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Original poster

To ask how many genuine sociopaths/psychopaths you've actually met?

364 replies

WillGymForPizza · 23/03/2019 16:06

I strongly suspect that I'm working with someone who is possibly a sociopath. Obviously I'm not a psychiatrist so can't properly diagnose, but Ive met some dodgy and unlikable people in my time and this person takes it to a whole level. I genuinely believe her to be evil. She doesn't appear to have a moral compass and seems to take great pleasure in publicly humiliating her staff. They are all utterly terrified of her.

Most disturbingly of all I work in a Primary School and this person is this person is the headteacher....

How common is this kind of thing? Ive never come across anyone like this before.

OP posts:
MidsomerBurgers · 26/03/2019 16:32

@Babdoc and @nocoolnamesleft

Funnily enough the one I know is a Consultant Surgeon. They do not like me as I call them out on their twattish behaviour. They are totally different with the patients.

They are an excellent surgeon, just a nasty, bullying piece of work in reality.

lifebegins50 · 26/03/2019 16:46

To see these psychopathic behaviours and recognise them is a valuable skill

Absolutely, education is needed. The assumption is we will know a sociopath when we meet on but that is not the case.
They are deceptive and mask whi they are.
I had instincts something was off but due to lack of knowledge ignored them. It is only when the mask skips and the sociopath has achieved their goals will the full extent of their behaviour become apparent.

I believe estimates are low as who reports an ex husband as a sociopath? To be fair his highly abusive childhood was a high predictive of his sociopath which I also ignored.

TakenForSlanted · 26/03/2019 19:13

When someone violates your boundaries, say by lying to you, then you know they aren't your close friend.
It's all about behaviours. On a worse level it's about abuse. Once someone abuses you they should be off your friendship list.

Ah, but what if the moment they first come for you is the moment when they're trying to take you out?

See my post somewhere upthread about monster colleague (who never came for me but whom I did witness come for my senior partner and, deservedly, lose without any prior history of going after him. Monster colleague was genius at biding their time.)

Due to what exactly happened then (and I'll keep this vague on purpose so as not to make it identifiable) senior partner was shaken to his core by it. And due to a characteristic of mine I happen to share with monster colleague and which played a role, I've had a number of deep conversations with the target about what happened.

The target is someone I admired and thought to be unshakeable and unmoveable professionally. I still admire and very much appreciate him. But, frankly, to see someone like him being essentially shattered to pieces by what monster colleague tried (and luckily failed) to pull off has somewhat shaken my worldview, too.

I couldn't have imagined someone would actually go there for a minor move ahead.

RochelleGoyle · 26/03/2019 22:51

Ellyess I feel as though your response is so grossly disproportionate to my original post that I can't really begin to reply. My post was about the supposed ease with which people assume they can make diagnoses. If you are genuinely concerned about my motives for being here then feel free to read through my previous posts.

Smotheroffive · 27/03/2019 03:29

Are the pp on here psychiatrists, making thorough assessments, on all these supposed psychopaths.

Honestly!!! Wtf!!

You see some.psychopathic/sociopathic traits and 'dx' them Shock Hmm Confused

bottleofbeer · 27/03/2019 07:20

Clinical psychologist says are possibly slightly more qualified than psychiatrists Grin

When you've known a person for a long time and you know what the characteristics are (you don't need to take bloods and look at brain scans) then yes, the lay person often can quite easily identify one. Obviously they can't diagnose. That's specialist stuff. I'm not a doctor but I could quite easily see my son had broken his arm. I just wasn't qualified to diagnose via X-ray or put a cast on it.

bottleofbeer · 27/03/2019 07:22

Says? Ignore the extra random word.

It's a little known tick on the PCL-R. Shh.

nowheretorunorhide · 28/03/2019 10:18

I think my ex partner is one. I left the relationship a couple of weeks ago as he was emotionally abusing and controlling me. I found he had a track record for this too and had been in trouble for stalking and harassment of ex partners. He is very charming at first, he thinks he superior to everyone else, he has no empathy, knocks down boundaries and not normal responses to peoples emotions. He masks his behaviour well, but I saw the mask slip and the abuse started where he made me feel crazy and all my fault. I found he had folders of 'proof' to use against me which he started from the start of our relationship. Luckily his ex has helped a lot and I am prepared for everything he throws at me and he has no idea I know all of this. He's a vile person and loves to hurt people. He loves to pretend he's some kind of hero and be adored.

Ella1980 · 28/03/2019 10:22

My ex husband is a genuine sociopath.

Nowordsleft · 28/03/2019 10:33

I’ve never known one (teacher.)

Definitely taught some teenagers who seemed to have no empathy but still wouldn’t say psychopathic as they were too young to have been diagnosed anyway. Not sure how many of them turned out although plenty ended up in prison. Never known a teacher like that.

Exh had a superiority complex and unusual behaviour but didn’t have many other traits eg not charming 😊.

pineapplebryanbrown · 28/03/2019 23:38

Would you say Munchausen's by Proxy is indicative of psychopathy?

Smotheroffive · 28/03/2019 23:48

Domestic abuse is a set pattern of behaviours based on beliefs and completely different from psychopath.

Some.psychopaths are abusers of.domestic violence, EA others are not. Some sociopaths are, others aren't.

Goodness, all the 'experts' on here knowing all about diagnostic criteria.

Likethewind321 · 28/03/2019 23:50

Maybe I know her OP? North Wales?

EL8888 · 29/03/2019 00:28

I have met a fair few of both which is par for the course in my line of work. Both terms are bandied around a lot but there are not that many genuine ones in general circulation. A real (and good!) Psycopath would be hard to spot. Personality disorder is most likely confused with them both, although they are types of personality disorder. We all have psycopathic traits, ironically my job has made me like that l think

TeaForTheWin · 29/03/2019 17:30

Would you say Munchausen's by Proxy is indicative of psychopathy?

I would say that was more likely to be associated with borderline personality disorder (eg: making the kid think they are ill in order to keep them dependent) or perhaps narcissistic personality disorder (eg: enjoying the attention it brings them from others to have a sick kid). Total guess though.

Siameasy · 29/03/2019 17:37

One guy I used to work with we used to call him a serial killer behind his back. He just had something evil about him. He used to really hate most women too (I got on with him because I’m quite no nonsense and not very feminine but when I first joined the team I was aware he was “testing” me by giving me challenging things to deal with that he thought a woman would recoil from).
His wife ended up cheating on him. I laughed about that.

Siameasy · 29/03/2019 17:40

A few more at work where I suspect personality disorders-compulsive liars/gas lighting/absolute unbridled selfishness with no shame whatsoever/narcissism. Thinking they are absolutely wonderful when they are actually nothing of the sort. Deluded and completely unable to follow orders or accept any criticism. Both sexes involved but where I work is mainly male so this is mainly men

bottleofbeer · 29/03/2019 21:43

The diagnostic criteria is googleable in five seconds and it's not hard to understand.

willstarttomorrow · 29/03/2019 22:54

I work I child protection and loads of diagnosis are thrown about often by medics not qualified to diagnose. In my career I have come across one diagnosed psychopath. The torture he inflicted on a very small child during the one month he moved into the household is will haunt me forever. It is a miracle this child survived and it has been a pleasure to work with the extended family who are committed to caring for them into adulthood. Quite rightly family courts do not allow reporting because it not entertainment.

TeaForTheWin · 30/03/2019 21:10

There's a difference between a 'diagnosis' and an informed guess though. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's most likely a duck...or at least, something bird like xD I agree about psychopaths being rare but there's a lot of...similar things, around. And you certainly don't need a phd to spot them.

I'd trust someone who'd been through a first hand experience, came across the cluster b terms and done plenty of reading up in the area- to be able to identify one more than I'd trust a psychologist ect... who didn't specialise in that area and who may have no personal experience of it whatsoever. Infact I did two years of psych back in uni and we barely touched on personality disorders (oh how I wish we had, would have saved me a lot of grief).

youarenotkiddingme · 31/03/2019 10:11

There is a person in medical profession who is in media quite a bit who I've often thought had narcissistic/ controlling traits about them.
This thread and what people have said about people with their particular role makes me think I may be correct!

longwayoff · 31/03/2019 10:30

GrinBabdoc, you're not wrong Grin

TryItAndDieFatLass · 31/03/2019 10:43

My H is a diagnosed sociopath along with Borderline Personality Disorder. Its not nice

MillyMollyMandie · 31/03/2019 10:53

Tryit, would you be able to expand on that.

I’m not asking out of nosiness. I’m genuinely interested given my own life experiences.

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