To think this woman was a cow?

[upsideyerelephant]

Just got back from Sainsbos and not happy.

My DS is right in the throes of the terrible twos. He's a normal toddler.

Anyway, I'd let him get out of the buggy and walk alongside for a bit. He then has meltdown over my refusal to let him climb into the freezer. Full on screaming, kicking, the lot. I pick him up and try to get him back in the buggy. At this point, I'm being kicked, bitten you name it. I'm doing my best but I was mainly focusing on stopping him from hurting himself.

Meanwhile I'm dimly aware that someone is standing beside me and has said something. I'm being screamed at by DS so didn't hear or answer.

This woman then shouts (after a wait of about three seconds)

"How am I supposed to get past, here?! Will you move!"

I then drag my still screaming DS across the aisle and she barges past, shoving my buggy into me with her trolly in the process.

She stomps off glaring at me.

I may have told her to grow up...

It was literally a three second wait. I wouldn't mind but she had a toddler in the trolley, who was of course being as good as gold.

AIBU to think she could've waited? I don't see what on earth I could've done?

No, the OP didn't say you did that, she merely said that this was the case with one of her neighbours. What she was getting at was that placid children are not always that way because of good parenting.

What she was getting at was that placid children are not always that way because of good parenting.

And that non-placid children aren't always that way due to bad parenting.

theorganisedmum How do you pronounce unacceptable?

Hahahaha

We have no idea what you do @thedisorganisedmum, because you refuse to tell us.

I don't think you've ever even met any children, never mind had any.

Next time, I'll let him dance on the oven chips.

I always found that tantrums were more likely when my toddlers were tired, hungry or overstimulated.
And when they got old enough to understand, some preparation was helpful e.g. explaining in advance what we were going to be doing - or not doing, if I wasn’t going to be letting them do certain things or buying sweets / toys etc.

None of that’s a foolproof way to guarantee no tantrums of course.

I had some tough times in other aspects of my life but am eternally grateful that my DC never had massive public meltdowns as toddlers. This had nout to do whatsoever with my parenting skills but was down to luck of the draw. Both DC were easy enough to distract when I could sense them building up to a temper tantrum. I kept DC in their buggies/trolley though because it was easiest to manage.

@DoomOnTheBroom Quite true.

Next time, I'll let him dance on the oven chips.

At least let him climb in the ice cream freezer and help himself to a few lollies then you can be judged for his shitty diet as well as his bad behaviour

upsideyerelephant

I stand by my earlier post, parents being either proud of their little darlings expressing their feelings
or pretending that nothing could possibly work on their precious child because they are so special.

Each to their own

Kicking & biting at being told no, is this at every no or too used to being allowed to do as they please. Thinking this behaviour as ott isn't being smug, it's being surprised that so many think this is part of being a toddler; if your child thinks getting told no is a reason to kick, scream and bite then I think youre going wrong somewhere.

I stand by my earlier post, parents being either proud of their little darlings expressing their feelings
or pretending that nothing could possibly work on their precious child because they are so special

But none of that is going on in any of the posts on this thread.

Each to their own

Yes, us to our normality and you to your smug arseholery.

You still haven't shared your wonderful parenting tips so I can only presume it's a crock of bullshit and you're just a goady fucker.

And that non-placid children aren't always that way due to bad parenting

DS2 & DS3 are far, far more placid than DS1 was at their age. I’m pretty certain that my parenting didn’t drastically improve after DS1.

if your child thinks getting told no is a reason to kick, scream and bite then I think youre going wrong somewhere

7yo then yes, horrendous behaviour(unless SN)
2yo then no, OP is teaching her child how to behave. They're not robots you know, they have to learn.

These conversations are a bit like those about baby sleep.

Well my baby sleeps because we have a strong routine etc... do they hell, it's pure luck.

I was never actually in doubt as to how I handled my DS- just how I handled the Stupid Cow.

Nice to know I'm not alone though.

Just searched for/watched one of my "all time" favourite adverts - "Vicks First Defence Nasal Spray"

DS2 & DS3 are far, far more placid than DS1 was at their age. I’m pretty certain that my parenting didn’t drastically improve after DS1.

DC1 is often considered by judgemental strangers to be "naughty", especially now he's well past the toddler stage, but he has ASD and is developmentally delayed so while he looks 9yo his emotional and social processing are somewhere on the same level as a 4 or 5yo. I've been told many times that a firm hand will sort him out, that he just needs boundaries, and - laughably - "send him to me for a week, I'll soon have him sorted"

DC2 on the other hand, now she's past the toddler stage, is impeccably behaved and very rarely has to be told off.

DC3 and DC4 are still only small but are well-behaved a lot of the time in consideration of their ages and the fact they're still learning where the boundaries lie.

I haven't parented any of them any differently.

Whatever you do op, if you do pick them up and put it them under an arm, for goodness sake don't let the bitey end anywhere near your arse.

My DD was really really good in supermarkets, angelic, delightful, engaged, sitting in the trolley chatting, did not have toddler tantrums...

My other autistic toddler on the other hand used to get really distressed and have sensory meltdowns, oh the looks.

You manage them as best as possible, minimising the distress to all as best as possible.

Two of mine have very placid personalities, never tantrumed and easily distracted. Was always confused (and smug as fuck) about the "Terrible Twos". What a great parent I am, look how well my discipline works!

But the third child......OMG does that one tantrum. Not very often but when he does it's long, it's loud, it's violent and it will carry on until HE decides he's finished. Brought up same as the other two and even tho his tantrums never get him what he wants he still insists. He's just a stubborn bugger.

Ffs when did a tantrum become "meltdowns" - so dramatic!

You teach them to walk nicely in other, free environments like the park, by the river etc. and when they can manage that then, and only then, should you even think about letting them out of the buggy in a shop

Gotta love the pare ting tip that says your kid falling into a river and drowning because they haven't mastered nice walking is preferable to a momentary inconvenience for someone else in a supermarket!!

I always love the smug parenting - my kid doesn't do it because I don't allow it type. My toddler started biting (shock horror!!) at a very young age, well before 1. Needless to say they didn't quite grasp 'no' and didn't actually grow out of it until around 2. Every time I corrected them and told them they couldn't bite and why.... made no bloody difference. Also my toddler tantrums BECAUSE I say no and stop them not because I'm indulgent.... isn't that usually the case with tantrums??

Mine never tantrummed ever. I am internally abit shocked by tantrums. But in my head I know I am probably unreasonable. The woman was mean. That said my eldest when a toddler dramatically fell in a river once which detracts from my smugness somewhat.

It’s always entertaining with goady fuckers
They always slightly over egg the pudding
All of a sudden on every thread being oh so obviously controversial
Guys guys to be a pro goady fucker remember less is more

If it was literally 3 seconds, then yes she WBU!!

However, my friends with under 5’s do have a SEVERE tendency to downplay!

I don’t have a toddler (and tbf it looks rough so lots of respect) ...but it doesn’t change the facts and I really do think parents become desensitised!!

The amount of times my friends with small children say things like... ‘I can’t believe that woman at the restaurant complained, X was only crying for like 5 seconds.’

Or

‘God what an impatient arse, I only blocked the footpath with my buggy for 2 minutes to look in that window’

And I was literally there with them, and it was NOT 5 seconds, or two minutes!!!

A friend of mine recently kicked off in a shop acusuing them of being ‘anti children’ after her 4 year old ‘just pulled out a couple of toys to look at’ - 😒 I was there- her DD had wrecked the aisle and was throwing a tantrum at having been stopped!