Aib u to ask what age did you become invisible and do you miss the attention of the opposite sex.

[whatisforteamum]

Until now I always thought it was a myth.I am 52 however I am slim energetic with a young sense of humour and taste in music.Having a teenager at home I keep up with the latest trends through him.I work long hours and have the stamina people half my age lack.I work with people in their 20s.
Recently though there is no denying my wrinkles.Previously I thought they were a badge of honour.Now I just feel old.Men do give me second glances when I am out.However for the most part I feel invisible.
I have never been pretty more attractive I think.What age did you feel like this?

I was dancing in a club with my friend a couple of years ago and a young(ish) man came over and asked us how old we were, my friend told him and he laughed and walked away. Wankish behaviour.

We were both 30 🙄

Maybe you do still get noticed but don’t notice being noticed !

I notice but try not to be as obvious as I was in my 20’s and 30’s!

I’ve never noticed any men or women giving me admiring glances.

Doesn’t mean I don’t get asked out (I’m married though)

Wonder what it must feel like to get admiring glances everywhere you go

I am invisible to the opposite sex now I have baby ds as an accessory. I do not miss male attention at all.

When I go out without him it is an unpleasant surprise

Still getting the looks and attention at 43, I put it down to my hair, long blonde and shiny thanks to my wonderful hairdresser.

I’ve never wanted the attention and want to be invisible

Ah how interesting. I've always been a bit fat and plain looking and I've been invisible my whole life.

Even at my most attractive (early 20s), men pushed past me as if I wasn't there to reach my attractive friends. If I spoke up in a group people just talked over me. My only hope of being served at a bar is if I'm literally the only one there.

The best one is that I've been going to local music festivals for years and each time I talk to lot of the same people there. They always introduce themselves as if we are meeting for the first times. They haven't just forgotten my name - they have no memory of ever seeing me before even though we've met 5-10+ times.

I have always been invisible so the only thing that has changed is that over the last couple of years (am now 30) I just don't care.

Well I met my lovely DP when I was 50,almost 6 years later we are still happy.

I do think less attention from men is natural when you're older. When younger and single I met loads of men. In the run up to meeting DP it was far less & also, I wasn't looking really. Men can be tiring. DP was an unexpected nice surprise.

I don't miss how relentless it was at times.
OP don't let 1dickhead shake your confidence, you know idiots abound. He's also unprofessional. I doubt he's an Adonis.

I have do courted leering by lecherous men but I’ve never felt invisible either. I have no great desire for intimacy with anyone other than my husband but I do like a bit of gentle flirting, being told I look stunning, wing grabbed to dance and being treated as an attractive women. Particularly because I’m the wrong side of 55, not an oil painting, not tall and regal.

I'm 54 and still feel 'visible' to the opposite sex, especially my husband, kids, friends, colleagues and when I am a customer of a service etc.

I still get limited attention from men and definitely not what I once got. Which is fine, I don't miss men staring at my boobs. I think being 'invisible' to any except family and friends is just fine.

29/30. Now totally invisible at 35.

"If I was married or with a long term partner maybe I would feel differently but as a single woman, it sucks."

Exactly. I suspect a few of these women saying they don't care what men think have a man at home and don't have to go for years without male attention.

As for pp saying munters have it easier () as they don't know what they've lost, I dont think that's true. I think the older you are the easier it gets. It used to make me a bit sad when younger, as I would have liked and expected other young people to be interested in me then. Now I'm older I wouldn't expect or want it. And getting served in crowed bars isn't an issue as I don't go any more.

33. I’ve been invisible since I cropped my hair short. Long may it continue!

I was ‘invisible’ from around age 16 to 42, unless you are counting insulting comments and bullying based on my supposed repulsiveness (by male work colleagues). Something snapped/shifted for me in my early 40s and somehow I worked out how to make men pay attention if I wanted it, likewise be invisible if I wanted that. Life lessons? Many men will just assume it’s their right to get to choose and often it’s way younger women they want! Don’t waste time and energy on those me. In the meantime I’m focussing the ‘visibility spell’ on some nice, enlightened chaps in their 30s (in my fantasies anyway 😁).

Er, ‘men’ not ‘me’ bugger!

Ethnic minority and completely invisible from teens to 40s, apart from when I visit my native country.

Many men will just assume it’s their right to get to choose and often it’s way younger women they want!

They may want younger women, but if they're like your average bloke in his 40s or 50s, they won't get younger women!

But let them enjoy their delusions....

I am 57 and still seem to be visible to men my own age and even a bit younger. 20 somethings, no, no reason why I should be.

I've definitely been invisible to younger men for a while. Possibly never appealed to many of them even when I was their age tbh.

Older men (late 30s-60s) have always been aware and/or interested. Which is kind of weird as I get older and am in or approach that age range myself. I get more attention now than I did as a teen/20s.

I think it's confidence, knowing what works for you and who you are and not trying to hide it. And of course the guys are finally catching up in terms of their maturity so find a smart mouth, a sense of humour and opinions less intimidating than years ago. Pathetic really.

And meant to add, was invisible up til about 30.....

"I think it must be much easier if you've never particularly had attention due to looks; if you have, then it disappears, it's tough to take."

I disagree with this. I've always been ugly, but an ugly young woman can still look reasonable in a little black dress and youth itself is attractive to older men. I found it hard to attract young men in my twenties, but I could always find a middle-aged man to talk to at a business dinner or something. Now the men a generation above me don't see or hear very well so it doesn't work the same.

I think it must take some adjustment to go from being an absolute beauty, not just having people pursuing your sexually but the world just being nicer to you because you're physically gorgeous, to having that ebb away.

"If you live in Scandinavia like I do - you're invisible the moment you arrive here. No-one looks at each other! In any way whatsoever.
Young, old, hot, not hot. Everyone is invisible."

Live in Belgium for a bit. Staring is socially acceptable there especially if the starer is older than the person being stared at. It doesn't mean that people stare all the time, but if you want to stare at someone you can. It's a bit taboo here where you can easily get a 'what you looking at?' if someone catches you looking at them.

@Kaboodler

Yes I agree. Beauty is one of the few priviliges which you are almost bound to lose as you grow older. Certainly not saying that older people can't be attractive - should hope not as I'm nearly 50! - but the type of drop-dead beauty which turns heads and open doors, tends to be a preserve of youth.

And that goes for men just as much as women btw.