To think this woman was a cow?

[upsideyerelephant]

Just got back from Sainsbos and not happy.

My DS is right in the throes of the terrible twos. He's a normal toddler.

Anyway, I'd let him get out of the buggy and walk alongside for a bit. He then has meltdown over my refusal to let him climb into the freezer. Full on screaming, kicking, the lot. I pick him up and try to get him back in the buggy. At this point, I'm being kicked, bitten you name it. I'm doing my best but I was mainly focusing on stopping him from hurting himself.

Meanwhile I'm dimly aware that someone is standing beside me and has said something. I'm being screamed at by DS so didn't hear or answer.

This woman then shouts (after a wait of about three seconds)

"How am I supposed to get past, here?! Will you move!"

I then drag my still screaming DS across the aisle and she barges past, shoving my buggy into me with her trolly in the process.

She stomps off glaring at me.

I may have told her to grow up...

It was literally a three second wait. I wouldn't mind but she had a toddler in the trolley, who was of course being as good as gold.

AIBU to think she could've waited? I don't see what on earth I could've done?

people are telling op she needs to do something about her child kicking and biting, she was? She was putting him in the pushchair at which point she gets behind it and his audience is gone! My kids vary but one on one they will behave in the supermarket all three together? Umm no

My eldest has had a tantrum where she literally lay on the floor refusing to move I pulled her around by her foot (gently the floor was very slippery) it took her 2 aisles to decide it wasnt worth it

Ds 1 "ran off" so I stepped out of the aisle (I could see him) he came screaming round the corner saying he could have died and I didn't care but never ran off again ds 2 has special needs and I have him in a death grip thank God there dad occasionally looks after them so they dont come with me often

by the by - I use to put dc in pushchair & if they went stiff tickle them - they have to bend & than quickly do up straps
& have hide behind corner out of dc tantrums sight (but not them out of mine) & waited till they raced to find me. (its usually the 3 yard/meter distance/rule) :) doesn't always work but please try - if you haven't already :)

Lizzie that is a massive extrapolation.

Not having tantrums doesn’t mean weak willed!

dreamyflower Don't worry it will pass. Anyone who judges you is not worth worrying about. Whenever I see people on the internet talking about 'strict boundaries' and 'not standing for it' or 'i just don't let them' I think of Betty Draper from mad men.

My son was honestly a model toddler, ate well, slept fabulously, very few tantrums... my friends were in awe (it was luck not parenting

My god he was the worst fucking teenager in the world ever.... her time will cone!

Some good tips from slipperywhensparticus and mumwon love the silent tantrum too Iputthescrewinthetuna

I said that lack of tantrums wasn't necessarily a good thing. And, as I said, there are other reasons why my DB has turned out the way he has. It's just something that my DM has observed.

And I'm not saying that a child who throws a tantrum should be rewarded for throwing that tantrum. They definitely should not, it's not a behaviour to be encouraged, obviously. But the fact that they throw tantrums isn't a negative thing in itself, it shows that they have a mind and will of their own and need to be taught appropriate ways of expressing themselves.

A placid child isn't necessarily weak willed, obviously. Maybe their rebellion will come later, and they'll be a nightmare teenager lol.

Of course lack of tantrumming doesn't indicate lack of will. It just means that isn't their weapon of choice.

OP I think you were very restrained😂

Loving some of these-many good tips!

I was a lovely, biddable little toddler and then a teenager from hell too...

Maybe there is a correlation ha ha

Iputthescrewinthetuna that's beyond cute

Thanks! But don't be fooled my her cuteness!
Her dad had to tell her 'no' I can't actually remember why. She looked at me and bit my knee...I am on Daddy's team and I was closest!
She is good going to bed most of the time...however, she has her moments!
We stand upstairs outside her room on a bad night, just so we can keep popping her back into bed when she gets out! One night, she came out of her room with a handful of toys, passes them to DP 'have a play, this will take a while!'
Yet tonight, she asked if she could go to bed 10 mins before bedtime!
Would I change her? No! My little frustrating funny princess diva.

She was smearing ketchup over my kitchen wall. I said 'mummy can see what you are doing' in a really stern 'stop now' tone. Dds reply... well don't look then!

Yes she can be cute but she is hard work. She sees the world as black and white!

Children misbehave, I learned very fast with DD3 to get a sense of humour and fast. I could spend most of my time being cross with her, or I spend my time trying to understand her. I chose the latter. I learned how to explain to her right and wrong, without getting cross.
I don't believe children care what acceptable and unacceptable behaviour is when they are toddlers. A tantrum is part of development, it is about learning about boundaries. A tantrum comes when they don't understand why that boundary is in place, yet they don't have the understanding to know why.

There are some spectacularly naive posts on here. 'I didn't except him/her to tantrum so s/he didn't' or 'I didn't allow my child to tantrum so s/he didn't' as if there's some parallel universe where unreasonable illogical toddlers become reasonable and logical because reasons.

As for sitting a toddler in a trolley/buggy that didn't want to, exactly how can that be achieved safely? Climbing out despite being strapped in. Toddlers are very highly skilled at Houdini tricks. I had the opposite with DD2. She INSISTED on going in the trolley despite being too heavy for it. How do you deal with that tantrum? I literally couldn't fit her in and meet the safe weight requirements and I had to buy food!

Parents on here who think projecting adult expectations on toddlers will magically make them see sense are not living in the same world as the rest of us. YOUR children didn't tantrum. That absolutely doesn't make you a better parent. It makes you lucky. We deal with the hand we're dealt. YOUR methods to shut down a tantrum worked. That absolutely doesn't make you a better parent. It makes you lucky.

My children don't run round like loons and people comment how nice that must be as they chase their DC. I agree and say I'm lucky. It's who they are not who I am that has influenced that.

She was clueless as to the terrible twos. Ignore people like that. My friend resorted to a choc coated rice cake snack for supermarket trips at age 2-4. Her view was it was worth the choc smeared carnage for peace & quiet all the way round.

I think I'll be having a word with 20m old dd tomorrow. Can't BELIEVE all I had to do was tell her what I expect of her, and then take her for a lovely walk by the river!

I've been doing it all wrong !

Op. YANBU.

Another one here who was a delightful toddler, according to my parents, but an absolute brat as a teenager.

Children are all just so different - one of mine is tantrum toddler of the world, we have had times where the public meltdowns were daily and I became really depressed about it all. My other DC is totally different, very placid, nothing phases her. Both raised the same, they’re just different people with their own personalities.

Anyone who judges parents for having a child who is having a tantrum in public is a massive twat IMO. The parent probably feels fed up enough already without smarmy comments from other people.

It was definitely the suggestion that some parents actually enjoy seeing their toddler express themselves in a tantrum that got to me the most, @CarrieBlu as if! It's the most embarrassing experience ever, no way does any parent enjoy it.

I accept that some parents seem to enjoy seeing their young child racing round causing havoc. That's very poor parenting. But the tantrum happens because the parent is putting boundaries in place, i.e. being a parent.

Yep she was a cow. OP I feel your pain. DC1 was an angel and so was DC2 until about 13 months. Then he would run everywhere. I tried keeping him in the buggy or the trolley and he would violently thrash about whilst screaming stop it mummy, or you're hurting me.

When abandoning the shopping trip wan't an option I would just push him around screaming with a blank look on my face. Other shoppers used to look at me like I was a wicked mum. A few used to say things to him like 'ahhh you just want attention', one even purchased chocolate for him (which I refused to accept) whilst we were in the queue saying, 'tell mummy that you want some sweeties' .

I'm really keen to hear how you stop a child from biting and hitting either before they do it in the first place or once they've done it, ensure that it doesn't happen again. DS bit on occasion and would hit out even before he was 1 mainly his older sister but on occasion me and DH too. He stopped lashing out at me and DH when he was about 2 and consequences (the step) could be enforced but he still hits his sister even though we used the same consequences. Frustratingly she likes to wind him up and run (like snatching a toy he's playing with), mainly she laughs when he hits her but at some points he will do something that hurts and then its tears. He just thinks its a game. Now he's bigger she has started hitting him back. It is just so exhausting. Practical tops on how to stop this and

sorry DS decided to post_

that should have readpractical tips on how to end this cycle

Food. Always have pockets full of food. Carrot sticks. Cucumber sticks. A banana.

A drink also worked with my ds who was a gold medalist tantrumer when hangry. A drink of water would calm him. A g&t for me...

There's not a latent on this planet who wouldn't love to hear this magic way of stopping toddler temper tantrums 😂

I think my favourite bit of this thread, was holding Kate Middleton up as a role model, cause she's classy don't you know ha ha!

upsideyerelephant
you completely miss the point there my dear, she actually has a lot of class and she did show how to handle a tantrum without letting it go into full blown hysteria. Hats off to a mother who has to do that in front of worldwide press and dignitaries, when others don't even manage in a supermarket.

Of course, she is just "lucky"

My DS didn't tantrum, he only got narky and squeaky if he was really hungry.

DD otoh:

threw the most almighty strops in M&S ( I think it was the lights or static from the carpet , none of the other shops had carpet)

threw her head sideways into mine

threw a massive tantrum ( at 12 months) in Bluewater . I couldn't let her go on the floor (marble , she'd have concussed herself) if she sat on my lap she bent forward and threw her upper body back as hard as she could to catch me. I ended up doing the Roll of Carpet Carry while she raged .

she clawed and scratched at my face (one weekend I was actually scared of her and got DH to do everything for 48 hours, she just seemed to want to harm me )

She's nearly 17yo and can shed no light on her reasons for being such a tyrant

There was no online shopping back then. I used to go in the evening when DH was with them.

I think if someone offered to help me it would've been 10x worse .