To choose a restaurant I want to go to for Mothering Sunday?

[IdaIdes]

I made a reservation for the 4 of us to go to a pub lunch for Mothering Sunday ages ago. DHs ex has asked if we can have the kids over that weekend as she's going somewhere which of course was a yes. But they won't eat a pub lunch. They will only eat out at pizza express or Nando's neither of which I'm terribly keen on going to for Mothering Sunday! DH thinks let them sulk at the table and we will feed them something else when we get home. So I guess my AIBU is that reasonable? Or should we just pack it in?

The 16 year old will only eat pizza from pizza express or dominos
When they are paying they get to choose. If my had children behaved like that they would find themselves left at home!

At 16 and 12? Tell them that they can either sort out their own food at home or come out with you and behave like normal decent human beings (actually get their dad to tell them or you'll be evil step mum before you can blink)

Like other posters I thought you were going to say they were 4 and 6.

I bet they'll eat a pub lunch quite happily as and when it suits them

Showing huge inconsistancy as well- Pizza Express and Dominos are completely different in terms of types of Pizza- if you said Pizza Express and Zizzi I'd get it. But this just seems like them trying to exert authority over situations. Would they not go out with friends then to a Chiquito? Or is it only with family that they behave like this?

Why are you even bothering to eat on MD

Then I would leave them at home if they are going to be so childish and self-centred.

Leave them at home with a frozen pizza to stick in the oven.

I think they should try to find something from the menu that they can tolerate and join you with good grace. At the ages of 12 and 16 surely they are capable of eating something they don't particularly like without it becoming a huge drama.

They absolutely should not be allowed to sulk at the table. How are you supposed to enjoy your meal with sulky teenagers sitting across from you, being sullen and refusing to eat?

They should be told “we’ve planned to go out to this restaurant. You’re welcome to join us, or you’re welcome to stay at home but you need to Choi’s one and then do it with maturity and good grace because you’re not a toddler”.

I hope you have a lovely meal OP.

I think your DH should contact his ex again and ask her to tell the kids what the plan is and discuss with them two options: They either eat at home before/after the meal out: or they go to the pub and eat chips BUT they on no account sulk!
I bet the ex is going out to eat for Mother's Day too with her DM

Stick with your original plans OP.

I was expecting the kids to be much younger.

I'd forgotten how massive a deal Mumsnet makes of Mother's Day & birthdays & anniversaries & Valentines & Christmas...

Bloody hell @luckylavender I pity you if your standard of massive deal is a pub lunch.

I don't understand why you're going out with your partner for mothers day but anyway, leave kids at home or take them with you and they can choose from the menu.

So the 16 year old gets pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner every day from Dominos or Pizza Express? That's really unhealthy, bordering on neglect actually.

Change the booking to a different day and go without them. Going out on Mothering Sunday is usually overpriced anyway - and too busy.

Why not leave it until the week after and have a nice family lunch? There's nothing special about 31 March.

All that said, I'd have thought a 12 and 16 year old could find something on a pub menu. And if they can't, well tough. It's not about them.

leave them at home - their old enough to fend for themselves. Maybe seen as a bit mean but they're are old enough to suck it up

Leave them at home with a couple of pizza express pizzas from the supermarket they can cook themselves.

Everyone wins!

Isn't it funny how 'really picky kids' always eat crap. You never get one that 'only eats salad'.

Ridiculous.

"I'd have thought a 12 and 16 year old could find something on a pub menu."

Yup-it's hardly going to be stuff that they've never encountered before!

16? And 12?

No way would I change my plans for them. They need to grow up and start behaving like adults instead of bratty 3 years olds. I hope your dh has strong words with them about the behaviour expected of them before you go.

I'd definitely leave your SDC at home and go out to lunch for Mothers' Day. It's her day so if they can't go out with you and eat from the menu, they need to stay at home. If they come out with you they need to eat something off the menu without moaning.

It sounds like they have been completely over-indulged.

How old are your kids?

Definitely invite the steps, not to exclude them. Let them see the menu in advance. Tell them you’d like to have them there, but if they want to stay home that’s fine. Do not make a special chips request.

Whose mother are you celebrating?

I have a 10yo who has a varied but limited list of foods she’ll eat. (and it does include plenty of veg ) She’s not a brat. If I wanted to eat somewhere she wouldn’t choose something, she would happily eat a big meal before we went, and join in the socialising with us.

This is the OP saying they won’t eat anything. Tbf, she hasn’t even asked them to look at the menu yet!

What’s your relationship with them like generally? I get on well with my late teen stepdaughters but no way would I be expecting them to do a “mother’s day” thing with me. I’m not their mum. They had a mum, though I’d feel the same if she was still alive (although then they wouldn’t be my steps as my husband wouldn’t have divorced his wife!).

All in all, I’d ditch the MD plans and have a nice meal out another time when it isn’t a reduced and over priced menu! And you don’t run the risk of pushing the teens into celebrating a relationship that they don’t necessarily have with you.

Oh sorry, I thought you were taking your DM out for Mothers' Day.