AIBU Boundaries?

[Pomo81]

I really don't think I'm being unreasonable but tell me if I am. In short...

There's a woman my partner works with who is attracted to him. Because of this I think he should avoid her where possible. Obviously normal work interactions are fine but anything beyond that I don't think he should engage in

He doesn't see the issue or why it'd bother me him talking to her socially or sharing food/drink etc with her at work or telling her about himself

AIBU?

I hope things work out for you. (And sorry for the rude and dismissive pile on you encountered for the first bit of this thread)

Thanks both just seen these now

Things have been OK. I looked at his phone once more and the only messages between them were him asking her why she'd stopped following him and her saying she doesn't want to see pictures of our wedding and to leave her alone. That was just after I posted and it looks like that's been it

So he’s contacted her then? 🙄

Pomo81
If things are ok with you two at the moment. Why would he contact her to ask her why she stopped following him? Her saying she doesn't want to see wedding photos and to leave her alone, well imo, she's either playing the long game or he's stalking her. As pp have said what she does is not important. What he does, is, I think he's obsessed with her. Your call op. Whatever your call is I really wish you well and I wish you all the best for your future 💐

I'm sorry to say it, but you're second best. You're marrying a man who'd rather be with someone else.

Why do that to yourself? You deserve a man who only has eyes for you. Who wouldn't dream of carrying on like this with another woman.

If he's like this now, he will definitely cheat.

Oh darling, why are you marrying his man? Have you not read all the other the PPs?

He wants the other woman and will dump you and your son as soon as she changes her mind. And if it's isn't her, it will be someone else.

I'm going to have to unfollow this post, you don't want to see what we all can see. There was a fantastic long post from a PP who asked why you are just "watching" him why are you letting him treat you like his.

Please please please read through all the posts again, good luck darling 'coz you're going to need it :(

If he doesn't care about her, why did he make contact asking why she wasn't following him!?

Not trusting your gut is going to be the worst thing you have ever done in this instance. You KNEW something was wrong and loads of people confirmed it was and still is wrong. He held her hand FGS, he instigated it, not her.

I think she enjoyed the flirting and she thought it was safe as her assessment was that actually nothing could come of it because he was in a relationship. I think, once he made a move (by holding her hand) she realised he's a shit for doing that to his fiancé and mother of his child 2 months before the wedding and backed off. She's realised he's not the person she thought he was. You need to do the same, you deserve better than this xxxx

@Pomo81
Just go back to the beginning and read this again.

I got out and gave him a hug and kiss to see what he'd do with her around and he reacted normally and reciprocated. Surely if he was that bothered about her or her feelings he wouldn't do that

Maybe he did this to make her jealous and/or get a reaction out of her? Prompt her to contact him again?

Oh God, this just goes from dire to worse. Maybe one day you’ll read this back and you will be kicking yourself. Perhaps there will be a happy wedding photo on the wall, hopefully no other legacies. It will happen and when it does, be kind to yourself. We tried. You clearly aren’t in the right mindset to face this right now, and I dare say by the time you are this thread will be long gone. No contact since he chased her yet again? Please tell me that somewhere in your mind even the tiniest of bells is ringing. Good luck, OP, and get comfortable, this is going to be a long journey 😟