To choose a restaurant I want to go to for Mothering Sunday?

[IdaIdes]

I made a reservation for the 4 of us to go to a pub lunch for Mothering Sunday ages ago. DHs ex has asked if we can have the kids over that weekend as she's going somewhere which of course was a yes. But they won't eat a pub lunch. They will only eat out at pizza express or Nando's neither of which I'm terribly keen on going to for Mothering Sunday! DH thinks let them sulk at the table and we will feed them something else when we get home. So I guess my AIBU is that reasonable? Or should we just pack it in?

I'm confused - who are the people you booked the restaurant for? You, your partner and your own kids?

Just tell them you have booked to eat out, they are welcome to come, and your really want them too, but if they want to stay home your fine with that

I'm confused - who are the people you booked the restaurant for? You, your partner and your own kids?

Yes. But then the step children's mother asked if they could have the children that weekend as she has arranged to go somewhere. OP has said of course, yes. So they're welcome to join OP, DH & children but will be sulking because it's not Nando's or Pizza Express.

Definitely give them the option to either come and enjoy the meal with you or stay at home with a frozen pizza. I wouldn’t tolerate sulking from a 12 and 16 year old. You’d think the 16 year old would be embarrassed to sulk at that age! Don’t cancel your meal op. Hope you have a lovely time

What's wrong with a pub lunch? I thought that was the one place everyone could agree on! Our favourite pub has a wood fired pizza oven now, is this an option near you?

Just saw their ages, tell them to grow up!!!

Does anyone understand that Morheting Sunday is not actually about mother’s, it’s made up. The origin was that you returned to your hometown once a year to go to your ‘mother’ church.

Why do they have to go at all?

They're old enough to stay home/stay at your house if they don't want to eat the food on offer.

Fluffyears what does that have to do with the thread?

At their age it’s entirely OK to give them the choice between coming along and joining in nicely with the rest of the family, or staying at home alone.

Lots of people know that Fluffyears.
But it’s totalky irrelevant to the OP’s question, given that the idea of Mother’s Day to celebrate mothers is now well entrenched.
40 years ago in my church we’d give small posies to the women in the congregation. It’s not a new thing.

It was my kids taking me out. DS is 7 and my mother gave him the idea on FaceTime. He was excited and I thought it was nice so I booked it. The two younger ones are the half siblings of my stepchildren. I don't think DH's ex is terribly fussed about it all as we have had them in the past on Mothering Sunday. She isn't taking her mother out because she's long dead.

My stepkids have always given me a card and some flowers. We generally have a good relationship. I've been around for so long the 12 year doesn't remember life without me.

Food has always been a huge issue for the 16 year old. The 12 year old was a good eater until she clocked how much attention the older one was getting for being so picky and now she's nearly as bad as the eldest. The eldest has put entire pizzas in the bin because they haven't been from his chosen places. He can sulk for England and it's always about food.

I cook the few things they will eat when they are with us to try and not make dinner a battleground. They supposedly eat more at their mums but she's never been willing to share recipes so we stick to what's safe and do eat A LOT of pizza when they are with us.

If they are likely to make a fuss & spoil things I'd leave them.

If they go I wouldn't be cooking for them later either tbh.

Throwing a whole pizza away??!!

In that case they are old enough to both be sent a message along the lines of “I’m so pleased your with us on mother’s day, we have booked to go to x for tea, do you want me to add you onto the booking or would you rather stay at home?”

Leave it in their hands

They sound hard work around food; invite them to join you if they like but don't change your arrangements

I would go and enjoy my dinner.
The kids can order desserts or hot chocolates and get them pizza on the way home.

I'm laughing at this thread as these kids sound exactly like mine. Both mine have autism though. I do find it interesting how horrified everyone is about this situation though as I have family members who "don't believe in autism" and who react the same way as many of you. "Picky Eating" really does seem to anger people.

Will the pub let you increase the booking for two people that will not be eating? I'm guessing it will be very busy so it might not go down well.

They’re old enough to sit and make the best of it. Definitely do not change the restaurant.

It's your day. The restaurant was booked before it was arranged for them to come over. They have two choices. They stay behind or they come with you and eat with you without moaning.

RandomMess bit harsh to starve the OP on mother's Day.

ShakeYourTailFeathers my kid did go through a phase when he only ate some steamed to death veg and fruit, thank fuck that's passed.

Could you lay down some ground rules? You're welcome to come as long as you don't sulk- if you sulk you don't get the WiFi password .

Is it possible the 16yo has some form of eating disorder? They are often very much about control.

At 12 and 16 I’d give them the choice...

Stay home by themselves or come to the pub you want to go to and eat nicely and be civil.

Seriously, at that age there’s no excuse.

Bloody hell @luckylavender I pity you if your standard of massive deal is a pub lunch.

Hilarious 😂

I'd say that you've booked a special meal out, here is the menu, would you like to come or stay home ? Leave the decision up to them, make it very clear you are happy if they come and not offended if the don't. To make sure there's no hard feelings (because really life is too short) then say if they don't want to come, you'll order Dominoes together in the evening.

@Contraceptionismyfriend - not at all, but it's the princessey way these occasions are treated. It's always all me me me. I'd bet that in real life most people do nothing for Mother's Day.