To think this woman was a cow?

[upsideyerelephant]

Just got back from Sainsbos and not happy.

My DS is right in the throes of the terrible twos. He's a normal toddler.

Anyway, I'd let him get out of the buggy and walk alongside for a bit. He then has meltdown over my refusal to let him climb into the freezer. Full on screaming, kicking, the lot. I pick him up and try to get him back in the buggy. At this point, I'm being kicked, bitten you name it. I'm doing my best but I was mainly focusing on stopping him from hurting himself.

Meanwhile I'm dimly aware that someone is standing beside me and has said something. I'm being screamed at by DS so didn't hear or answer.

This woman then shouts (after a wait of about three seconds)

"How am I supposed to get past, here?! Will you move!"

I then drag my still screaming DS across the aisle and she barges past, shoving my buggy into me with her trolly in the process.

She stomps off glaring at me.

I may have told her to grow up...

It was literally a three second wait. I wouldn't mind but she had a toddler in the trolley, who was of course being as good as gold.

AIBU to think she could've waited? I don't see what on earth I could've done?

[thedisorganisedmum]

I can't wait for thedisorganisedmum to tell us her tried and tested plan to guarantee no supermarket tantrums!
same way that other parents use to keep a minimum of discipline, but I waiting for a concert of "my child is so special it doesn't work" and "children need to express their feelings you are a meany if you don't let them"

It's your choice, but again, at least own it!

[LL83]

Yanbu I would be livid. She could have went round another way. She is lucky you were so reasonable. I would have taken all the frustration I was feeling trying to deal with toddler out on her. Well done for not over reacting.

[upsideyerelephant]

@thedisorganisedmum

"same way that other parents use to keep a minimum of discipline"

What's that then?

Noting the complete lack of specifics here...

[upsideyerelephant]

This thread is making me feel a whole lot better 😎

[WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue]

Yes, she was rude, but you shouldn’t have let your kid get out of the buggy and wander alongside you. It’s a shopping trip, nobody wants to be there long. It’s not a place to have your kid master walking or get in the way of others.

[TeeBee]

Meh, yeah she was acting like an arsehole but you have no idea what kind of day she's had or what's going on in her life. Nothing has one one cause; no stable person would get cross at a toddler having a tantrum and having to wait three seconds. Probably very little to do with you.
I can recommend chocolate button bribery for angelic behaviour in the supermarket. But really, fuck the people who can't cope with a tantrum from a toddler. Smile and nod.

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

@thedisorganisedmum was it you in the supermarket? I don't believe your children NEVER tantrummed.

[S1naidSucks]

thedisorganisedmum, we’re still waiting to find out how you did it.

[2rachtint]

@thedisorganisedmum hahaha, this is so unbelievably naive and smug it must be a joke!

One of my children wouldn't dream of behaving like that and is very well behaved and doesn't tantrum. The other has been through a biting stage, on the floor tantrums and outright refusal to do as asked at times (thankfully my eldest is the trickier one so I count my lucky stars my youngest hasn't been through the same stages).

OP - vast majority of people understand and have empathy - the lady in the store was an idiot.

[WeepingWillowWeepingWino]

to channel another thread, WhatToDo - would you think the same about an elderly person who might be blocking the aisle with her skewed trolley for ages as she struggles with her shopping? She really should stay home and keep out of other peoples way with her slow moving and deafness and everything else than can happen when you're elderly? Just like the toddlers should not be allowed to be part of society?

I am getting fed up to the back teeth of the humourless smug po-faced parents of (borrowing from other thread again) Perfect Robotic Children all over MN.

[WeepingWillowWeepingWino]

MyGast my DD never tantrummed, though I'm still waiting for it to happen (she's 9, I think she's saving it up for her teen years) - nothing to do with me, though, just the way she was.

[THEsonofaBITCH]

She was a git. I recall similar in a shop having to get necessities - glare and tut tutting by older woman of about 50. I looked her straight in the eye and said "I'm sure your children never once acted up in public." About 5 minutes later she said "you're right. I hope you have a good day" - you could have knocked me over with a feather, never expected her to admit these things sometimes just happen. Shoving your buggy shows she was more the tantrum toddler than yours!

[ColdTattyWaitingForSummer]

Once mine were old enough to understand I promised them a treat at the till *if^ they were good all the way round. It only took about once of them kicking off and getting nothing for them to realise I meant it. I would never judge another mum who was struggling though. We’ve all been there. (And supermarket home delivery is your friend!)

[upsideyerelephant]

How else do children learn to walk nicely round a supermarket?

[Emilydickensonsdogs]

Maybe some people just have placid kids who don’t naturally make much noise. Even with siblings you can have one child who is a ‘terrible two’ and another who is quiet as a mouse.
Stop judging with the ‘I can control my kids’ comments. All children are different and if your child NEVER had any sort of tantrum at 2
, maybe they are the strange ones.

[TheInvestigator]

I just don't understand it. My two didn't have tantrums. The had their moments of petted lips, moaning and whinging, but they never screamed, cried terribly, threw things, threw themselves around or bit or anything. When I think of a tantrum, for me it was just a bit gurning so when I see a meltdown like that I just don't understand it. But it seems to happen a lot and you just need to carry on and leave the mum to it... You certainly don't shout at her!

[WFTisgoingoninmyhead]

How do you stop them, then? Or even prevent them?

Go on, do tell us!

I would imagine she abandons the shop and goes home, that is what I would have done. I too would never tolerate kicking and biting from a child, whether they are two,three or twelve.

[VanGoghsDog]

I can't stand the smug parents who laugh when their kids are throwing themselves on the floor screaming and raging because they think they are being superior. They are not, and no one find the child cute.

That doesn't happen.

Nor does it happen that your imaginary four children never misbehave because you "don't tolerate" it.

Or maybe you "don't tolerate it" in the way my father didn't tolerate, well anything really, mainly by punching me and generally abusing me. Is that your secret trick?

[WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue]

How else do children learn to walk nicely round a supermarket?

You teach them to walk nicely in other, free environments like the park, by the river etc. and when they can manage that then, and only then, should you even think about letting them out of the buggy in a shop.

[diddl]

I'd probably be annoyed that someone was blocking the aisle tbh.

Would likely just be internally annoyed though!

[upsideyerelephant]

@WFTisgoingoninmyhead

In order to 'abandon the shop' (and also food for the next few days) I would still need to get him into the buggy.

So I'm a loss as to what you or disorganised would have done differently to me?

[ohfourfoxache]

[oh4forkssake]

@thedisorganisedmum, I am a disciplinarian and can silence 95% of children of my acquaintance with the raising of an eyebrow. 99% of the time it works for DD2 but when it doesn't, everyone in three counties knows about it. Give the OP a break.

OP, that woman was a nasty piece of work. A sympathetic look would have gone a long way to resolving that situation.

[upsideyerelephant]

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue

"You teach them to walk nicely in other, free environments like the park, by the river etc. "

By the river? Do you have kids, or was that a bad joke?