To think this woman was a cow?

[upsideyerelephant]

Just got back from Sainsbos and not happy.

My DS is right in the throes of the terrible twos. He's a normal toddler.

Anyway, I'd let him get out of the buggy and walk alongside for a bit. He then has meltdown over my refusal to let him climb into the freezer. Full on screaming, kicking, the lot. I pick him up and try to get him back in the buggy. At this point, I'm being kicked, bitten you name it. I'm doing my best but I was mainly focusing on stopping him from hurting himself.

Meanwhile I'm dimly aware that someone is standing beside me and has said something. I'm being screamed at by DS so didn't hear or answer.

This woman then shouts (after a wait of about three seconds)

"How am I supposed to get past, here?! Will you move!"

I then drag my still screaming DS across the aisle and she barges past, shoving my buggy into me with her trolly in the process.

She stomps off glaring at me.

I may have told her to grow up...

It was literally a three second wait. I wouldn't mind but she had a toddler in the trolley, who was of course being as good as gold.

AIBU to think she could've waited? I don't see what on earth I could've done?

[HauntedPencil]

Ah thx my child never had a tantrum as I told them no crowd.

1. Bollocks every child has had a tantrum
   
   
2. it's a perfectly normal stage of development
   
   Yes she was a cow.

[Barrenfieldoffucks]

But no, not every child has had a tantrum. My older two never did. They misbehaved in other ways, but tantrumming wasn't one of them. My youngest looks like he may well make up for it though.

Clearly I parented the first two awesomely well, and have gone to shit for #3.

[SmarmyMrMime]

I'm so grateful that when DS (then aged 2) had a humdinger of a tantrum in the lobby of the supermarket when I was 38 weeks pg and on crutches from SPD, a delightful older couple took pity on me, asked if they could pick him up and put him in a ride-on to cheer him up enough so that he regained the capacity to walk to the car. By that point, parking in a parent and child space and lugging myself while he walked next to me to go to the cafe was about the only way I could get us out of the house for a break for a while. Unfortunately on leaving, he wanted to go to the toy aisle, and I just couldn't physically go that far. I couldn't bend to him, I couldn't push the pram, I could't use reins. Until they walked over, all I could do was wait it out as he thrashed at my feet, wailing.

OP was handling the tantrum perfectly appropriately and there was no need for such rudeness from the woman.

DS was (and still is) an epic tantrumer (SN under investigation because alas, he wasn't delivered with an instruction manual.)
The supermarket was a prime trigger. The noise, the tempation, the toy aisle. Unfortunately due to his multiple food allergies, it took a minimum of 2 supermarkets a week to buy a balanced diet of allergen free food, and we rotated around 4 together. I couldn't get to minimum spend in one supermarket for online. I used reins straps to secure him to the seat (when I wasn't too pregnant to push a trolley) because he would throw himself out to the ground despite the waist strap. He was lucky not to get concussion when he did it from the giant Costco trolley. He did get a big egg on his head though. I tried just about every legal technique going. None were fool proof some might work now and then. His levels of tantrum have exceeded normal range. His brother has a very different personality and barely tamtrums, and has never really done it with full welly. Maybe he noticed that DS1 never got away with it. Maybe it is just that he has a simpler, sunnier disposition and no traits of SN. If I'd had DS2 first, I could have been in danger of being smug about my marvellous parenting. Incidentally, both are delightful at school, DS1 just masks and unleashes all the frustration at home.

[Ellyess]

Barrenfieldoffucks. Same here. Two goody goodies and then ; bam! ⚡︎No.3! My older two and I just didn't know what had hit us. Clearly I was the fluckest mother ever. We were in hospital 2 days and as I was leaving with her a nurse-type person (not a nurse - someone whose supposed to help you...) said "I'm glad that one's going. It's done nothing but screech all the time." And so it continued, to screaming, screeching, yowling, bawling, howling and bringing the houses down. Kicking, scratching, biting, fighting, never stopping, or so it seemed. Can a baby be a psychopath? I used to wonder, terrified. Eventually she became the perfect child. Very bright at school, people always saying how marvellous she is..... I smile weakly and think of those first years. I am still getting over them.

[Munchkinbug]

My child never tantrums in public. Ever. At all.

And I never fart. Ever. NOT EVEN WHEN I’M ALONE.

What utter pish.

All normal, healthy children throw tantrums occasionally. Sometimes in public (gasp!). Sometimes you can remove the child from the situation, sometimes you can’t.

As for not letting a child out of the buggy/trolley until they’re fully disciplined (whatever that means)...fuck that. My child is a member of our society, with just as much right to be there as anyone else. If she gets in anyone’s way, I ABSOLUTELY move her, redirect her, and whatever else I can do to teach her how to ambulate considerately. My job is to teach my child how to be a good person. It is not to make your shopping experience better. If you want a world without children, go to a pub or a casino, or a sex shop.

The woman who barged past you needs to relearn a few things. Like compassion, understanding, manners and patience. You never know though - maybe she’s really nice normally, but her dog had picked that particular morning to shit in her favourite shoes.

Whatever the case, YANU, so it’s okay to let it go. Let grumpy-knickers keep her smug indignation, and don’t give her another thought.

[arethereanyleftatall]

Oh for goodness sake @Munchkinbug. Please just stop.

No, they don't.

(I've only read the last post, but I find it so frustrating when a poster makes a sweeping statement, as if it's a fact, about every single child that ever existed. Have you met them all?)

I'm sure plenty of toddlers do tantrum, it's known as the terrible twos after all, and that's absolutely fine and normal.

I'm also sure plenty of toddlers don't tantrum. Dd1 never did. Never. Not in the house, not out in public. She wasn't repressed, it just isn't in her nature at all. I also think those toddlers that can communicate really well, don't get frustrated as much.

Anyway, it's all absolutely irrelevant to the thread, but permit me to shout one more time:

ALL CHILDREN DO NOT TANTRUM!

[Munchkinbug]

@arethereanyleftatall all right, fair enough. I said ALL. I meant MOST. My bad.

No need to flap, though. Perhaps read more than the last post, and you may have more insight into my frustration, and be able to see what prompted my response.

Talking about sweeping statements - I’ve read far too many that suggest that parents of children who tantrum simply don’t know how to discipline them. This is tremendously judgemental, ridiculously unhelpful, but most importantly is utter nonsense.

The vast majority of children who tantrum are normal. The vast majority of parents out there are doing their best. In my opinion - before anyone takes umbrage at this highly controversial statement.