If you never let your child make those leaps, and those mistakes, they'll be poorer for it.

Allyg1185 · 25/03/2019 18:32

Helicopter parent Confused

ColeHawlins · 25/03/2019 18:32

.

annikin · 25/03/2019 18:33

Op I think your 2 year old is your first child. A 4yo is very different to a 2yo. Plus each child is very different. Some want support, some independence. Yabu

Readytogogogo · 25/03/2019 18:33

'Neglectful' parents tend not to take their children to the park. It's much harder when you have two.

MrsBartlettforthewin · 25/03/2019 18:33

Yabu. My DS is a climber he's 3 and spends most of his time in the big climbing frames. I watch but don't stay super close because I know my child.

Kids fall at 4 they really don't need you to be an inch from them at all times.

Thurmanmurman · 25/03/2019 18:33

Also just wanted to add. Your DH saw him fall and didn’t help him up? I take it both of you perfect parents were too busy judging to help a little boy up and take him to his Mum😡

sam221 · 25/03/2019 18:33

Kids fall, even whilst your watching them. These things happen and really are a good learning curve for some children. The mother sounds like she was doing her best and must have got a fright too.

IvanaPee · 25/03/2019 18:34

Thank god your child has THE WORLD’S BEST PARENTS and nothing will ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen to him.

Thingsdogetbetter · 25/03/2019 18:34

You seem to have spending an awful look of time paying attention to what these women and the children were doing for someone who claims they 100% supervise their dc at all times Confused

pessimisticstateofperception · 25/03/2019 18:34

So neglectful.

You are a far superior parent, please teach us your ways, you sound perfect.

is that what you want to hear

ColeHawlins · 25/03/2019 18:34

Isn't this where someone says, "Welcome to Mumsnet, OP"? 😏

wigglypiggly · 25/03/2019 18:35

don't think OP is coming back

Nicknacky · 25/03/2019 18:35

Op, the mistake you are making is thinking you parent children the same no matter what age they are.

There is a massive difference in a 2 and 4 years olds abilities.

ColeHawlins · 25/03/2019 18:36

She's probably got her feet up eating her popcorn @wigglypiggly

PortiaCastis · 25/03/2019 18:36

Oh blimey are you going to supervise your little darling 100% when he goes to school, don't be so judgemental nobody's perfect and that includes you.

BIGGESTBISHYO · 25/03/2019 18:36

Get a life you sap.

BlackeyedGruesome · 25/03/2019 18:37

If it were DD yanbu
If it were D's yanbu

Children are different, some need more supervision than others but they do need to become independent at some point.

iklboo · 25/03/2019 18:37

We were more 'long range air support' than helicopter parents. Mind you, one of DS's first words was 'careful' Grin

werideatdawn · 25/03/2019 18:37

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Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 25/03/2019 18:38

When my son was a little over 4 he fell off some play equipment at school and broke his arm. Accidents happen and I cenrtainly don’t think a adult should have been hovering with a safety net or soft cushion for him to land on.