Lion bar con

[iwantatattoo]

My Husband is a lion tamer and was horrified when he sliced open a Lion bar this evening.
It looks nothing like a lion, very misleading!

I bought myself some comfy sand shoe type things. I'm sure they've given me some guys. It says toms.

BlueMerchant I have a similar tale of woe. Hoping to build a small exotic wildlife attraction in my back garden, I ordered some 'Crocs' and some 'Pumas'. The reviews on Tripadvisor so far are a bit disappointing.

Well don't buy yourself any Hush Puppies will you Screaming! Believe me they will do nothing to keep your menagerie under control, or quiet. My court summons instigated by the NDN is proof of that!

Had a few friends round on the weekend so bought a couple of packets of Revels to liven things up. Massive disappointment. No drinking, no dancing, no lively and noisy enjoyment, just a couple of middle aged women drinking a cup of tea

YABVVVU because I am on a diet but now I want need a lion bar

Thanks, Sassy - I've cancelled my order now!

Anyone know how to get these Boxer shorts to actually stay on the dog?

I’ve just poured the whole bottle out to make sure and there are NO FAIRIES in this bottle of fairy.

Its because they been liquidised.

Booked a holiday on Peach Air, but it's nothing like the story.

Does anyone know if my Swiss roll will still be valid after Brexit?

The Swiss roll will be fine but please be aware of the changes in visa requirements for German Shepherd Dogs.

I believe that Dalmatians will also have issues here. (Not sure about Spaniels.)

Booked an Air B & B. Imagine our disappointment when minor celebrity Donna wasn't there to greet us herself.

So there I was wanting a bit of fun and excitement, so I bought a Magnum.

No Ferrari and no Tom Selleck! I was so looking forward to seeing him in those lovely shorts he used to wear

I'm writing to Trading Standards as soon as I finish this post

Tried a hobnob the other night. It was shit. In the end we resorted to grilling DH's cock. I wasn't happy, he was fumming.

My Fruit Salad sweets ad no fruit in them

Anyone know how to get these Boxer shorts to actually stay on the dog?
That’s really made me laugh

On the bright side, maybe it's safe to try Starbursts?

I got some passion fruit from Lidl today. I am still waiting ..........

Apparently my builders were cowboys. But they couldn't even ride a horse.

And the glacier mints were very inaccurate. Totally failed my geography exam

I'm still waiting for my pack of Boosts to speed things up a little. Fed up of catching the bus already.

My Wispas were even quieter than I anticipated, I wonder what they're telling me.

I wanted some small jewels to adorn my new coat , so I bought a bag of midget gems , CONNED i was !

I also bought a Topic , in the hope it would give me a idea of what to talk about in my next meeting , it has said bugger all so far

I asked a gentleman from London about his Chelsea Whopper but he just seemed embarassed and shuffled away.

Of course fish don't have fingers
Birds Eye have cut them all off

I ordered a Big Mac the other day the guy gave me a burger