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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aib u to ask what age did you become invisible and do you miss the attention of the opposite sex.

233 replies

whatisforteamum · 18/03/2019 17:51

Until now I always thought it was a myth.I am 52 however I am slim energetic with a young sense of humour and taste in music.Having a teenager at home I keep up with the latest trends through him.I work long hours and have the stamina people half my age lack.I work with people in their 20s.
Recently though there is no denying my wrinkles.Previously I thought they were a badge of honour.Now I just feel old.Men do give me second glances when I am out.However for the most part I feel invisible.
I have never been pretty more attractive I think.What age did you feel like this?

OP posts:
lhw92 · 25/03/2019 00:46

Well I’m in my 20s, but as an ugly woman I’ve never received attention from men 🤷‍♀️

Although I’ve had plenty of men mock/insult my appearance before Hmm

Seniorschoolmum · 25/03/2019 00:53

I know what you mean OP. I didn’t much like being leered at so a relief that has stopped but now people seem to try & “walk through” me in supermarkets.
It’s as if being 50 makes it ok to be barged out of the way without an apology.
I’m developing a rebellious streak and sharp elbows. I’ll be putting a brick in my bag next Smile

BlueSaphire · 25/03/2019 01:12

I think it's liberating not to be ogled at everytime you walk out....age is a great liberator.Smile
When I was younger I would wear black framed glasses with a clear lense because that made me feel less noticable, and I loved that feeling.
I dont need the glasses now, and I am happy to take a back seat and let the young things get the often unwanted attention.

SomethingOnce · 25/03/2019 01:22

The general leering and harrassment was over by 40.

I don’t miss it, no; it’s great to go about your business in peace.

Holidaylover · 25/03/2019 10:31

I have never felt visible. I've always been overweight and I'm a plain Jane so nothing special to look at at all.

weegiemum · 06/06/2019 17:28

I'm 48 with 3 teenagers - 15, 17 and 19.

I'm invisible because I'm disabled and use a wheelchair. Very little makes you more invisible than that, when you'd think it makes you stand out from the crowd! I'm fat too, which doesn't help.

However, my dh adores me, my kids are growing up into nice people (most of the time) and I use my brain, I'm studying and volunteer teaching basic literacy and numeracy.

I think it's important to not become invisible to yourself, keep a strong sense of who you are. You are still you!!

startalovetrain · 06/06/2019 17:38

I've always been mostly invisible because I'm quite ugly (not a pity party, it's just a fact)

I'm also fat, so being invisible is actually better than having random people shout insults and taking the piss on nights out 🤷‍♀️

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 06/06/2019 17:43

I couldn't care less, TBH. Validation from complete strangers is a form of attention I don't want or need. And to be called 'ugly' by an ignorant little dipshit like this would, quite frankly, be a badge of honour.

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