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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with DS cello teacher

176 replies

DesperatelySeekingSu · 19/03/2019 21:49

I’ve found out that the other children in my sons cello lesson have been entered for their grade 1 but not DS9.

They are all at the same level and started at the same time.

I contacted the cello teacher to ask why and she was very blunt and I feel insensitive. She said she decided not to enter him as she doesn’t feel he works hard enough or takes his lessons seriously!

She also said he can’t play in tune and maybe should try guitar or percussion! I believe his scales and pieces are up to scratch and feel he has been singled out.

I don’t agree or feel satisfied with this response, should I contact her employers to ask for further investigation?

OP posts:
Original poster
DesperatelySeekingSu · 19/03/2019 22:45

Oh dear the silly posters are back.

On that note (excuse the pun) good night ladies 😁

OP posts:
DoneLikeAKipper · 19/03/2019 22:46

Oh dear the silly posters are back.

Yes, us silly posters who weren’t born yesterday.

StoppinBy · 19/03/2019 22:46

If you feel strongly that the teacher is wrong then the only solution is to get a second opinion.

I wouldn't tell the new teacher what your intentions were I would just ask for your son to be assessed so they can determine his competence level before you begin lessons with them.

Also you may find that the work he is showing his teacher is not the same as what you see at home, I only recently found out that DD's writing at school was almost illegible when I know at home she can write just fine, some kids get easily distracted and when they are they don't do their best.

Mummymummums · 19/03/2019 22:47

Tbf I think if your son isn't taking it seriously (or the teacher feels he isn't) this should not have been the first you heard of it if his behaviour was (in her opinion) leaving him behind his peers. She's taken your money I assume so a little feedback before now wouldn't have been amiss.

SubisYodrethwhenLarping · 19/03/2019 22:47

🐪

Hwory · 19/03/2019 22:48

Liarrrrrrr

StoppinBy · 19/03/2019 22:50

the sentence should read 'work that you see' not 'work what you see' sorry

tartantroosers · 19/03/2019 22:50
Biscuit
RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 19/03/2019 22:51

gutting we'll never know whether he passes or not.

Lichtie · 19/03/2019 22:52

And OP is gone, to name change, only to come back with more made up children in a different thread.

totallyrandom · 19/03/2019 22:53

Good luck OP with finding a new teacher. From my limited experience teaching styles differ widely, even down to when they deem a child ready for an exam. Some teachers really nit pick bar by bar from an early age which can put some children off. Others just let them play and enjoy and pick up on a few mistakes, but realise you can't make everything perfect from the beginning! e.g. normal for the bow hold to not be quite right etc and for many children to not pick up on all the dynamics/slurs etc. My DD has a young dynamic teacher who plays along with her and teaches her new pieces bar by bar in a fun way. My DS' teacher is stricter and he needs that. I always try and observe 1 lesson a term if I can.

thedisorganisedmum · 19/03/2019 22:55

gutting we'll never know whether he passes or not

I was thinking that!

Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 19/03/2019 22:56

Thanks for the giggle op

DoneLikeAKipper · 19/03/2019 22:56

And OP is gone, to name change, only to come back with more made up children in a different thread.

I, for one, look forward to it. Perhaps it will be a daughter next time, failing to reach their brown belt in karate. The poor OP doesn’t understand why the girl is being singled out, especially when she herself dripfeed, is a fully trained ninja master.

MitziK · 19/03/2019 22:58

@thedisorganisedmum of course we will - he'll get a Distinction, obviously.

steff13 · 19/03/2019 22:58

Do you mean a PITA?!

Perhaps. In one of her other threads the OP said she finds both of her children challenging.

Kolo · 19/03/2019 22:58

I’m wondering why someone so better qualified than a music teacher is asking for advice about music lessons Hmm

steff13 · 19/03/2019 23:00

a fully trained ninja master.

You're setting your sights too low - I bet the OP is Jackie Chan. Wink

frogsoup · 19/03/2019 23:12

So many on this thread think they are being oh so very clever but clearly don't have the first clue aboit music. If someone is a professional violinist they may not be qualified to teach cello but they'll certainly know whether or not a 9yo is ready for grade one or not!! Confused It really isn't rocket science. Op i think you are having a laugh though posting on here as quite obviously you are going to be well aware you need to find a new teacher.

CardsforKittens · 19/03/2019 23:36

Reminds me of the time I entered myself for Grade 5 clarinet without my teacher’s knowledge. I passed - just. (It was a huge misunderstanding and I wasn’t quite ready.)

No idea how a younger musician at a lower grade might do without his teacher’s encouragement. A qualified parent isn’t the same thing as a teacher.

Graphista · 20/03/2019 01:33

In what way are YOU qualified to assess HIS skill? So you're not qualified in cello teaching? When did you last teach at all? If you're so qualified why didn't you teach him?

She's a professional, she has nothing to gain by pissing you off and actually much to lose, so why would she be self destructive?

I'm afraid I am thinking it's like those poor kids pushed by their parents to enter things like X-factor or britains got talent when they have none!

Falsely telling your child they're good at something when they're not is pointless.

Better a harsh truth than a comforting lie.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 20/03/2019 01:54

Its obvious the OP hasn't slipped the teacher a bung!

How else do you think the wealthy middle class push their non-musical children up the ladder of privilege.

youknowmedontyou · 20/03/2019 05:53

Definitely will find a different teacher who gets him, the more I think about it the more I think it’s a personality clash - she seems like a right miserable cow 😂

Does he have your personality traits by any chance OP?

Guylian2019 · 20/03/2019 06:00

I'm sure the cello teacher will be devastated to lose a child who sounds disengaged and a parent who thinks they know better! Grin

Do them a favour and look elsewhere.

cranstonmanor · 20/03/2019 06:16

I had a music teacher who was vile to me and I was a nice kid (before the teenage years that is Grin). Not all music teachers are angels.