Lion bar con

[iwantatattoo]

My Husband is a lion tamer and was horrified when he sliced open a Lion bar this evening.
It looks nothing like a lion, very misleading!

I realise now how foolish I have been about ducks. If only Mr Warburton had warned me.

Should I stop eating poached eggs?

Signed

Don't want to be investigated by the police

I bought a box of dates last week. Imagine my disappointment when I opened it to find dried fruit.

A bought myself a cheese plant today. It doesn't taste of cheese. I've written a letter of complaint to Cliff Richard.

Don't even get me started on the Nerds fiasco. 3 packets later and they're all just sat there and my PC still isn't working.

Fucking howling here!
CLASSICS!!

WTF you lot on?

It was a disaster when I needed to change the Fuse in my plug. Not only did it not fit, but it's an absolute bugger to clean out afterwards. Maybe I should have looked at the expiration date?

largely this end

I bought a tub of Quality Street but no improvemnt in the place where I live.

Although my yukka plant has lived up to expectations. But my coffee table tastes nothing like coffee, such a bloody swizz.

Trying to squeeze myself into the contents of a packet of hula hoops for a bit of a hip shimmy is not going well at the mo despite the wine

My jumper isn't moving, is it dead? And my sweater isn't sweating? Knitwear isn't going well tonight.

I put on the Beach Boys' 'Good Vibrations' earlier. Still waiting...

Slightly off Topic but I just enjoyed some squirrel shit!

I am fuming. Had to get my DS new football kit today, but stupid shop assistant told me they couldn’t help and I was in the wrong shop. Bloody ridiculous- even says Boots on a sign over the door. I asked to see the manager but they were useless too. Just kept offering me perfume and shampoo.

my m and m's are all round none look like letters

Not happy.

That’s nothing CaptainCaveMum I went in a shop called PoundStretchers there on my last visit, very disappointing, they couldn’t stretch any of my pounds nor could they provide me with any they’d stretched earlier.

Had my caterpillar cake for over 7 years now. Still no sign of it turning into a butterfly. Sigh

I popped into the body shop and asked for something similar to mine, but in a size 10 ... It was like I was speaking a different language!

I opened a box of Paxo. Devastated it didn't try to engage me in political debate.

The 'Walnut Whip' I purchased recently made me a complete laughing stock during a recent bondage session.

Have you ever tried to try play a game of dominos with their pizzas? A complete frickin' nightmare. They don't stand up properly and get grease all over the table.

My Asda has a baby sale so I went in to buy one and all the had was sterilisers and babygrows! The babies must have been out of stock? I'll check Tuesday.

I just had a glass of sloe gin. It only took me 10mins to drink though. Outrageous