Toddler reins and evil looks?

[SinkGirl]

Took twins to the park this morning with DH. They both wore backpacks with reins attached. Both boys have ASD, one also has a visual impairment and other issues. They are both fascinated by moving cars and will suddenly run for the road, they have no danger awareness. They also both tried to throw themselves into the lake a few times so the reins really came in handy! I have a back problem and other issues so it means I can stop them getting hurt without too much chasing / bending.

I had so many horrible looks from other parents (and especially dog walkers actually) - is it really so awful to use them? It keeps them safe so for me it’s a no brainier but I’m surprised by how much it seems to offend people.

Why does you care what other people think, OP? If they work for you, use them, you don’t need to feel defensive about it. That goes for everyone else here listing their reasons too. You don’t have to justify your parenting decisions to anyone, honestly, tell anyone rude enough to comment to parent their child their way and you’ll parent yours your way thanks.

My experience is that more and more people strap their runaway kids into buggies until they are pretty old, instead of using reins. They don’t just let them run wild. DS is two and walks everywhere/hops in the sling when he is genuinely too tired, I see often kids who I know are closer to 4 strapped into buggies around here.

Reins are far better IMO.

They look awful

I bet you anything that a dead child looks worse. Seriously who cares how they 'look' they're a safety item not a fashion accessory.

DD has a few sets, we particularly like the backpack style one (its a ladybird) because she can packhorse her own nappies and wipes etc. Always handy!

We also still use the buggy. And she has a dummy. Judge away!

I used them on pavements next to busy roads in Paris and people were generally gobsmacked. Just fascinated maybe. I doubt you will get many people bat an eyelid in the UK though? They are so common. Well are where I live.

I used reins / backpacks with reins for my twins. If I didn’t I’d have had to chose which one to go after if they both go in opposite directions - which they did. Unless people have had twins or 2 very close in age they don’t get it. It is very different from just having one to follow and watch over.

I think the little back packs are great.
You are keeping your kids safe which is the main thing.
Maybe some folk may be looking as not seen such before, just a thought.

I used reins with all mine - proper reins not back packs either. Ds1 wore his until he was 4/5 at time due to Sen.

Better a child safely on reins than just out of reach and under a car or worse...

When I had DD in reins (she was a runner- I had terrible SPD and couldn’t run after her) Someone told me a story. A woman who had her child in reins was berated in the street. Her response - I used to have twins. The children had been out walking with their DF. He had turned his attention to one child and at the same instant the second twin ran in front of a car.

I never cared whatever anyone said to me about reins after that. They keep children safe, especially when you have more than one toddler to look after.

And I have twins too. Twins on reins was bloody funny when they worked out mummy was a human maypole if they ran round me in opposite directions 😆

DD1 had "proper" reins when she was first walking independently. She walked with the reins on - or she got carried, which she hated. She soon learnt.

My twins are about to take their first steps and they will be in reins from the off, until I can trust them to walk sensibly away from the traffic in the case DS he will probably be about 37

I've always thought that the old fashioned reins with a bib harness were clever but dull,, if useful. But the backpack ones are inspired. Toddlers in reins actually have more freedom to move about than one who is being held tightly by the hand, but we all know how strong a toddler can be when they are fighting to wriggle out of your grasp!

I use them most days. If I didn't, toddler DS would be squashed flat in a few minutes. I'm sure I'd get judgy looks then
Breezy smile and ignore, OP.

My DS wears backpack reins as a backup. He’s pretty good at not running off but I’m not willing to take that chance. Another parent at nursery who walks the same way as us has been openly about them. His DS jumped off the pavement in front of a car the other day, and I just caught him by the very tip of his hood. They use reins now.

Before I had kids I thought they were like taking a dog for a walk. After having twins, they were vital to stop them wandering off into the road, specially when on my own.
Who cares what others think. They keep your children safe so you're doing your job as a parent. Other people can stare all they want, they've got no idea what it takes to look after twins.

I use reins with mine, now 3 yrs. One of my must have items of equipment. We've used them since she was big enough to walk outside with us as it meant we could keep her safe, even if she was going to try to plunge into traffic! It's also easier/more comfortable for a small child than holding hands as that means their arm has to be held almost upright when they're tiny!

She knows enough now to walk with us on the pavement but the rule is still that we hold hands or reins when crossing roads.

I had only 2 requests when my DParents or PIL took my DC out .
One was have the adult walking between the child and the road .
The other was - have the child on reins.

When my MIL asked yo take DS out (he would;ve been 3ish) , I took DD out in the car. I passed DS and MIL at the bus stop (busy road) No reins, not even holding his hand .
If he'd have seen us driving off with DD , recognised our car and ran, she wouldn't have been able to do anything.

He was not familiar with them (because of distance and they wouldn't travel to us) .He didn't behave like their other grandchildren who they looked after frequently

I didn't say anything to her but it made me vow not to let her take him out alone .

It might seem harsh , but I had these two basic rules that I wanted adhered to. My DParents were fine . The DC were in the buggy when they were little , reins when they were older and always on the inside .
I didn't mind them being taken to Greggs or toyshops . Just the reins

I have a photo from when we were on holiday, my 18 month old DD on reigns, and a woman in the background looking at her with utter disgust! 😂

My kids don't like to hold hands, they're confident, independent little rascals and reigns are the only way to keep them safe in public 🤷🏻‍♀️

So fuck everyone else.

The first time i used the little life back pack with my twins, one of them decided he was a dog. This had nothing to do with the reins, it was his favourite hobby at the time. He was crawling along and even tried putting a stick in his mouth. I got some looks.

But, my dad's ex (years before I met her) lost her youngest child when he ran suddenly into the road. She drummed it into me that even sensible kids can have a moment and a moment is all it took. So I'm happy to be that mum who used reins and won't let my 4 year olds scoot to school by a main road.

OP your priority is your children, and keeping them safe. Bigger anyone else!

Not seen reins here for ages (having said that my eldest is an adult) but when I used to walk my boy in them he'd lift his feet off the ground and pretend he was superman 😂 Faces I'd get carrying him like superman on his reins.

I never used them myself but can totally understand why people do use them!

Although I will very much judge the parents on the school run who have their 3 year old on reins permanently and completely ignore him and basically drag him along and yank him back without even talking to him if he strays too far from them

Are you sure you didn't have snot on your face or something, lol. 😝
I don't use reins personally but my parents did on me and friends have done and I really didn't think anything of it.
Just ignore anyone who gives you weird looks.

(When I say parents I mean a particular couple who always do the school run together, not multiple parents who all have kids on twins!)

*reins

never used them myself as kids have always been massive but i know a 15 y old that needs the back pack one and the wrist ones together as hes severely autistic,non verbal and a runner

hes about 9/10 stone and 5ft4/5

Out of sheer curiosity - if the child doesn't have SN, what age would you stop using them?