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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with DS cello teacher

176 replies

DesperatelySeekingSu · 19/03/2019 21:49

I’ve found out that the other children in my sons cello lesson have been entered for their grade 1 but not DS9.

They are all at the same level and started at the same time.

I contacted the cello teacher to ask why and she was very blunt and I feel insensitive. She said she decided not to enter him as she doesn’t feel he works hard enough or takes his lessons seriously!

She also said he can’t play in tune and maybe should try guitar or percussion! I believe his scales and pieces are up to scratch and feel he has been singled out.

I don’t agree or feel satisfied with this response, should I contact her employers to ask for further investigation?

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 19/03/2019 22:32

(I hooe he buckles down and does well!)

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 19/03/2019 22:32

She's not going to try and teach him cello like a violinist, is she? Because that big spike could cause issues...

loobylou10 · 19/03/2019 22:32

Wow, you're a little charmer aren't you 🤔

huntinghighandlow · 19/03/2019 22:33

Yes but much better to tell people your son plays the cello rather than the recorder (I couldn't even master that ) Blush

DoneLikeAKipper · 19/03/2019 22:33

(@Piggywaspushed, for what it’s worth, I also noticed that earlier, but whatever the op’s game is I doubt we’ll get an honest answer about the changing information, or the cello bollocks)

DoneLikeAKipper · 19/03/2019 22:34

Oops last post was meant to tag @Piggywaspushed

steff13 · 19/03/2019 22:34

Maybe the teacher finds him challenging.

Wolfiefan · 19/03/2019 22:35

@steff13
Do you mean a PITA?! Hmm

justforthisnow · 19/03/2019 22:35

How is he when he's not playing cello? Not being goady, just wondering is he one if those challenging chatty kids?

EleanorAnagonye · 19/03/2019 22:36

Take a deep breath. She may or may not be right, but (from what I’ve read) it’s not necessarily the failure to enter him into the exam that’s the issue (given you can enter him yourself) - the real problem is the timing of the communication (as it sounds like this is the first time she’s ever given this feedback) and its delivery. Not only that, she appears to have left it until a vital time when his peers are moving on to the next step and he is seemingly being left behind.

I’ve run into similar situations with my DC, so I honestly sympathise with how you feel. You may also be worried that his confidence and enthusiasm will take a hit, but it really doesn’t have to be that way.

If you think he is capable, then there’s nothing wrong with you entering him for the exam yourself. Ultimately though (whether he passes it or not), if he is to continue learning with her or any other teacher, then said teacher needs to increase the frequency/delivery of their feedback, and be specific on what goals they believe he should be hitting and how he can achieve/meet them, and you and your son then need to be willing to listen to and act on such feedback.

justforthisnow · 19/03/2019 22:37

I may possibly be regretting not RTFT

Original poster
DesperatelySeekingSu · 19/03/2019 22:37

Totallyrandom

I know some people are very odd! Some strange comments tonight!

Definitely will find a different teacher who gets him, the more I think about it the more I think it’s a personality clash - she seems like a right miserable cow 😂

OP posts:
Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 19/03/2019 22:38

“ How is he when not playing the cello?” is such a classic question :)

Seniorcitizen1 · 19/03/2019 22:38

If you are so knowledgeable why don’t you teach him. You seem ti be one of those parents who think they know more than the teacher

DoneLikeAKipper · 19/03/2019 22:39

Not going to address the fact your making up your kids as you go along? Okies, whatever floats your boat. I wonder what your new kid will do in your next thread.

Original poster
DesperatelySeekingSu · 19/03/2019 22:40

He’s a typical 9 year old who does after school clubs and plays XBox when he’s not practising his cello

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 19/03/2019 22:40

I’m sure she will be a lot less miserable when not dealing with him and you OP
Cello teacher. If you’re here then you have my sympathies. Pour a glass of Wine and look forward to being told you’re “dismissed” Grin

justforthisnow · 19/03/2019 22:40

Well, it is a classic instrument! 😂

Witchend · 19/03/2019 22:41

It doesn't necessarily mean they're the same standard if they start at the same time.
I started with 4 other violinists. I did my grade 2 after 5 terms. One other did his grade 1 after 8 terms. One of the others did grade 1 after 9 terms.

Failing the exam (and the others passing) would be much more discouraging than not doing the exam.
She only gave that feedback when you asked why, so it wasn't she came up with it out of the blue.
Sounds like he's being a pain in the neck in lessons, probably because he doesn't want to be there. If you're desperate for him to do an instrument then have a chat with him and se if there's one he likes the idea of learning. Drums are quite fun for them! I have one who started on violin and moved to drums, he does miss the tuning, but finds it suits him better.

Original poster
DesperatelySeekingSu · 19/03/2019 22:41

Donelikeakipper - eh? I do have more than one child, sorry if that’s confusing for you

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 19/03/2019 22:41

Cello and violins are very similar aren't they? Grin

Maybe teacher doesn't like him because his mum is a know-it-all gobshite?

loobylou10 · 19/03/2019 22:42

Crunchymum 🤣😂🤣😂

DoneLikeAKipper · 19/03/2019 22:43

@DesperatelySeekingSu yes, but in previous threads you have specifically said ‘I have two boys, 12 and 13’. You’re the one who forgot about the 9 year old. I guess that’s what lack of musical prowess does, poor boy.

Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 19/03/2019 22:44

Actually I think that mums who play the violin often insist on the offspring learning cello so maybe the teacher has a prejudice against the child because he’s one of those violin-mum cello-playing sprogs ....

Lichtie · 19/03/2019 22:45

Grin kipper, I just noticed the same thing