To choose a restaurant I want to go to for Mothering Sunday?

[IdaIdes]

I made a reservation for the 4 of us to go to a pub lunch for Mothering Sunday ages ago. DHs ex has asked if we can have the kids over that weekend as she's going somewhere which of course was a yes. But they won't eat a pub lunch. They will only eat out at pizza express or Nando's neither of which I'm terribly keen on going to for Mothering Sunday! DH thinks let them sulk at the table and we will feed them something else when we get home. So I guess my AIBU is that reasonable? Or should we just pack it in?

but it's the princessey way these occasions are treated

OP if this pub lunch includes a 👑 will you book me a table too?

Goodness me I didn’t realise pub dinners were seen as a posh extravagance

As you already had plans to eat out before your DH agreed to have your SC, I would agree with all PPs that if they don't want to eat where you are going then you go without them. Also given their attitudes towards food / eating out why didn't your DH tell their mum about your plans and suggest an alternative time to come?

I'm laughing at this thread as these kids sound exactly like mine. Both mine have autism though. I do find it interesting how horrified everyone is about this situation though as I have family members who "don't believe in autism" and who react the same way as many of you. "Picky Eating" really does seem to anger people.

Right but what does any of that have to do with the kids in the OP?

Of course picky eating in this situation is going to anger people.

I would show them the menu in advance and give them the choice of choosing something or staying at home while you go out and not make a big fuss of it.

Goodness me I didn’t realise pub dinners were seen as a posh extravagance

For some people on low incomes it is.

We're not on a low income at all but for 6 of us, lunch in a nice foodie pub with drinks and desserts will not be less than £100; a complete waste if it's not enjoyable.

I think a lot of posters are misreading this.

The kids don't have Dominos for every meal, they are just fussy about their pizza

Leave them at home and order them a Dominos?

Right but what does any of that have to do with the kids in the OP?

Well I was reminded of my kids by those kids so THATS the relevance. Is that ok? It was noteworthy to me that people are very irritated by other people's eating habits and it made me think of how people have reacted to my children when they've not been aware of these diagnosis or choose to ignore it. So I commented to that end.

In turn might I ask why you're policing threads and demanding explanations for people's comments? I know it's habitual for you worra and you tend not to get away with being abrupt and rude on threads without being challenged but why do you feel the need to? Just answer the OP if you're interested in it, don't bustle around the thread telling other people how to post, like some vinegary old busybody.

luckylavender
"I'd bet that in real life most people do nothing for Mother's Day."

Do you mean posters, or people? You must have a real life to answer that, without betting? Most people I know do acknowledge the day, in some way.

On celebration days, if you fit the title, Mother/Birthday, then it is about you. There's nothing wrong with that.

Yes, it is Mothering Sunday, but when I went to Church in the 70's we were given a small bunch of daffodils, wrapped in tin foil, to take home to our Mother, or female relative. It's been about Mothers for decades.

My DD is Autistic and would have a limited diet, but would eat steak & chips, so we could eat out. If it was someone else's day, she'd make do with ice cream, if needs be.

CarolDanvers, nice bit of ageism, using old as an insult.

@RandomMess Why are you even bothering to eat on MD

What?

Wow, they need to grow up! Don't pander to them! How bizarre

Wow spoilt or what.

Seriously thought you were talking about toddlers here, they need a reality check. I’d leave them at home for a few hours, why let them spoil it by sulking and bringing the mood down at the table?

Leave them at home with a frozen pizza why should you’re nice meal out be ruined cause their mum fancies a day off.

Keep your lunch plans.
You are very lovely by totally welcoming your step children to join you on Mother’s Day.
Make them welcome
If they don’t like the venue
Tough shit

I think we will invite them and show them the menu. DH is uncomfortable giving them the choice because he does feel like it's spoilt behaviour but we are where we are. I'd rather not waste £70 and have to deal with sulking.

We have them EOW and it's not worth it to fight over every meal. Their mum will happily cook two different meals. She expects them to do nothing to help at home. Here we ask they load the dishwasher and that's been a huge bone of contention.

I've worked really hard to make sure the 4 feel like an equal set of siblings. And in truth they all get along really well. I try to always find days out that interest the older the ones but keep the younger ones at least engaged even its running along the walls etc. They are getting older and I think it's time they had more overt choice and if they choose not to come in truth I'll be hurt and so will DH. But we aren't asking for the moon on a stick either for them to sit in a pub and eat a bowl of chips with good grace.

Thanks for all your opinions.

The eldest has put entire pizzas in the bin because they haven't been from his chosen places
That's disgusting and completely unacceptable behaviour. I wouldn't tolerate that behaviour at all.

We have them EOW and it's not worth it to fight over every meal. Their mum will happily cook two different meals
So essentially both sets of parents are to blame for this disgustingly brattish behaviour!
How about you stop pandering and disney parenting?

They sound ridiculously pandered to & I'd be ashamed to have had a part in it tbh.

What meals do they eat when not eating out?

There will likely be something similar on a pub menu.

“It's always all me me me. I'd bet that in real life most people do nothing for Mother's Day”

You must be joking lavender.

Talk about low expectations

Why not celebrate Mother’s Day? Why not? My kids get so excited. I have a special breakfast in bed, with flowers, cards and gifts. DH gets me a gift too. Then we go for lunch somewhere - totally my choice! Then maybe a walk or theatre or something. It’s the one day where the kids don’t moan. What’s not to like?

The eldest has put entire pizzas in the bin because they haven't been from his chosen places.

Why on earth are you and his father enabling this behaviour?

I at no point said there was no consequence for putting the pizza in the bin! Of course we didn't just let it go!

As children get older they just want to stay home.
Don't feel hurt, that is not why they might day no, too the pub.
Infact, they will respect you more for not forcing them to go.

For those saying the OP is being 'princessy' for wanting to go out on MD, did you not read that this was the idea of her young DC, so them wanting to do something nice for their mum?

OP do all the children get on, could you tell the SC that this was the younger children's idea, so it would be really nice if they could come along too? You understand that it wouldn't be their restaurant of choice but will see what you can do to find food that they can eat, and if it would not be a substantial meal, to let them eat pizza for tea

I’m completely missing the point I know but I would avoid eating out anywhere on Mothers’ Day. When our mothers were alive we did something on an adjacent weekend.