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Original poster

Toddler reins and evil looks?

285 replies

SinkGirl · 24/03/2019 12:51

Took twins to the park this morning with DH. They both wore backpacks with reins attached. Both boys have ASD, one also has a visual impairment and other issues. They are both fascinated by moving cars and will suddenly run for the road, they have no danger awareness. They also both tried to throw themselves into the lake a few times so the reins really came in handy! I have a back problem and other issues so it means I can stop them getting hurt without too much chasing / bending.

I had so many horrible looks from other parents (and especially dog walkers actually) - is it really so awful to use them? It keeps them safe so for me it’s a no brainier but I’m surprised by how much it seems to offend people.

OP posts:
FormerlyFrikadela01 · 24/03/2019 18:22

Marvelous invention. Especially the back pack style, ds (2yo) has a turtle shell and a gruffalo one and he loves them both as he has some freedom he wouldn't have holding my hand.

Was especially funny at Halloween as he was dressed as a monster and was pulling against the reins all night, everyone thought it was him playing the part of the monster trying to get other kids... it wasn't, he was just being a little shit.

123bananas · 24/03/2019 18:23

You are being a good parent and keeping them safe. That is all that matters, not some strangers opinion on something they know nothing about.

DS (5) has ASD and has special reins because the back pack ones don't fit anymore and a Mcclaren major buggy for those time when it is impossible to get him to walk (he will just lie on the floor or spin in circles). He is also attracted by vehicles, wheels spinning and has no road safety awareness.

I have cared for children after having been hit by vehicles, it is traumatic for both the children and their parents. I would much rather suffer the stares than the guilt of knowing I could have prevented my child running into the road.

qazxc · 24/03/2019 18:32

Maybe I've been blissfully oblivious to any negative response to DD having one of those backpacks, but the only people that I caught staring then went on to ask me "Oh it's so cute, where did you get it?".
I found ours hugely practical, kept her safe and we could stash wipes and spare nappy in there too.
Anybody who gives you judgey looks are dickheads, I find a big smile and cheery hello is the best way to piss them off.

Pimmsypimms · 24/03/2019 18:32

I didn't need Reins with my dd and was a little judgy about them, then I had my ds and they were a gift from the gods!!!!! He was such a runner, I wouldn't have been able to do half of the stuff I had to do with him without them!!

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 24/03/2019 18:40

DH has that mindset, reminds him of children being treated as dogs Hmm I used them for my DD but by the time DH came into our lives she was already sensible and mostly liked being in her pushchair (also got looks for that!), I'm currently pregnant with his first though so let's see if his mind changes.

MitziK · 24/03/2019 18:43

They remind him of being treated like dogs? What, like being attached to something so they don't get themselves killed?

DilliDingDillyDong · 24/03/2019 18:46

In the early/mid nineties they were incredibly common.

As for those going on about what they "look" like - how stupid. Who cares?! They're for safety, not aesthetics or to get other people's approval. Confused

Ignore idiots.

SparklesandFlowers · 24/03/2019 18:46

My DS is only 3 months but I fully intend to get sinew backpack reins when he's old enough. They just make so much sense to me.

Ignore the evil looks. People always seem to judge for all kinds of things.

AJPTaylor · 24/03/2019 18:51

The reason dogs have leads is to stop them running off and under cars.
Same with small children.
Wtf is wrong with that?
My older dds were pre the invention of dinky little back back packs and had reins on a harness that you could also clip to a high chair. Fab invention.

dreamyflower · 24/03/2019 18:54

I use reins all the time and actually had people comment on what a good idea they are. No way would I risk not using them. My toddler is way to interested in the road.

HavelockVetinari · 24/03/2019 18:55

Every time I hear someone say reins look awful or that they're only for dogs, I think of MrsPresley Sad

labazsisgoingmad · 24/03/2019 19:03

personally i think more parents should use reins they are so much better than a child being hurt or worse. my stepdaughter has 4 children including 2 who have special needs so need to be kept on reins as they have no idea of safety or risks

Draughtincluder · 24/03/2019 19:07

www.trespass.com/ladybird-kids-3-litre-rucksack

This sort of thing? So very sensible IMO. The little handle at the top is so useful as most children don’t cone with them installed. Great for emergency manoeuvreing. They can carry their own water bottle and keep safe. You can unclip the reign part without taking the whole backpack off. And ours was a bee and had a rain hat attached with antennas. What’s not to love?

Raspberry88 · 24/03/2019 19:10

I think they're great. Absolutely love them...I let DS run free in the park as he's getting better at following instructions but anywhere else I use them, we used to live on the most incredibly busy road and are now near open water so I think it would be mad not too! 17 mo DS loves to do things for himself and would like to walk everywhere and I thought he'd hate them as he hates being contained or strapped into anything but he honestly loves them. He gets so excited when I get them out and even tries to put them on himself...he knows it means we're going somewhere without the pushchair! I really think they've been incredibly beneficial for him as it means when we go for a short walk he gets a lot more freedom than when he's in the pushchair, gets better with his walking, gets to pull us towards what he wants to look at or play on and without them we would have to carry or push him because he's just so fast and will only hold hands for a couple of minutes.

septembersunshine · 24/03/2019 19:20

Used reins with all four of mine. Never had a look or a bad word. Infact just wondering why anyone would think this was bad? Its mainly toddlers on reigns not 10 year olds!

It works op and all of you are happy. Don't give it another thought.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/03/2019 19:22

You're keeping your childred safe. Job done. All good.

That simple

mirime · 24/03/2019 19:24

I remember wearing reins as a toddler, don't remember minding at all. DS had the backpack ones and he did object sometimes, but safety first and all that.

Raspberry88 · 24/03/2019 19:28

Obviously I took my child by the hand and had him walk normally seeing as FIL was too lazy to do it.

But walking on reins is like walking 'normally.' Its not normal to walk around with your arm up in the air to hold hands. DS holds my hand across the road but the rest of the time I let him 'roam free!'

mogtheexcellent · 24/03/2019 19:34

My DD had reins. It didnt occure to me that people would be giving me the evils while she was wearing them. If they did I didnt notice.

Even when I trekked behind her singing 'I've got no strings to hold me down' from Pinocchio which was a regular occurance BlushGrin

Witchtower · 24/03/2019 19:35

You don’t need to explain yourself.

Before I had children I felt the same way scout reins, I hated them and thought it was like keeping a dog on a lead.

3DC later and I think they were the best things invented!

ReturnofSaturn · 24/03/2019 19:40

I think it's just common sense to use them to be honest. Why would you not?

I have just recently started using them with my 14 month old he point blank refuses to hold my hand and so safety comes first.

Poor MrsPresleys story chills me to the bone. X

Hanumantelpiece · 24/03/2019 19:41

I used reins, a friend of mine didn't. One morning whilst dropping her DD at school, her younger child wandered off, with a group of other school parents and ended up crossing two roads with them before anyone noticed.
I found reins useful when browsing in shops, crossing roads, and dealing with tantrums.

DobbyLovesSocks · 24/03/2019 20:01

If people openly stare at you say loudly 'can I help you?'
I did this when someone gave me a look and muttered to her friend when I was sat in a cafe with my mum who was feeding my DS. She went a bit red and mumbled something about how lovely it was that I was letting my mum feed the baby. I replied quite loudly that yes as it was expressed breast milk my mum got to feed him and I could enjoy a hot cuppa. But then I'm a bit lioness when it comes to my son

If what you're doing works for you and your children are safe then crack on Smile

Stinkycatbreath · 24/03/2019 20:03

They are so normal these days nobody bats an eyelid round my way. I work with children with ASD some have no road sense and people would look ar you odd if your kids were running into oncoming traffic. You cant win so sod them you are doing a sensible thing.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 24/03/2019 20:10

You’re imagining it. And even if you’re not, they’re the idiots not you.

I used proper reins with my twins because those back pack ones weren’t out yet. I honestly don’t know if I got any looks and the only time anyone ever commented I kind of gave them a Confused look and said I’d rather they were safe than not?!