Granparent holidays

[biatu]

MIL wants to take DS (8) to Spain this summer for 2 weeks as a bday present for her 60th from her partner, me and OH cant afford to go with so it would be DS, MIL and MILs partner. I have never been abroad personally so feel like I would rather my sons first time abroad be a family hol. Me and OH are not keen to say yes, AIBU?

Thanks all, good points raised.

scooping up the dgs and not paying for dcs as well - We paid for dds holidays for many many years (and expected to, we are her parents) She is now an adult, we are not responsible for her holidays now, we can however occasionally take our dgs away with us, We dont do it to be kind, its just that we can help with childcare, it suits our family and we guard dgs with our lives and yes, we can certainly manage to entertain and be alert near a swimming pool.

We aren't all heading for the knackers yard at 60.

@thebabessavedme does your DD get to go on holiday as well though? (not with you I mean)

Yes Lucky she does, while dgs is too young for school they get to go away during term time, as do we we are just in a fortunate position to be able to take dgs away during peak season when they rely on me for childcare.

yes sorry, they do go away on their own as a family

If I offered to take my GS abroad for two weeks my DD would bit my arm off! Why deprive your son of different experiences because of your own anxiety? Unless there are reasons you don’t think she could adequately care for a child I think you’re being neurotic

I wouldn't let my children go abroad with out myself or DH. A trip in the UK I would. Could you suggest she does something here with your child instead?

We went away with my GPS a lot. At least twice alone, and almost every family holiday with gps coming along (usually as they were paying).

My grandfather in particular was more fun than my own DM, he taught us to dive, do handstands, fish, built sand castles and dams, taught me photography etc. My children’s own GPS are not like this at all so for me, it would depend on their relationship. I prob wouldn’t say yes or I’d find the money to go.

Personally, id bite her arm off. I'd ask DS in private and give him the chance to decline it if he didn't want to go. Pretty sure my own DS (7) would love to spend 2 weeks in Spain with my DM, and I think she'd love it too - although as she's still working full time in a demanding job she definitely wouldn't / couldn't offer up this sort of holiday just now. I would have no concerns about her understanding of what 24/7 childcare is like or her safe supervision of him in the presence of swimming pools and wine. Very baffled by PP who think grandparents either don't know how to look after a child, or don't actually enjoy spending time with their grandchildren. I'm sure it is more tiring at 60 than it is at 30, but the flip side of that is that the grandparents get to rest properly once the dgc are back with the parents; likewise I often think my DM finds my children a bit easier to enjoy than she actual did us (although she'd be horrified to hear me say that), because she doesn't have to do all the laundry and homework and everyday tedium.

... But all of that is me, my DS, and my DM. You don't have to agree to anything you're not comfortable with. I'm not personally much persuaded that 2 weeks is significantly different from 6 days, or that Spain is really so far, and definitely I wouldn't be worrying about wine unless she has some sort of form for drinking too much and the dc/dgc suffering even slightly as a result. I definitely wouldn't be depriving my child of a fantastic holiday just because I wanted the experience of taking him abroad first to be mine. But maybe beneath these things are harder to define feelings that it wouldn't be right for your family, and I think gut instinct is an important thing when you're making decisions for your children.